- Best acceptance speech: Andre 3000, all 2 words
- Most overrated/overexposed/ostentatious artist of the year: Beyonce Knowles
- Cutest presenter: Miss Norah Jones, d'aw
- Appearances I could have done without: Hilary Duff and the shameless exploitation of her jailbait appeal with the babydoll/pink/bow number, Celine "Talented?" Dion, Beyonce, Paulina Rubio's "dress" y resulting boobage, Ashanti, Lil Kim
- Best performance of the evening: FUNKFEST [featuring none other than the Reverend Sam Jackson] Earth, Wind, & Fire, Outkast, Robert Randolph & the Family Band, and George Clinton & the Parliament Funkadelics
- Best hair: George Clinton, hands down
- Superfluous presence in a performance: Sean Paul, in Sting's performance of Roxanne
- Best introduction by a head: Jack Black
- Lifetime Achievement Award: Sonny Rollins
- Honorable mentions, performances, in order of appearance:
- Sting, Dave Matthews, Vince Gill, Pharrell - Beatles tribute
- The White Stripes
- The Black Eyed Peas
- Outkast and the USC marching band
[Totally counts as an update, woot]