(no subject)
i woke up this morning with a huge burning sensation between my legs... i had the most amazing, dirty, sexual dream that i've had in a long time. i turned over to hug my boyfriend and see if he was awake. he wasn't so i fell asleep again. i had another dream that manifested itself into something aweful... i felt disgusting, unwanted, and hurt. i woke up again and in a hurry put on my workout clothes and flew to the gym. today the thought on my mind is... I don't want him to not be attracted to me, i want him to tell me i'm sexy, i want his mouth to drop open when i drop my clothes... and lately that hasen't happened. it could be that i gained 30 pounds sence we started dating, it could be that he's just used to me... but i want to be his SEX BOMB! and i don't feel that way. so heres to going to the gym, eating rice cakes, and not being happy until i'm skinny again