What A Day
Church was long, but good. Then came Wal-Mart. My mom and I must have spent three hours in there. I hate that store, it's like that Pitfall game for the Atari. Only instead of scorpions and snakes, there are rolling children and sharp display cases. And instead of swinging over a lake filled with crocs, you have to swing over a pile of jeans the size of a '63 Buick with little kids shooting Nerf guns at you. And for the boss, there is no statue; no, instead it was a lady at one of those stands who demonstrates things. SHE WAS NUTS! She was showing how this revolutionary new kind of stain treater could remove anything: blood, coffee, tea, foods, etc... Anyway, she's throwing crap at people who pass by. For instance, she grabs this pint of blood and hucks it at this guy getting a bag of peanuts. It hits him and he starts going wild. So while he's running around screaming, she shouts out for everybody to come and watch. So this crowd of people swarm over and she starts spraying this guy down with this bottle of green liquid. It starts to cause the blood in his clothes to run, and before long, his clothes were pinkish red. He finally calms down and yells at the lady who is now saying that her job here is done and begins making gibbery noises (like blowing rasberries) and twirling around; as if that was all, she runs out side and starts yelling into the sky for the mothership to come. That was all we saw of her. Immediately after this, everyone present grabbed a bottle of the stuff and ran for the checkouts. The guy was apalled and ran for management. I, however, decided to get a drink. The McDonalds guy was standing there drooling all over himself, and asked what drink I wanted. I said Sprite: the guy goes, "SPWIIIITE!" and tilts his head to the right and starts drooling into the cup. I walked away scared at this point. Then we check out. The lady that was our checker said we had to answer three questions correctly, or we lost all we owned to some sort of ravenous, meat-eating pie. She asked us (A)If we were interested in buying a revolutionary new kind of stain treater, (B)If we wanted to buy a bottle of propane, and (C)If we needed to get some clean blood for a drug test. Our answers were all no. She said this was correct and rang-up our items. We thanked her and she said, "Nobody has ever said that to me before..." and started to cry. When this happened, she began to spark and sizzle and burn. When the ordeal was over, the robotic form of a middle-aged woman was left crumbled on the gound in a heap of metal. Then we left the store and were awarded 100,000 points for clearing the level in less than eternity. The end.