The Last Month
I moved a month ago.
Not very far. In fact, I kinda came full circle from where I was 5 years ago. From June 2012 to June 2013 I lived in SW Portland amid separation, divorce, and rebuilding before ultimately moving back to the same suburb I'd lived in while married so that my ex and I could split time with our boys 50/50. With my younger son graduating this year and heading off to college in the fall I let my suburban lease expire and a month ago moved closer to work and to my girlfriend of 2 years.
It has been a good change, though I miss having my kiddo (he is living with his Mom full time until he finishes up high school in a few weeks) with me half the time. Hopefully he'll stay with me a bit this summer, though I understand wanting to be closer to his friends during the proverbial "last summer" before they all go on to their next thing. In many ways the way I am living right now is how it is going to be the majority of the time once he moves in to his dorm in mid-September.
Living closer to Allison (my girlfriend) and our shared puppy has been really nice. The 20-30 minute drive each way to her house from my old place had never really bothered me but obviously living about 5 minutes from her now and considerably closer to work has been great. Couple that with my new place being about 15 percent cheaper per month in rent and it makes for a welcome savings in both time and money. We briefly considered just having me move in with her and her son (he is 11) but this first month living closer has served to let us know I/we made the right call. I see a lot more of both of them and it's been very good but I think the poor kid would have had a bumpy transition if I had started living there full time. He is with his father about 40 percent of the time but even with that factored in it would be a disruption for him and I don't want to be a part of that if I can help it. Mind you, I have days where I want to marry Allison more than anything in the world but I really love and care about her son, too, and the current dynamic feels like the right one.
I also have rediscovered how much I value my solo time. I've always had some of it (during my son's weeks with his Mom) but over the last month it's been a case where if I am not with Allison and the puppy (and her kiddo) I am at my new place alone. And that has been rather grand. Except when it's not. Like if I am lonely or wish one of my sons would drop by but the majority of the time I like just having the quiet. I like that I slashed 25-30 minutes each way off my commute to work and that means I get more sleep. I love that the gym I joined is en route to work. In short, I am close to everything that is a frequent part of my life: Allison, work, my friends, things I like to do in Portland. The only thing I am farther from is my sons. And that sucks. But it was inevitable. They're growing up and creating their own lives. As much as I miss them there is an incredible joy and and excitement that comes with knowing that my oldest just got back from 3 weeks on a study abroad program and had what he calls "the most amazing experience" of his life. I am psyched for my younger son's pending departure to the University of Oregon and how he is going to get the chance to plant his feet in an Oregon city no one in his immediate family has lived in before.
So basically the last 30 days have been the start of a new chapter, just as my first move to SW PDX was the beginning of something new 6 years ago. Except this time the new chapters both for me and my sons are coming with less hiccups, heartbreak, and tricky transitions. This time around it is a start of far more positive things. By this time next year, when my younger will be getting ready to finish up his first year at college and my older will be finishing his last year, everything is going to be so different. Such grand changes used to scare me. They don't anymore. All I feel these days is excitement... with a small side of bittersweet.
J
Not very far. In fact, I kinda came full circle from where I was 5 years ago. From June 2012 to June 2013 I lived in SW Portland amid separation, divorce, and rebuilding before ultimately moving back to the same suburb I'd lived in while married so that my ex and I could split time with our boys 50/50. With my younger son graduating this year and heading off to college in the fall I let my suburban lease expire and a month ago moved closer to work and to my girlfriend of 2 years.
It has been a good change, though I miss having my kiddo (he is living with his Mom full time until he finishes up high school in a few weeks) with me half the time. Hopefully he'll stay with me a bit this summer, though I understand wanting to be closer to his friends during the proverbial "last summer" before they all go on to their next thing. In many ways the way I am living right now is how it is going to be the majority of the time once he moves in to his dorm in mid-September.
Living closer to Allison (my girlfriend) and our shared puppy has been really nice. The 20-30 minute drive each way to her house from my old place had never really bothered me but obviously living about 5 minutes from her now and considerably closer to work has been great. Couple that with my new place being about 15 percent cheaper per month in rent and it makes for a welcome savings in both time and money. We briefly considered just having me move in with her and her son (he is 11) but this first month living closer has served to let us know I/we made the right call. I see a lot more of both of them and it's been very good but I think the poor kid would have had a bumpy transition if I had started living there full time. He is with his father about 40 percent of the time but even with that factored in it would be a disruption for him and I don't want to be a part of that if I can help it. Mind you, I have days where I want to marry Allison more than anything in the world but I really love and care about her son, too, and the current dynamic feels like the right one.
I also have rediscovered how much I value my solo time. I've always had some of it (during my son's weeks with his Mom) but over the last month it's been a case where if I am not with Allison and the puppy (and her kiddo) I am at my new place alone. And that has been rather grand. Except when it's not. Like if I am lonely or wish one of my sons would drop by but the majority of the time I like just having the quiet. I like that I slashed 25-30 minutes each way off my commute to work and that means I get more sleep. I love that the gym I joined is en route to work. In short, I am close to everything that is a frequent part of my life: Allison, work, my friends, things I like to do in Portland. The only thing I am farther from is my sons. And that sucks. But it was inevitable. They're growing up and creating their own lives. As much as I miss them there is an incredible joy and and excitement that comes with knowing that my oldest just got back from 3 weeks on a study abroad program and had what he calls "the most amazing experience" of his life. I am psyched for my younger son's pending departure to the University of Oregon and how he is going to get the chance to plant his feet in an Oregon city no one in his immediate family has lived in before.
So basically the last 30 days have been the start of a new chapter, just as my first move to SW PDX was the beginning of something new 6 years ago. Except this time the new chapters both for me and my sons are coming with less hiccups, heartbreak, and tricky transitions. This time around it is a start of far more positive things. By this time next year, when my younger will be getting ready to finish up his first year at college and my older will be finishing his last year, everything is going to be so different. Such grand changes used to scare me. They don't anymore. All I feel these days is excitement... with a small side of bittersweet.
J