Home Sick

[starlogic]

You know what the worst thing about being home sick is? You cant do anything about it. You can maybe talk to someone from home, that generally makes it worse, you can try to not think about it, keep yourself busy, but then when you arent looking it sneaks up you 3 fold. So what do you do when you are sitting down, trying to think of something to do, when all you want is to be home, to smell the ocean air, get a cup of real coffee, what do you do when you feel all alone and there is nobody around who can understand what you are going through. Before I left, I had a couple people say "Oh your brave I could never do what you are", I remeber when they said that I thought "What? Why would it be so hard to go be with the one you love? Why is that being brave?" Now I know. I am not a material person, I hold value in friends, what family I have and still speak to, and the comfort of home, only now do I truly understand all those things are what I gave up. I know I still have my friends, but in a way I know we will talk less, our ties will stretch, I mean hell I dont know if I will ever see any of you again. I know I want to, but that doesnt mean it will happen.
So many times I have felt like throwing in the towel, coming home, its what my heart wants so incredibly bad, but its only part of me that wants that. The other part keeps saying this is my home, this will work out and get better. I dunno, just feel a bit crazy sometimes, I guess everyone does though.
Anyways, how is everyone doing? : ) I hope Steve is doing alright and hanging in there, lord knows we are all thinking about him and missing him. Talk to you guys soon. ~D