(no subject)
I think i have a problem with commitment.
It's what i want the most and yet when it's within my reach i just completely reject it. i'm lame as fuck.
When things looked up with wayne and he invited me over, i said no and made my excuses even though i liked him.
When ash asked me out i said yeah and then when he said he couldn't go because they asked him to work late, i said okay and then his next suggestion of going out i said i didn't know. And so that went nowhere. And i'm too much of a twat to txt him first, or go up to him at school and talk to him. I got to school at the same time, in the middle of lessons, and i was right behind him. I could of started a conversation, but i didnt.
I'm an idiot
I go out and pull someone and no matter how much i like them, or we get on, it lasts like a week and then i either lose interest or get scared.
But i want someone to love me and me to love them back. it feels like i have this fuck off empty space and i'm like punishing myself and not letting me get what i want. What's up with that?
Why cant i just take the risk?
It's what i want the most and yet when it's within my reach i just completely reject it. i'm lame as fuck.
When things looked up with wayne and he invited me over, i said no and made my excuses even though i liked him.
When ash asked me out i said yeah and then when he said he couldn't go because they asked him to work late, i said okay and then his next suggestion of going out i said i didn't know. And so that went nowhere. And i'm too much of a twat to txt him first, or go up to him at school and talk to him. I got to school at the same time, in the middle of lessons, and i was right behind him. I could of started a conversation, but i didnt.
I'm an idiot
I go out and pull someone and no matter how much i like them, or we get on, it lasts like a week and then i either lose interest or get scared.
But i want someone to love me and me to love them back. it feels like i have this fuck off empty space and i'm like punishing myself and not letting me get what i want. What's up with that?
Why cant i just take the risk?