the Tower of Learning
Hello true pal and confidante. You're still here. We're both still here. The only difference is that you're in the same place you've always been while I've relocated to Los Angeles, California. Thanks Livejournal for keeping constant. This move won't make sense to me until years down the road. Right now I fluctuate from "this is absolute kismet" to "there's nowhere on earth on I'd more loathe to be," with heavy emphasis on the latter.
I need to learn French and Thai. My ukulele is dusty and looking more foreign each day to my cobwebbed brain. I lack language. I'm constantly on a quest to culture myself. The rub is that there's rarely contentment at the end of the tunnel. I think this drive to learn is a blessed thing but I fear the downside is the constant overwhelming feeling of the whole quest. Is the trouble focus? Yes. But am I attention deficit or just extremely excited and all too eager to keep on learning? I may very well soon see, as there's a research study for ADHD happening in Glendale (research studies are my new get-above-the-povery-line quick scheme). My gut tells me that Ritalin is a poison for the lazy man not willing to work on himself. We will see.
Of course these days I'm not at my best mentally. Who would be living on their brother's couch in company of his increasingly obnoxious, "struggling actress" girlfriend? No like-minded individuals in sight, and after a month and a half the prospect of finding one in the City of Angels isn't looking any brighter. Maybe after the social lovefest of working at Trinity Rep for a year begets the need for a few months of introspection. If only I could find the space to be alone. It's hard to sing, scream, write or feel with any sort of abandon with the Lacktress in the other room rehearsing her lines. These folks are very set in their ways, as am I, so let's see which one of us snaps first. My bets are on my brother.
I need to learn French and Thai. My ukulele is dusty and looking more foreign each day to my cobwebbed brain. I lack language. I'm constantly on a quest to culture myself. The rub is that there's rarely contentment at the end of the tunnel. I think this drive to learn is a blessed thing but I fear the downside is the constant overwhelming feeling of the whole quest. Is the trouble focus? Yes. But am I attention deficit or just extremely excited and all too eager to keep on learning? I may very well soon see, as there's a research study for ADHD happening in Glendale (research studies are my new get-above-the-povery-line quick scheme). My gut tells me that Ritalin is a poison for the lazy man not willing to work on himself. We will see.
Of course these days I'm not at my best mentally. Who would be living on their brother's couch in company of his increasingly obnoxious, "struggling actress" girlfriend? No like-minded individuals in sight, and after a month and a half the prospect of finding one in the City of Angels isn't looking any brighter. Maybe after the social lovefest of working at Trinity Rep for a year begets the need for a few months of introspection. If only I could find the space to be alone. It's hard to sing, scream, write or feel with any sort of abandon with the Lacktress in the other room rehearsing her lines. These folks are very set in their ways, as am I, so let's see which one of us snaps first. My bets are on my brother.