slight procrastination
"Story of my life - I thought it was marble and it turned out to be plastic."
"When horses speak, you'd better listen."
"Genevieve, patron saint of lost pixies."
"Nature suffers a bit to make the comparative work, I suppose."
"I'm damn near Mary-fucking-Poppins on a broom!"
"What's this about cranes fighting with Pygmies?"
"I slept with Satan."
"I've been talking all damn day and I still can't speak fucking English!"
"Build a bridge, get into heaven."
"Where's Calvary?"
"Canada."
"No animals were injured in the making of this epic."
"My fuck-up is your fuck-up's best friend!"
"I would download some porn, but I'm afraid of STDs."
"Satan can go to Hell! ...nevermind, you know what I mean..."
"Victory is at hand... Literally." (speaking of Athena Nike)
"Strawberries and ammonia. Reminds me of the good old days."
"What do you call it when an Egyptian cat eats a Roman sparrow? A lesbian relationship!"
"I can't just have another man's wolf lying around."
"If I had a dick, Latin could suck it."
"Just one more path down the step of experience."
"I've seen you stick sour cream up your nose, I don't care about your stretch marks."
"I wasn't part of the present, but I thought I could be part of the future. Now it seems I'm just part of the past."
"You need a mental enema."
"Jesus, Beth! What is this, the Iliad according to Jay and Silent Bob?"
"I think he's fucked up in the head. I hope he meets a nice fucked-up-in-the-head girl and they have lots of little fucked-up-in-the-head babies."
"The key! The key, you moron! It's two feet to your left!"
"Our lives aren't even a 'series of unfortunate events', they're a series of bloody inconvenient times."
"Bridesmaid of Satan."
"Oh my god. He loves me so much... Shit!"
"I guess I should take the phone out of my bra."