so shocking where's your sense
The bath I take as soon as I get home must've lasted for hours. I keep draining the tub partially and filling it up again so the water wouldn't get cold. I think I fell asleep at one point, so I climb out and head to bed so I wouldn't drown, 'cause this would be a bad time in my life to drown. But once in bed, I can't sleep. I just lay there,
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Everything I've done to her has been wrong, I reckon. But not wrong enough for me to stop. Just wrong enough to bother me a little. I'm not a good enough man to do the right thing... And I've lost a lot of what made me bad enough not to care about things like this. I shouldn't have a conscience... But I always have when it comes to the Summers women.
"I'll walk you," I say, making my voice as gentle as possible. We step out into the darkness, and I can smell the coming daylight. The air is thinning out into greyness.
The walk is silent. I don't know what the say. Her "I love you" is hanging over our heads and I don't reckon either of us are equipped to deal with it. Maybe speaking during sex should be impossible. People always say stuff during it that they shouldn't. I dunno if she meant it, or if it was just passion. And if she did mean it, what then?
I don't know. So, in typical fashion, I ignore it.
We stand on her doorstep. I've got maybe half an hour now to get home before it's light. Good excuse for avoiding discussion, anyway.
"Make sure you get some sleep, pet," I say softly. "You should still go to school tomorrow. Well, after lunch time anyway." I grin a little, because my attempts to be authoritative in the realms of schooling aren't much cop. I lean in and cup her cheek with my hand.
"Night, pet," I say, and I brush her lips with mine, more gently than any other time tonight.
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