my tears fall on my own shoulders...
so...
i never update. and then i come on to read updates, and there are 74982748329 that i have to sort through. it's nuts.
i went to wildwood for the weekend. things are bad. grandmom is dying. there's no nice way to put it. she's so sick, and falling apart minute by minute. she's been hospitalized for like 3 weeks now, and they dont see her coming home anytime soon. on top of the lung cancer, and what we think is bone cancer (since she can't walk or even stand), she's got a blood clot in her arm that made her upper arm swell up to the size of my body. and she's having problems with circulation, so her legs are really messed up, and the muscles are deteriorating rapidly. i've been hoping that she'd last long enough to see the baby, but i'll actually be surprised if that happens. i dont see her lasting much longer... there's just too much going wrong, and she's lost her fighting attitude. she just doesn't care anymore. it was so sad to see her like that. stacie was a WRECK, which only made me want to cry. i got a little teary on the way home in the car when talking to dad about it. i feel so guilty because i'm more upset about what my grandpop is going through...watching her like this. he's already burried a wife and 2 sons. he's hurting, and you can see how he's aged so much over the past few months. it's heartbreaking. a few times at the hospital, he got teary-eyed. i'm not sure anyone else noticed, but then again, i was watching him more than anything else anyway. i just sat on the foot of the bed next to him, and held his hand, and occasionally rubbed his knee. he would smile at me with that stupid lyons smile, and we would giggle to ourselves. i wish there was more that i could do...
you can really see how much he adores her, just by the way he looks at her...
i never update. and then i come on to read updates, and there are 74982748329 that i have to sort through. it's nuts.
i went to wildwood for the weekend. things are bad. grandmom is dying. there's no nice way to put it. she's so sick, and falling apart minute by minute. she's been hospitalized for like 3 weeks now, and they dont see her coming home anytime soon. on top of the lung cancer, and what we think is bone cancer (since she can't walk or even stand), she's got a blood clot in her arm that made her upper arm swell up to the size of my body. and she's having problems with circulation, so her legs are really messed up, and the muscles are deteriorating rapidly. i've been hoping that she'd last long enough to see the baby, but i'll actually be surprised if that happens. i dont see her lasting much longer... there's just too much going wrong, and she's lost her fighting attitude. she just doesn't care anymore. it was so sad to see her like that. stacie was a WRECK, which only made me want to cry. i got a little teary on the way home in the car when talking to dad about it. i feel so guilty because i'm more upset about what my grandpop is going through...watching her like this. he's already burried a wife and 2 sons. he's hurting, and you can see how he's aged so much over the past few months. it's heartbreaking. a few times at the hospital, he got teary-eyed. i'm not sure anyone else noticed, but then again, i was watching him more than anything else anyway. i just sat on the foot of the bed next to him, and held his hand, and occasionally rubbed his knee. he would smile at me with that stupid lyons smile, and we would giggle to ourselves. i wish there was more that i could do...
you can really see how much he adores her, just by the way he looks at her...