Thousands of Days
So let me see for a second, my love, what I can remember of this night 10 years ago and the big day that followed.
I remember taking a winter term final in the morning, though I can't remember for what course. I remember driving over to the coast and being happy that I was going to see you for the first time in over a week. Everything felt so empty without you; the rental house I had once shared with a roommate but would soon share with you; my bed that would soon become our bed; and my heart felt lonely, but not empty. It had not been empty in a long time, not since the day I mustered the courage to ask and you had the foolishness to say "Yes".
I remember checking in to the hotel and seeing dozens of relatives, many of whom had not seen me in years. A few didn't even recognized me when I waved to them. I remember going to rehearsal and how long it lasted, with my brother whispering in my ear about the pastor ("Where did you find this nut?") and our ring bearer going insane with boredom. He was what? Age 4 or 5? Hard to believe that kid will be driving soon. And I remember that I was starving by the time we got to the dinner, but how well everyone was getting along and getting to know one another. I remember how you cried when you toasted and talked about your parents. It was very you, and a reminder of all things I love so much.
I remember that you had to go back to the rented hall to finish decorating, thanks in part to our pastor who dragged everything out so long in the rehearsal. I stayed at the restaurant and when one of my groomsmen joined the lounge band to sing "Fly Me To The Moon" I knew it was a moment I would always wish you'd been present for. I remember my brother making sure I drank plenty of water as he and the others fed me drinks. "No hangovers on your wedding day."
Now let's see what I recall of the day...
I remember getting ready and one of my groomsmen (the same crooner from the night before) asking me if I was nervous. I held up my hand, steady as can be, and said "No." And the question really made me laugh because the thought of being with you for the rest of my life was never a nervous thought. It was a comfort. Everything else that would come next scared me: Graduating college, trying to find a good job, some day having children...all of those things made me nervous but knowing I would see those moments with you made me look forward to them just the same. You were then and remain today my comfort, my peace, and my assurance that everything that happens will be. And on my good days I try to provide the same things for you. No one is keeping score but if they were you'd be up in this, our 10th Period, by a healthy margin. I've got work to do and goals to score in the periods ahead, so hold me to that, ok? I want to be your All-Star!
I remember standing on that stage and just waiting. Waiting to see you. And everybody says this about the bride but in your case it really was true: I've never seen anyone look so beautiful. So even when our increasingly annoying pastor went on too long, plugging his own church that no one in attendance would ever visit...even when he semi-botched the vows we'd written for each other... I remember it still, and none of that other stuff bothers me. It happened so quick and the days and hours leading up to the moment were so crazy that sometimes I forget the minute details. But I'll never forget how I felt knowing I would hold this hand for the rest of my days. I would kiss this person at least once a day every day we're together. I will share everything I own, everything I feel, every wish, every fear....all of it and then some...with you. That made "I Do" the two easiest words I ever spoke.
I remember the reception being a bit crowded. I remember that the religious nuts we put in charge of playing the music we'd brought intentionally played it at a low volume after they discovered our music was...gasp...secular! I remember that my brother's toast kind of sucked. Never one for speeches, I know, but I still think he was making it up on the spot. But it didn't matter that much. To tell you the truth, I was looking most forward to exiting. And when we finally did I was so excited... and you were so exhausted. So tired from the day, the night before decorating, the days before getting ready, and the months before planning. And you fell asleep in the car. The most beautiful person I ever met in my life was asleep in the passenger seat of our car. You... the lovely bride...my wife. Wow!
How did these hours and days since go by so fast? I think that is the thing that is knocking me out tonight. So I've been trying to trace the landmark moments of the years and here is what I most recall:
1995 - We get married, find work, and start our lives together. No money but a "couples freedom" I can't even imagine anymore.
1996 - On an early Spring walk with a Peach Slurpee in my hands you tell me we're going to be parents. Months later, B is born.
1997 - I get offered a job 3 hours north. I accept it with your complete blessing and we move. Income grows, apartment stays the same size. B walks on our first day there.
1998 - We finally "get ahead" and start saving money with visions of picket fences.
1999 - We buy our first home. There are no picket fences except the rusted, little broken one in the back. In the midst of the buying process we discover we'll need an extra room in the would-be house.
2000 - Our second beautiful boy, G, is born. Yeah! Bush gets (s)elected. NO!!
2001 - You turn 30. Big, fun party. Avs win the Cup! B starts preschool. Days later the whole world changes. We travel to my high school reunion and you are my "suit of armor" against all my stupid ghosts.
2002 - You throw me a surprise "29 Forever" party. I'm sure something else happened that year but I don't remember.
2003 - I turn 30. We hit Las Vegas. We're both old so we get a Minivan.
2004 - G starts preschool and I get a nice raise. As such, Christmas is fun and our futures look bright.
2005 - We plan to sell our home and find something new. But sale or no sale, picket fence or no fence, it's all fine with me...as long as there is still you, still us...
And with all that in mind here is a final reference only you will get: "10 years....got that out of the way."
J
I remember taking a winter term final in the morning, though I can't remember for what course. I remember driving over to the coast and being happy that I was going to see you for the first time in over a week. Everything felt so empty without you; the rental house I had once shared with a roommate but would soon share with you; my bed that would soon become our bed; and my heart felt lonely, but not empty. It had not been empty in a long time, not since the day I mustered the courage to ask and you had the foolishness to say "Yes".
I remember checking in to the hotel and seeing dozens of relatives, many of whom had not seen me in years. A few didn't even recognized me when I waved to them. I remember going to rehearsal and how long it lasted, with my brother whispering in my ear about the pastor ("Where did you find this nut?") and our ring bearer going insane with boredom. He was what? Age 4 or 5? Hard to believe that kid will be driving soon. And I remember that I was starving by the time we got to the dinner, but how well everyone was getting along and getting to know one another. I remember how you cried when you toasted and talked about your parents. It was very you, and a reminder of all things I love so much.
I remember that you had to go back to the rented hall to finish decorating, thanks in part to our pastor who dragged everything out so long in the rehearsal. I stayed at the restaurant and when one of my groomsmen joined the lounge band to sing "Fly Me To The Moon" I knew it was a moment I would always wish you'd been present for. I remember my brother making sure I drank plenty of water as he and the others fed me drinks. "No hangovers on your wedding day."
Now let's see what I recall of the day...
I remember getting ready and one of my groomsmen (the same crooner from the night before) asking me if I was nervous. I held up my hand, steady as can be, and said "No." And the question really made me laugh because the thought of being with you for the rest of my life was never a nervous thought. It was a comfort. Everything else that would come next scared me: Graduating college, trying to find a good job, some day having children...all of those things made me nervous but knowing I would see those moments with you made me look forward to them just the same. You were then and remain today my comfort, my peace, and my assurance that everything that happens will be. And on my good days I try to provide the same things for you. No one is keeping score but if they were you'd be up in this, our 10th Period, by a healthy margin. I've got work to do and goals to score in the periods ahead, so hold me to that, ok? I want to be your All-Star!
I remember standing on that stage and just waiting. Waiting to see you. And everybody says this about the bride but in your case it really was true: I've never seen anyone look so beautiful. So even when our increasingly annoying pastor went on too long, plugging his own church that no one in attendance would ever visit...even when he semi-botched the vows we'd written for each other... I remember it still, and none of that other stuff bothers me. It happened so quick and the days and hours leading up to the moment were so crazy that sometimes I forget the minute details. But I'll never forget how I felt knowing I would hold this hand for the rest of my days. I would kiss this person at least once a day every day we're together. I will share everything I own, everything I feel, every wish, every fear....all of it and then some...with you. That made "I Do" the two easiest words I ever spoke.
I remember the reception being a bit crowded. I remember that the religious nuts we put in charge of playing the music we'd brought intentionally played it at a low volume after they discovered our music was...gasp...secular! I remember that my brother's toast kind of sucked. Never one for speeches, I know, but I still think he was making it up on the spot. But it didn't matter that much. To tell you the truth, I was looking most forward to exiting. And when we finally did I was so excited... and you were so exhausted. So tired from the day, the night before decorating, the days before getting ready, and the months before planning. And you fell asleep in the car. The most beautiful person I ever met in my life was asleep in the passenger seat of our car. You... the lovely bride...my wife. Wow!
How did these hours and days since go by so fast? I think that is the thing that is knocking me out tonight. So I've been trying to trace the landmark moments of the years and here is what I most recall:
1995 - We get married, find work, and start our lives together. No money but a "couples freedom" I can't even imagine anymore.
1996 - On an early Spring walk with a Peach Slurpee in my hands you tell me we're going to be parents. Months later, B is born.
1997 - I get offered a job 3 hours north. I accept it with your complete blessing and we move. Income grows, apartment stays the same size. B walks on our first day there.
1998 - We finally "get ahead" and start saving money with visions of picket fences.
1999 - We buy our first home. There are no picket fences except the rusted, little broken one in the back. In the midst of the buying process we discover we'll need an extra room in the would-be house.
2000 - Our second beautiful boy, G, is born. Yeah! Bush gets (s)elected. NO!!
2001 - You turn 30. Big, fun party. Avs win the Cup! B starts preschool. Days later the whole world changes. We travel to my high school reunion and you are my "suit of armor" against all my stupid ghosts.
2002 - You throw me a surprise "29 Forever" party. I'm sure something else happened that year but I don't remember.
2003 - I turn 30. We hit Las Vegas. We're both old so we get a Minivan.
2004 - G starts preschool and I get a nice raise. As such, Christmas is fun and our futures look bright.
2005 - We plan to sell our home and find something new. But sale or no sale, picket fence or no fence, it's all fine with me...as long as there is still you, still us...
And with all that in mind here is a final reference only you will get: "10 years....got that out of the way."
J