Let's Break This Down, Shall We...
The "news" of the day... Jamie Lynn Spears, 16 year-old sister of fallen pop starley Britney Spears, is pregnant.
Here then is the AP article and my comments on it. Article in italics and my take in normal text.
NEW YORK (AP) - Jamie Lynn Spears, the 16-year-old "Zoey 101" star and sister of Britney, told OK! magazine that she's pregnant and that the father is her boyfriend, Casey Aldridge.
"It was a shock for both of us, so unexpected," she said. "I was in complete and total shock and so was he."
Yes, children... since you're both in "the biz" and probably never really attended health class or had sex education in a formal setting, let me break it down for you:
When your boyfriend puts his penis in your vagina and then ejaculates his sperm and your egg may meet and 9 months later (barring complications) a baby will come out of you. Even if your boyfriend is wearing a condom there is a chance the condom can break; if you're on birth control even that can fail.
Spears is 12 weeks along and initially kept the news to herself when she learned of the pregnancy from an at-home test and subsequent doctor visit, she told the celebrity magazine, which hits stands in New York on Wednesday and the rest of the country by Friday.
What message does she want to send to other teens about premarital sex? "I definitely don't think it's something you should do; it's better to wait," she told the magazine. "But I can't be judgmental because it's a position I put myself in."
Which position was that, babe? Missionary? Dog style? Reverse cowgirl?
This is the star of a TV show aimed at "tweeners"; those in the earliest stages or about to enter the earliest stages of puberty and a hormonal explosion that will last for... well, a pretty damn long time! Personally, I would hope kids who watch her show didn't think of her as a role model before this news and I certainly hope they don't now.
After she found out from a doctor that she was pregnant, she said, "I took two weeks to myself where I didn't tell anybody."
"Only one of my friends knew because I needed to work out what I would do for myself before I let anyone's opinion affect my decision. Then I told my parents and my friends. I was scared, but I had to do what was right for me," she said.
Spears broke the news to her mother, Lynne, just before Thanksgiving, the magazine reported.
"She was very upset because it wasn't what she expected at all," Spears said. "A week after, she had time to cope with it and became very supportive."
I would like to think that, at this point, very little could shock old Mama Spears. I mean, seriously... the marriage and then divorce of her older daughter to Vanilla Ice Version 2.0, the shaved head, the driving the car with the infant in her lap... I would think that if Jamie Lynne Spears came and told her mom that... I don't know... antlers were growing out of her ass that it still wouldn't come as a shock.
Lynne Spears, already grandmother to Britney's young sons, told the magazine: "I didn't believe it because Jamie Lynn's always been so conscientious. She's never late for her curfew. I was in shock. I mean, this is my 16-year-old baby."
Oh my God! She was never late for curfew. There is no way she could have been having sex because, seriously, it is only the kids who regularly break curfew, who do drugs, and carry a C-average that have sex as teenagers. The kids who are well-behaved, get good grades, regularly attend church, and never drink have a magical on/off switch on their hormones. The girls of this type can virtually shut their libidos off and the boys have detachable penises that they are wise enough to leave at home when they think it might get them in trouble. (Full disclosure: Yes, the detachable penis reference is from the song of the same name by King Missile.)
She said her actress daughter, the telegenic heroine of her popular Nickelodeon series, has known Aldridge for years and began dating him in high school.
But in a recent interview with The Associated Press, Spears said she had no steady boyfriend. "I kind of just keep my options open," she said. "I have a bunch of friends that I always hang out with, a bunch of guy friends." She declined to talk about her older sister.
Spears spoke to the AP shortly before Thanksgiving, the day she told OK! she informed her mother about the pregnancy.
Jamie Lynn plans to raise the baby in her home state of Louisiana "so it can have a normal family life."
Nickelodeon released a statement: "We respect Jamie Lynn's decision to take responsibility in this sensitive and personal situation. We know this is a very difficult time for her and her family, and our primary concern right now is for Jamie Lynn's well being."
A publicist for the network did not immediately respond to phone and e-mail requests for additional comment.
If the younger Spears daughter and Nickelodeon want to do the "right thing" they will respectively part ways, with the possible exception the network setting up a scholarship for her (or setting aside a fund for the future therapy sessions for the offspring of the Spears Daughters).
If Ms. Spears and the father of the child want to give their child a "normal life" they will give up their acting careers, pursue their education, and thank their lucky stars that they've earned a pretty good living up until now and have the resources available to them that other teen parents do not. Use that money and put it toward creating a stable environment and furthering your education.
I'm not here to criticize Ms. Spears for A) Finding herself pregnant, just as thousands of teen girls find themselves each year or B) For deciding to keep the child because that is so totally not my call or anyone else's. But I will say this: You've lost your role model privileges and please, please, God, oh please spare all of us any platitudes about how you never wanted to be a role model because, hi, you have a show aimed at kids that will, for better or worse, think you're cool and want to emulate you.
The thing that Ms. Spears and any other teen parent needs to recognize is this: Once you have a child your life, your dreams, and your aspirations all get to run a very distant second to what your child needs. This is a concept that is difficult for any of us, including adults, and it is especially hard for teenagers to grasp. It doesn't mean a teenager can't grow to be a good, responsible parent. But it will be tougher, simply because at 16 or 17 or younger your maturity level, life experiences, and perspective are not even close to being fully formed or reached.
Nickelodeon can do the right thing by politely severing ties and publicly encouraging this young woman to advance herself and do what is best for her child.
"Zoey 101" is scheduled to conclude its third season Jan. 4 with a cliffhanger episode in which Spears' character must decide whether to leave her fictional Pacific Coast Academy boarding school in California to join her parents in London.
The show is scheduled to resume in February, and its producer, Dan Schneider, has said filming on the fourth season has already been completed.
Nickelodeon should let the 3rd season finish and permanently shelf the 4th season. Zoey 101, as it was, should end. The PR nightmare is obvious.
************
EDIT: I forgot to add to my initial post that I recently read the book Slam by Nick Hornby (author of About a Boy, High Fidelity, etc.) and it is an excellent piece of work, tackling teen pregnancy head-on in an honest, humorous, non-judging way. Teenage boy who is "normal" and basically "good" and who worships Tony Hawk gets his girlfriend pregnant, she keeps it, and -- with Tony Hawk as sort of the Ghost of Christmas Future -- this young man, Sam, gets glimpses at his future. Its funny, its touching, and its honest.
The book won't stop a teenager from having sex but it would, I think, make them think seriously of the consequences. If you have a teenager or a tweener and need a last minute holiday gift or just a damn good book to put under the tree... look no further. Hornby has made an amazing leap into the "young adult" literature market with Slam and, holy crap, does this one just beg to made into a movie!
****************
Agree? Disagree? Think I'm out of line? Let me know...
J
Here then is the AP article and my comments on it. Article in italics and my take in normal text.
NEW YORK (AP) - Jamie Lynn Spears, the 16-year-old "Zoey 101" star and sister of Britney, told OK! magazine that she's pregnant and that the father is her boyfriend, Casey Aldridge.
"It was a shock for both of us, so unexpected," she said. "I was in complete and total shock and so was he."
Yes, children... since you're both in "the biz" and probably never really attended health class or had sex education in a formal setting, let me break it down for you:
When your boyfriend puts his penis in your vagina and then ejaculates his sperm and your egg may meet and 9 months later (barring complications) a baby will come out of you. Even if your boyfriend is wearing a condom there is a chance the condom can break; if you're on birth control even that can fail.
Spears is 12 weeks along and initially kept the news to herself when she learned of the pregnancy from an at-home test and subsequent doctor visit, she told the celebrity magazine, which hits stands in New York on Wednesday and the rest of the country by Friday.
What message does she want to send to other teens about premarital sex? "I definitely don't think it's something you should do; it's better to wait," she told the magazine. "But I can't be judgmental because it's a position I put myself in."
Which position was that, babe? Missionary? Dog style? Reverse cowgirl?
This is the star of a TV show aimed at "tweeners"; those in the earliest stages or about to enter the earliest stages of puberty and a hormonal explosion that will last for... well, a pretty damn long time! Personally, I would hope kids who watch her show didn't think of her as a role model before this news and I certainly hope they don't now.
After she found out from a doctor that she was pregnant, she said, "I took two weeks to myself where I didn't tell anybody."
"Only one of my friends knew because I needed to work out what I would do for myself before I let anyone's opinion affect my decision. Then I told my parents and my friends. I was scared, but I had to do what was right for me," she said.
Spears broke the news to her mother, Lynne, just before Thanksgiving, the magazine reported.
"She was very upset because it wasn't what she expected at all," Spears said. "A week after, she had time to cope with it and became very supportive."
I would like to think that, at this point, very little could shock old Mama Spears. I mean, seriously... the marriage and then divorce of her older daughter to Vanilla Ice Version 2.0, the shaved head, the driving the car with the infant in her lap... I would think that if Jamie Lynne Spears came and told her mom that... I don't know... antlers were growing out of her ass that it still wouldn't come as a shock.
Lynne Spears, already grandmother to Britney's young sons, told the magazine: "I didn't believe it because Jamie Lynn's always been so conscientious. She's never late for her curfew. I was in shock. I mean, this is my 16-year-old baby."
Oh my God! She was never late for curfew. There is no way she could have been having sex because, seriously, it is only the kids who regularly break curfew, who do drugs, and carry a C-average that have sex as teenagers. The kids who are well-behaved, get good grades, regularly attend church, and never drink have a magical on/off switch on their hormones. The girls of this type can virtually shut their libidos off and the boys have detachable penises that they are wise enough to leave at home when they think it might get them in trouble. (Full disclosure: Yes, the detachable penis reference is from the song of the same name by King Missile.)
She said her actress daughter, the telegenic heroine of her popular Nickelodeon series, has known Aldridge for years and began dating him in high school.
But in a recent interview with The Associated Press, Spears said she had no steady boyfriend. "I kind of just keep my options open," she said. "I have a bunch of friends that I always hang out with, a bunch of guy friends." She declined to talk about her older sister.
Spears spoke to the AP shortly before Thanksgiving, the day she told OK! she informed her mother about the pregnancy.
Jamie Lynn plans to raise the baby in her home state of Louisiana "so it can have a normal family life."
Nickelodeon released a statement: "We respect Jamie Lynn's decision to take responsibility in this sensitive and personal situation. We know this is a very difficult time for her and her family, and our primary concern right now is for Jamie Lynn's well being."
A publicist for the network did not immediately respond to phone and e-mail requests for additional comment.
If the younger Spears daughter and Nickelodeon want to do the "right thing" they will respectively part ways, with the possible exception the network setting up a scholarship for her (or setting aside a fund for the future therapy sessions for the offspring of the Spears Daughters).
If Ms. Spears and the father of the child want to give their child a "normal life" they will give up their acting careers, pursue their education, and thank their lucky stars that they've earned a pretty good living up until now and have the resources available to them that other teen parents do not. Use that money and put it toward creating a stable environment and furthering your education.
I'm not here to criticize Ms. Spears for A) Finding herself pregnant, just as thousands of teen girls find themselves each year or B) For deciding to keep the child because that is so totally not my call or anyone else's. But I will say this: You've lost your role model privileges and please, please, God, oh please spare all of us any platitudes about how you never wanted to be a role model because, hi, you have a show aimed at kids that will, for better or worse, think you're cool and want to emulate you.
The thing that Ms. Spears and any other teen parent needs to recognize is this: Once you have a child your life, your dreams, and your aspirations all get to run a very distant second to what your child needs. This is a concept that is difficult for any of us, including adults, and it is especially hard for teenagers to grasp. It doesn't mean a teenager can't grow to be a good, responsible parent. But it will be tougher, simply because at 16 or 17 or younger your maturity level, life experiences, and perspective are not even close to being fully formed or reached.
Nickelodeon can do the right thing by politely severing ties and publicly encouraging this young woman to advance herself and do what is best for her child.
"Zoey 101" is scheduled to conclude its third season Jan. 4 with a cliffhanger episode in which Spears' character must decide whether to leave her fictional Pacific Coast Academy boarding school in California to join her parents in London.
The show is scheduled to resume in February, and its producer, Dan Schneider, has said filming on the fourth season has already been completed.
Nickelodeon should let the 3rd season finish and permanently shelf the 4th season. Zoey 101, as it was, should end. The PR nightmare is obvious.
************
EDIT: I forgot to add to my initial post that I recently read the book Slam by Nick Hornby (author of About a Boy, High Fidelity, etc.) and it is an excellent piece of work, tackling teen pregnancy head-on in an honest, humorous, non-judging way. Teenage boy who is "normal" and basically "good" and who worships Tony Hawk gets his girlfriend pregnant, she keeps it, and -- with Tony Hawk as sort of the Ghost of Christmas Future -- this young man, Sam, gets glimpses at his future. Its funny, its touching, and its honest.
The book won't stop a teenager from having sex but it would, I think, make them think seriously of the consequences. If you have a teenager or a tweener and need a last minute holiday gift or just a damn good book to put under the tree... look no further. Hornby has made an amazing leap into the "young adult" literature market with Slam and, holy crap, does this one just beg to made into a movie!
****************
Agree? Disagree? Think I'm out of line? Let me know...
J