Oct 02, 2009 22:33
Last night, I sat at my wide-open window, looking out at the stars and the moon and the velvety sky. It was the most peaceful I have ever felt. Ever. This is the closest I have come yet to Buddhism. I finally understand what Siddhartha Gautama was talking about - Why must we rely so much on things we need so little? All we truly need is nature. There is food in nature, and water, and shelter. We have conformed so much to society, become so "civilized" and "sophisticated" that we are no longer able to realize the full potential of simply being. Nobody stops and sits and thinks anymore - It is always rush-rush-rush from one thing to the next - What is the use of a busy life if it is not interrupted by meditation every now and then? Contrarily, what is the use of meditation if it is interrupted by busywork? Finally, finally, I know what everyone means when they say meditation. I have not yet achieved a release from suffering, because I have not yet achieved a release from desire. But when I meditate, or mediate, my desires leave me as if I have a soul - as if souls do exist. Our souls are what we make them, but they are fictitious, imaginary, unreal. To be wild, to be free, to be more than I dream - That is a real release. To be wild and free and imaginary - to be untrue. That would be the greatest truth.
I also understood the full weight of the word "universe" for the first time. Everything that beats - everything that lives - everything that breathes - everything that gives off vibrations. Anything beyond sources of vibrant energy is not part of my universe. There are various definitions for "universe" - but mine is one in which everyone and everything sways and beats and thumps to the sound, one sound, the sound of goodness and beauty: om. This does not mean conformity or convention or tradition - this means acceptance, love, and harmony. Which, in turn, pave the road to peace.