Reality Check.
I'm 23 and I have yet to experience a family death. Aside from Bandit, of course, which has thus-far been the most tragic event in my lifetime. But this is rough.. Especially since it hasn't happened yet, but even more because it's so unfair.
My poor Grandmother has done nothing but give and be the kindest and most caring woman. She didn't smoke, but everyone around her did.. Then she's the one who gets lung cancer. It angers me.. I'm mad at the world.
It's one thing to lose a grandparent, but it's worse when it's a drawn out nightmare. I have watched her suffer for the past year. The chemo did nothing but make matters worse. She went from being able to get up and walk around to being bed-ridden and unable to breath, all in just the matter of a year. A Year.
I think about my Grandfather. I think about my father. I think about my aunts. I think about my Grandmother most, laying in her bed in the hospice, knowing her days are numbered. She told my father she didn't want to die. I'm certain she's terrified. I'm terrified for her.