WHOA!!! look what i found.....
It's been for fucking ever since I've wrote anything. I totally forgot about this name. I kept thinking I stil had my old name. Stained_Eyelids. HAHA!
I made a new name just to get on again and find my page. HAHAHA I'm a loser.
So...Where the fuck has 2005 gone? It pretty much feels like this entire year was shunken into a 3 month calender. Here I come to find it's December already. I didn't know life would fly by not being in school anymore. People told me it would, but I didn't believe them. I thought I would have been DOING something with my life by now, but I haven't. What a shame.
My year has consisted of maybe 3 things. Slaving away at Toys R Us being the first...my fucking body feels like it's going to shrink up like a raisin. My relationship with Steven. Yes, I'm still with him if that's hard for you to believe. Who would have thought? Finally sleeping. That's it! I really feel as if I blew my entire year on sleeping, working, and spending whatever time left with Steven. When he wasn't at work and school. I seem to have completely taken the fun out of my life. What a fucking sob story that is!
Being busy with work has kept me from whatever friends I may have still had. I've spoken to some throughout the year, but it's been very seldum that I've had enough time to "@$%$ HANG OUT $#%#".
Tinker has been away at bootcamp for the navy since August, but due to the fucked up nature of our government the worng question was asked and now he's being sent home. I wait for him everyday. To get a phone call telling me he's at the airport. He should be home before Christmas. So that's something to be happy about. He's been my brother for 5 years and it's been hard reading his letters each month sincs he's been gone because I've needed him here. A piece a paper is no substitute for the REAL THING.
Brittany, although I thought she had disappeared off the face of the planet. I saw her ghost just last night. It's been so hard not having her around. For the last what 3-4 years she's been that thing called a "best friend" and I started feeling like we weren't that anymore. It's been a year since we spent any time together. I've seen here maybe a total of 3 days this year. Valentine's day was the last time I really got to have fun with her. When your friends don't answer your calls it makes you start believing they don't care about you anymore. People lead very hectic lives. That's all I need to remember. When I saw her my heart felt like it was doing summersults and my hands started shaking. Every emotion you could possibly feel was running through my veins. But there she was. Just hugging her made the stress melt away. She explained why I haven't heard form her. Working 3 jobs, never being home. Hmm....no wonder.
Jason M...xoxo
Jason H..."AHHHHHHHH"
JULI...don't take no shit from some fucking redneck BITCH! They're all just a bunch a fucking ASS HOLES!! It pisses me off that they think so little of you and let you go because one fat fucking slob says you weren't cutting it. Your worth so much more. You're great...you know it!
Steven...
I love him.
I hate him.
There's so much more to say.
Adam fucking Busch!! If you read this...sorry I haven't called. I miss you hon.
Yeah...2005...WTF?!?! Maybe I'll make 2006 better.
In store...
-driving school (cause I still haven't fucking did it)
-new job (this one's stale and blows)
-1 year anniversary (we'll see...)
-school...(I'll think about it)
-and a fucking vacation!!
I need something to drink. Maybe something 70proof. Nothing too stronge.
I made a new name just to get on again and find my page. HAHAHA I'm a loser.
So...Where the fuck has 2005 gone? It pretty much feels like this entire year was shunken into a 3 month calender. Here I come to find it's December already. I didn't know life would fly by not being in school anymore. People told me it would, but I didn't believe them. I thought I would have been DOING something with my life by now, but I haven't. What a shame.
My year has consisted of maybe 3 things. Slaving away at Toys R Us being the first...my fucking body feels like it's going to shrink up like a raisin. My relationship with Steven. Yes, I'm still with him if that's hard for you to believe. Who would have thought? Finally sleeping. That's it! I really feel as if I blew my entire year on sleeping, working, and spending whatever time left with Steven. When he wasn't at work and school. I seem to have completely taken the fun out of my life. What a fucking sob story that is!
Being busy with work has kept me from whatever friends I may have still had. I've spoken to some throughout the year, but it's been very seldum that I've had enough time to "@$%$ HANG OUT $#%#".
Tinker has been away at bootcamp for the navy since August, but due to the fucked up nature of our government the worng question was asked and now he's being sent home. I wait for him everyday. To get a phone call telling me he's at the airport. He should be home before Christmas. So that's something to be happy about. He's been my brother for 5 years and it's been hard reading his letters each month sincs he's been gone because I've needed him here. A piece a paper is no substitute for the REAL THING.
Brittany, although I thought she had disappeared off the face of the planet. I saw her ghost just last night. It's been so hard not having her around. For the last what 3-4 years she's been that thing called a "best friend" and I started feeling like we weren't that anymore. It's been a year since we spent any time together. I've seen here maybe a total of 3 days this year. Valentine's day was the last time I really got to have fun with her. When your friends don't answer your calls it makes you start believing they don't care about you anymore. People lead very hectic lives. That's all I need to remember. When I saw her my heart felt like it was doing summersults and my hands started shaking. Every emotion you could possibly feel was running through my veins. But there she was. Just hugging her made the stress melt away. She explained why I haven't heard form her. Working 3 jobs, never being home. Hmm....no wonder.
Jason M...xoxo
Jason H..."AHHHHHHHH"
JULI...don't take no shit from some fucking redneck BITCH! They're all just a bunch a fucking ASS HOLES!! It pisses me off that they think so little of you and let you go because one fat fucking slob says you weren't cutting it. Your worth so much more. You're great...you know it!
Steven...
I love him.
I hate him.
There's so much more to say.
Adam fucking Busch!! If you read this...sorry I haven't called. I miss you hon.
Yeah...2005...WTF?!?! Maybe I'll make 2006 better.
In store...
-driving school (cause I still haven't fucking did it)
-new job (this one's stale and blows)
-1 year anniversary (we'll see...)
-school...(I'll think about it)
-and a fucking vacation!!
I need something to drink. Maybe something 70proof. Nothing too stronge.