if these walls could talk-they would have nothing to tell...
hey there kids. felt like writing some random thoughts, need to clear my head. friday was great, crap loads of fun and games with the ladies, thanks guys. had to wake up early yesterday to go to daddy's house. just drive around (dad knows how much i love just cruising around town) and then spent the rest of the day just chilling out. last night was so confusing.. as is everyday it seems lately.. i don't know what to do about anything anymore. i'm so damn lost and i feel so alone. wtf does HE have to be confused about!? ugh.. i just want to start a new life, one where i can forget everything and just create a lifetime full of happy memories, instead of memories that haunt my thought and my dreams. heh, you know as well as i do that won't happen, but hey it's nice to wish, isn't it? personally, i'm getting so fucking tired of wishing. wishing just seems to make me more weak and vulnerable when it comes to my heart and mind. sometimes i feel like i have no one to turn to at all.. more now than ever. there's so much i want to scream and tell the world, but i know no one would understand, and even if by some miracle they did, they wouldn't care. that's how the world works, no one cares in the end. everyone's out for themselves. or, maybe i'm just being a cynical bitch.. yeah, that's probably it. go head, tell me that i'll be happy and how lucky i am. but you don't know, you have no idea what it's like. and for that i applaude you. at this point, all i want is to be full. i want the holes in my weary heart to feel alive again. i don't want to be alone anymore. i'm so afraid of being alone.