More awkward stories courtesy of Kate's life...
The Handicapped Date -- August '07:
So I met this guy J online, and we decided to get together up and go on a date. He was really sweet and charming, and asked what I wanted to do in the DC area, and I said, why don't we go to the zoo? What he neglected to tell me was that he had some disability that prevented him from walking normally. He sort of dragged his foot and kinda had problems getting around. It looked like he was in pain too. I felt soooooo bad for suggesting we go to the zoo, cause that requires alot of walking! If I had known, I would have suggested perhaps a movie or Starbucks. We didn't really hit it off and don't talk anymore, but by no means is it because of his disability. There was just no chemistry. I felt absolutely horrible for dragging him around the zoo with me, the poor guy!
The Night From Hell in Manhattan -- January '06
My friend R had just turned 18, and we were spending her birthday in NYC. Since she had just turned 18, she wanted to go clubbing. Our friend J who was with us claimed to know the city well, so she took us out to find a club. After jumping the gates on the metro and traipsing around the city (and stopping to allow my roommate L to pee on the sidewalk), we finally find a club and decide to go in. As we walk in, the smell of pot is ridiculously strong, and everybody is staring at us because not only are we the only women in the club, but we are also the only white people. An old rastafarian is grinding with L, offering her hits off his joint and buying her drinks. We finally try to leave, and L is walking around going "I WANNA GO ON THE ROOF!!!!!" As we try to leave, the rastafarian corners R and L, asking their names. R replies "R....." and Laura says "R.......BUT DON'T GET US CONFUSED WE'RE DIFFERENT PEOPLE!!!!!!"
We get L out of the club and hail a cab, but the driver doesn't want to take us because there are 5 of us and his cab only fits 4. We beg him and tell him its R's birthday and he lets us in. We make it all the way back to Herald Square (where we are staying) and we're getting out money to pay, when L opens her mouth and vomits all over herself and R. L and R get out of the cab, and begin puking on the sidewalk, while the cab driver screams at me for more money and I'm handing it over to get him to go away. L and R finally stop puking, and we go into the hotel, L strutting with her barf covered blazer swung over her shoulder, trying to look "normal."
R convinces L to get into the shower to wash the puke off, but Laura is taking her clothes off and getting the vomit in her hair and everywhere. R tries to tell her not too, but she claims "TOO BAD I'VE GONE TOO FAR" and takes all her clothes off. She then gets into the shower and yells to us "WHERE'S THE VOLUME?!?!?!" R goes to the laundry room in the hotel and tries to wash hers and L's clothes, but has no detergent and so she has to use the extras left over in the bottles of detergent in the trash. Turns out L had puked in R's purse as well, so poor R had to carry around her stuff in a plastic bag until we got to Chinatown to buy a new one. L slept the entire next day.