Male Self Esteem
It's not talked about much, but men have bouts of depression over self esteem issues, too.
Several months back, a friend and I started going to the gym on a pretty regular basis. We'd go a couple times a week, and we did this for around 3 months. I was starting to feel really good. And then real life (tm) happened. He got busy with other things. I got busy with theatre and other things. My work schedule changed. His work schedule changed. In the short end of it...it's been about 2 months since we've gone to the gym.
I've been wanting to go again, but to one closer to me. Meg and I tried the CoC one close by, but it's pretty horrible. The one my friend and I went to is around an hour drive away with traffic. Even without, it's about a half hour away. Just too far to go after work.
Meg and I had been talking about going to the one that's less than 10 blocks away from here, but never really found the time to do so...until Meg won a free 10 day pass for 2 to it. So we go and get the spiel, and I start to think that it'll be good to have a membership here, where, if I'm feeling bored, I can drive 5 minutes to the gym or (when it's warmer) walk the 25 minutes or so it'd take.
As part of the membership fees, you get 2 free sessions with a personal trainer. One is a 'getting to know you' sort of meeting, and the second is a walkthrough workout designed for you by the trainer based on the first session. I go for my first session tomorrow. As I was sweating away on the bike today, i was thinking about what I'd talk to the trainer about.
See, I've already been up front with the person telling us about the gym that my main reason was that I wanted to look better. That's really it. I want to be more in shape. When I play street hockey, I want to be able to run end to end a couple times, not just kind of hang out around the center line and burst up or down as needed.
I was mulling it all over in my head as I ground out an hour on the bike, and as I was peddling, the thought came unbidden to me: "I just want to stop looking like me."
I thought about it for a bit, wondering where this particular bit of self-loathing came from, and it occurred to me that it's the sort of thing that everyone does to themselves. I can't see myself through other folks eyes (I am generally glad for this...) so the only eyes I see myself through are mine. And mine don't see the definition in my arms and legs. All my eyes see are my round, chubby face, and my pot belly. That's it, according to me. That's my sum total. My torso and face.
It's not very realistic, of course. But it's there. And now, it's time to work on it in a positive manner. I'm kind of excited about this meeting tomorrow. It feels like it's really time to take charge of my appearance and actually take it in the direction I want to go.
Here's hoping.
Several months back, a friend and I started going to the gym on a pretty regular basis. We'd go a couple times a week, and we did this for around 3 months. I was starting to feel really good. And then real life (tm) happened. He got busy with other things. I got busy with theatre and other things. My work schedule changed. His work schedule changed. In the short end of it...it's been about 2 months since we've gone to the gym.
I've been wanting to go again, but to one closer to me. Meg and I tried the CoC one close by, but it's pretty horrible. The one my friend and I went to is around an hour drive away with traffic. Even without, it's about a half hour away. Just too far to go after work.
Meg and I had been talking about going to the one that's less than 10 blocks away from here, but never really found the time to do so...until Meg won a free 10 day pass for 2 to it. So we go and get the spiel, and I start to think that it'll be good to have a membership here, where, if I'm feeling bored, I can drive 5 minutes to the gym or (when it's warmer) walk the 25 minutes or so it'd take.
As part of the membership fees, you get 2 free sessions with a personal trainer. One is a 'getting to know you' sort of meeting, and the second is a walkthrough workout designed for you by the trainer based on the first session. I go for my first session tomorrow. As I was sweating away on the bike today, i was thinking about what I'd talk to the trainer about.
See, I've already been up front with the person telling us about the gym that my main reason was that I wanted to look better. That's really it. I want to be more in shape. When I play street hockey, I want to be able to run end to end a couple times, not just kind of hang out around the center line and burst up or down as needed.
I was mulling it all over in my head as I ground out an hour on the bike, and as I was peddling, the thought came unbidden to me: "I just want to stop looking like me."
I thought about it for a bit, wondering where this particular bit of self-loathing came from, and it occurred to me that it's the sort of thing that everyone does to themselves. I can't see myself through other folks eyes (I am generally glad for this...) so the only eyes I see myself through are mine. And mine don't see the definition in my arms and legs. All my eyes see are my round, chubby face, and my pot belly. That's it, according to me. That's my sum total. My torso and face.
It's not very realistic, of course. But it's there. And now, it's time to work on it in a positive manner. I'm kind of excited about this meeting tomorrow. It feels like it's really time to take charge of my appearance and actually take it in the direction I want to go.
Here's hoping.