(no subject)
I've learned alot these past few weeks, and come to some revelations about my life and what I need to do to change it.
1) I will no longer be ashamed to admit when I like something. Or someone. When I open myself up to these feelings, my life just becomes so much easier. My feelings towards things and people are my feelings and I'm not gonna hide from them anymore.
So here it is, world.
I like Spring Awakening. I am NOT a fangirl. I am NOT obsessed. I enjoy the show, the music, the cast, and the people associated with it (for the most part). What I love most of all about it is that the show brought me to some of the most wonderful people I know. I love each and every one of them and hope that they love me and care about me as much as I do them. I will no longer hide my feelings towards the show because I worry about people judging me. Because if it weren't for Spring Awakening, I would not have met five of the most amazing people I know. And to me, thats worth everything. And not worth hiding.
I like someone as more than just a friend. I don't know how he feels about me. I disgust myself because I find myself constantly going out of my way to be near him. And he never does that for me. I wonder if we even have a chance seeing as there is a significant age difference and a bit of a distance. But I will continue to try until I feel it is unnecessary or that I have no chance.
2) Competition towards things (and people) is silly and I will no longer compete. I will let what happens happen. I will speak my mind. I will not be jealous because some people have what I want. I will be thankful for what I have. I will work hard to get what I want, but I will not let other people interfere with me or phase me anymore. I will no longer compete for men. I will let men come to me, and if they want me, they will get me. If they don't, then they're not good enough.
3) I will take risks in life. Risks that are crapshoots. Prestigious internships in New York City. A part in a broadway play. I will no longer sit back and let my life guide itself. I will guide my life. And if I want to try something, I will go for it. I will no longer skip out on something because it scares me, because taking those risks is the only way that I will advance. And those two risks right now are the keys to my happiness.
4) I will tell my friends and family that I love them more often. Life takes so many terrifying turns, and the thought of losing someone right now is so devastating. The scariest thing to me is losing somebody before I have the opportunity to tell them how I feel about them. I love so many people in this world and I think very few know it. If you are reading this, I love you and I want you to know that.
More to come as I keep discovering.