$175 is a small price to pay to function...
My brain is a total clusterfuck right now. I can't even begin to interpret the thoughts that are going on in my mind. I'm pretty damn depressed, and it sucks a lot more than I can remember. I was on medication for 3 months, and I felt fine, but then my mother got a new job and my insurance was gone. I looked up quotes for my own insurance, but unfortunately they wanted money upfront. I decided to just try and wait out the summer until the new year of student health insurance was available. Well, here I am and that didn't work out too well.
I noticed last week that I was manic. I mean, I drove for 2 hours with my windows down, my music all the way up, and I smoked upwards of 10 cigarettes manic. I couldn't sit still in class, and I was very, very irritable. I tried ignoring it. I guess I was just hoping that in the course of the summer, I would be fine and that this was all in my head. Turns out I was wrong.
Now, today I totally crashed. I couldn't get out of bed. I had class at 9 am. I had 8.5 hours of sleep when it was time to wake up. I couldn't do it. I stared at the clock for a few minutes and said "fuck it." Thankfully I e-mailed my professor with a decent lie (my car has a large dent in the hood, so a rear ending didn't seem like something I wouldn't be able to justify). He excused me. If I hadn't been able to get an excused absence, then I would have lost all my participation points for the class, leaving me struggling to avoid a C in the class. Not a good thing.
I decided to go pay full price for my prescription today, 175 dollars. I guess it's a small price to pay to be able to function. I feel so debilitated right now. I've been tired all day. I've been so uninterested in everything. I'm just dead right now. So, we'll see if I feel better soon. I'm hoping it doesn't take the full 14-28 days to take effect again.
I noticed last week that I was manic. I mean, I drove for 2 hours with my windows down, my music all the way up, and I smoked upwards of 10 cigarettes manic. I couldn't sit still in class, and I was very, very irritable. I tried ignoring it. I guess I was just hoping that in the course of the summer, I would be fine and that this was all in my head. Turns out I was wrong.
Now, today I totally crashed. I couldn't get out of bed. I had class at 9 am. I had 8.5 hours of sleep when it was time to wake up. I couldn't do it. I stared at the clock for a few minutes and said "fuck it." Thankfully I e-mailed my professor with a decent lie (my car has a large dent in the hood, so a rear ending didn't seem like something I wouldn't be able to justify). He excused me. If I hadn't been able to get an excused absence, then I would have lost all my participation points for the class, leaving me struggling to avoid a C in the class. Not a good thing.
I decided to go pay full price for my prescription today, 175 dollars. I guess it's a small price to pay to be able to function. I feel so debilitated right now. I've been tired all day. I've been so uninterested in everything. I'm just dead right now. So, we'll see if I feel better soon. I'm hoping it doesn't take the full 14-28 days to take effect again.