(no subject)
so today was teh first time i didn my work out since last week i think thursday was teh last day i did it. then of course on the weekend me nic chris erick and james went to metasin had a shit load of fun but i got super sloshed, it sucked and i pulled an exorcists on every one lol.
yesterday was kinda depressing and i like turned into the old me and got really bad, i fucking hate turning into that person.
i went to bed early last night and woke up super early today tried to like get moving but i was so tired that i just stayed in bed until 1130 then i got up and forced my self to do my work out and i really didnt want to but i looked at photo albums from when we were younger and i saw how big i was and i was like OMG i dont wanna turn back into that so i did my work out and it felt really good.
im all sweaty now and its really gross.
and uh nicole i dont know if youll read this but i am sorry for like snapping at you last night i just lost it and i didnt wanna deal with anyone.
and ew my ice tastes weird...... iuck.
this kid i went to training last about 2 months ago i think it was maybe a month something like that i talked to yesterday and he like confessed how much he really liked me but also that his fatehr had just recently died and i was like OMG I AM SO SORRY. i mean what can you possibly say to them, nothing i say will make him feel better. but he seems to be handleing it pretty well hes using the energy of saddness towards art adn writing and i was very proud of him for that becasue im to used to seeing people just give in and going GREAT this is my life. and he also tod me that when we spend those 2 days together he wanted to kiss me and that i made him feel human and then thanked me, i was like uhhhhhhh i'm nuts. hahahahahaha. he said he liked me and my goats hahahahaha.. i guess with a person like me all you can do is feel human because im just to..... oohh butterfly!!
so i feel a ton better today and it sucks cause i have no money so i cant do anything but i might read or something anything to occupy my mind.
well thanks for listening to my rant..
we will be back after these short messages......
yesterday was kinda depressing and i like turned into the old me and got really bad, i fucking hate turning into that person.
i went to bed early last night and woke up super early today tried to like get moving but i was so tired that i just stayed in bed until 1130 then i got up and forced my self to do my work out and i really didnt want to but i looked at photo albums from when we were younger and i saw how big i was and i was like OMG i dont wanna turn back into that so i did my work out and it felt really good.
im all sweaty now and its really gross.
and uh nicole i dont know if youll read this but i am sorry for like snapping at you last night i just lost it and i didnt wanna deal with anyone.
and ew my ice tastes weird...... iuck.
this kid i went to training last about 2 months ago i think it was maybe a month something like that i talked to yesterday and he like confessed how much he really liked me but also that his fatehr had just recently died and i was like OMG I AM SO SORRY. i mean what can you possibly say to them, nothing i say will make him feel better. but he seems to be handleing it pretty well hes using the energy of saddness towards art adn writing and i was very proud of him for that becasue im to used to seeing people just give in and going GREAT this is my life. and he also tod me that when we spend those 2 days together he wanted to kiss me and that i made him feel human and then thanked me, i was like uhhhhhhh i'm nuts. hahahahahaha. he said he liked me and my goats hahahahaha.. i guess with a person like me all you can do is feel human because im just to..... oohh butterfly!!
so i feel a ton better today and it sucks cause i have no money so i cant do anything but i might read or something anything to occupy my mind.
well thanks for listening to my rant..
we will be back after these short messages......