...xxx don't know how to feel about this xxx...
// Sitting here at home in Saskatchewan and found out some interesting information about an ex of mine that he's finally tying the knot in four months. A shocker to me after always being one of those, "I'm never going to get married," type of guys.
This was a man I went out with back in 2003/2004 who completely shattered my heart to bits. One of those "breakup over the phone" type of situations when I was back home in SK during the summer of 2004 for the university break. I was absolutely devastated at the time because I loved his family and friends and was just as sad I would be losing contact with them as with him.
Fast-forward to the fall of 2004 when I was back to University. This was the school year of meeting all of my new and awesome LJ friends who I still have to this day ;) (love you all and I don't say this enough) but this was a tough time of transitions. I had just lost the majority of my high school friends in university due to my bitch of a roommate who made my life a living hell and used her aunt (head honcho in university housing) to pretty much force me to move to a different suite with a month left to go in the spring semester of the previous school year.
This man was still around and invited me over the moment I got back in the fall. He proceeded to toy with me, rip my heart into a million pieces many times, stated he was dating other girls just to make me jealous and to get over me and proceeded once to pretty much rape me one night. It's a hard sentence to write, but I've pretty much come to terms with the fact that it is the truth after so many years. I also know he has cheated on every girlfriend he's had since. One of those whole, "I shouldn't love you and I should hate your guts instead," but at one point in time they're always the nicest guy in the world.
Other odd weird story is he introduced me to Quinton for the first time. Q has always joked in the past that he blames some of our troubles we've had for a long while on being introduced by the ex - in some ways I think he is right. Which is why I decided to do what I did next.
After watching Bridesmaids last night (funny movie to have an epiphany with) and relating a certain male character to the feeling of being used and abused and then a shining white knight cop coming into the picture, I've finally severed all online ties with him. I still have his family as friends on the good old Facebook, but I've finally found some shreds of courage to say remaining his "friend" is just a big old waste of my time.
It hurts losing the good memories of someone and trying to forget, but I think that is the only way to forget the bad memories as well and to move forward. Need a bit of moving onwards and hopefully upwards at this point as I feel I'm stalled and I need to let go of the past memories to change for the better.
This was a man I went out with back in 2003/2004 who completely shattered my heart to bits. One of those "breakup over the phone" type of situations when I was back home in SK during the summer of 2004 for the university break. I was absolutely devastated at the time because I loved his family and friends and was just as sad I would be losing contact with them as with him.
Fast-forward to the fall of 2004 when I was back to University. This was the school year of meeting all of my new and awesome LJ friends who I still have to this day ;) (love you all and I don't say this enough) but this was a tough time of transitions. I had just lost the majority of my high school friends in university due to my bitch of a roommate who made my life a living hell and used her aunt (head honcho in university housing) to pretty much force me to move to a different suite with a month left to go in the spring semester of the previous school year.
This man was still around and invited me over the moment I got back in the fall. He proceeded to toy with me, rip my heart into a million pieces many times, stated he was dating other girls just to make me jealous and to get over me and proceeded once to pretty much rape me one night. It's a hard sentence to write, but I've pretty much come to terms with the fact that it is the truth after so many years. I also know he has cheated on every girlfriend he's had since. One of those whole, "I shouldn't love you and I should hate your guts instead," but at one point in time they're always the nicest guy in the world.
Other odd weird story is he introduced me to Quinton for the first time. Q has always joked in the past that he blames some of our troubles we've had for a long while on being introduced by the ex - in some ways I think he is right. Which is why I decided to do what I did next.
After watching Bridesmaids last night (funny movie to have an epiphany with) and relating a certain male character to the feeling of being used and abused and then a shining white knight cop coming into the picture, I've finally severed all online ties with him. I still have his family as friends on the good old Facebook, but I've finally found some shreds of courage to say remaining his "friend" is just a big old waste of my time.
It hurts losing the good memories of someone and trying to forget, but I think that is the only way to forget the bad memories as well and to move forward. Need a bit of moving onwards and hopefully upwards at this point as I feel I'm stalled and I need to let go of the past memories to change for the better.