Such wasted time
Feeling quite blah recently. I don't know what it is. Maybe I've just become too complacent with my life. I feel like I'm not living my life to the fullest and that when I look back in my old age I will feel like I didn't live enough....
I think it partly has to do with the fact that Cory goes on all the time about how I'm the most cautious person he's ever met and that I won't take a chance on anything. I mean, what's wrong really with making sure that no one will get my SSN or my debit card number? After all, my step-mom did get her idenity stolen, so it could easily happen to me. And yeah, maybe I am afraid of skydiving and therefore refuse to go with him, but does that make me cautious? I get an adrenaline rush from riding roller coasters, why do I need to skydive?
My complaceny also stems from the fact that I realized about yesterday that my summer is almost over and I didn't do any of the things I wanted to do. I told myself I was going to catch up with people I didn't spend a lot of time with last semester, namely Liz and Anna, and also people like Suzanne and Ashley. But I didn't. All my time has been spent either at home, at work, at Cory's, or when he wasn't in town, at Derek's. I haven't DONE anything. It feels like such wasted time. I mean, I wasn't even taking classes and it felt so weird to have everyone else talk about school work and me not having any to do. Frustrating at the same time, because I could feel my uselessness.
I guess I just feel like I need to do something with myself. Go out and live a little or something. But how do I know how to do that when I don't know where to start?