(no subject)
Im going back into that deep hole.....
And it sucks. My life has decided to just fuck up. My "friends" are being jerks.. they act like they care but dont. I told one of them why I hate working at the job I have because she works there also and she said "Well quit then.." Hmm yeah thanks buddy... not exactly what i wanted to hear. Or she asked why I havent gone to school in three days.. I said I had a lot of shit on my mind and didnt want school to stress me out and she never asked what was wrong and asked if Monday I'd be back after "thinking". What the fuck? I basically say something is wrong... and she doesnt care. *Sigh* I wish I had good friends.. I honestly do. But I dont. The people I talk to at school.. are simply that. And they fucking ratted me out to the school psycholgist and shit about my cutting and depression. Which I wouldnt be so pissed about but they dont care.. they just ratted me out and that was it. They didnt take any further steps.. never ask if Im okay and they sure as fuck dont ever hang out with me when I make it clear I want to or suggest it. And my friend Destiny who I saw Wednesday.. well her mom hates me now so fuck me ever being able to go over there and hang out with her. Yeah so having friends to go to in my time of need.. totally outta the picture.
And I hate my job as I described. I've been there a week and it seems like years. I wish I could quit. But yeah maybe they are testing me but damn it, I've got enough shit on my mind.... and I dont need their bullshit. But quitting a job after a week will not look good on a resume.
I miss love.... I miss having someone and its nawing at me right now. The guy I am in love with.... he's frigging gone. Farewell to him because the Navy has him so there basically is no chance of us being together. Which is by far the most depressing thought of all time. Because he is my best friend, he knows me more then anyone, I tell him everything, and he simply loves me.. good and bad. And he's exactly what I need.... and I lost him. And oh yeah, another guy in the picture but he just got out of a long relationship... so "Time will tell" is all Im getting told. Ahhh what the fuck? Im so great so why dont you want me, huh? Im confused.
Falling apart and it sucks.....
And it sucks. My life has decided to just fuck up. My "friends" are being jerks.. they act like they care but dont. I told one of them why I hate working at the job I have because she works there also and she said "Well quit then.." Hmm yeah thanks buddy... not exactly what i wanted to hear. Or she asked why I havent gone to school in three days.. I said I had a lot of shit on my mind and didnt want school to stress me out and she never asked what was wrong and asked if Monday I'd be back after "thinking". What the fuck? I basically say something is wrong... and she doesnt care. *Sigh* I wish I had good friends.. I honestly do. But I dont. The people I talk to at school.. are simply that. And they fucking ratted me out to the school psycholgist and shit about my cutting and depression. Which I wouldnt be so pissed about but they dont care.. they just ratted me out and that was it. They didnt take any further steps.. never ask if Im okay and they sure as fuck dont ever hang out with me when I make it clear I want to or suggest it. And my friend Destiny who I saw Wednesday.. well her mom hates me now so fuck me ever being able to go over there and hang out with her. Yeah so having friends to go to in my time of need.. totally outta the picture.
And I hate my job as I described. I've been there a week and it seems like years. I wish I could quit. But yeah maybe they are testing me but damn it, I've got enough shit on my mind.... and I dont need their bullshit. But quitting a job after a week will not look good on a resume.
I miss love.... I miss having someone and its nawing at me right now. The guy I am in love with.... he's frigging gone. Farewell to him because the Navy has him so there basically is no chance of us being together. Which is by far the most depressing thought of all time. Because he is my best friend, he knows me more then anyone, I tell him everything, and he simply loves me.. good and bad. And he's exactly what I need.... and I lost him. And oh yeah, another guy in the picture but he just got out of a long relationship... so "Time will tell" is all Im getting told. Ahhh what the fuck? Im so great so why dont you want me, huh? Im confused.
Falling apart and it sucks.....