(no subject)

[starlitdancer88]

when i recently told one of the people who i had thought was a good friend of mine that i was sick of dealing with his moodiness and meanness and that i hated him and never wanted him to be my friend again, i meant it and i felt so relieved afterwards. lately, i've begun to realize how blind i was and how much of a joke that friendship was. he was never really my friend. i guess when he said that i had met a fabrication of his real self back in the summer, i should have believed him... cuz thats how the friendship ended up. it was so fucking fake and full of constant lies. i don't know how i could have been so fucking blind. yea i liked him and maybe thats why i didn't want to see it, i wanted to just keep trying and trying in hopes that he might eventually like me, even though i knew that that would never happen, but i never realized how much he liked someone else and it was all over fucking myspace... the comments, the plans to hang out... he would always tell me that he never had time to hang out between work and his 'real friends' so i guess i just should have taken that hint. its amazing how badly people can fool you when you're too blind and you just don't want to see it.

T.M. darling, you are not simply stunning.
you are simply fucked up in the head.
and i hope you lead a gorgeously fucked up life.
congrats with the girl that somehow stole your heart while you were busy pissing me off.

on a lighter note... yesterday 1/3 was the one month mark for nick and i and i can honestly say that i've never ever loved anyone as much as i've loved him.. probably mainly because i've never actually really liked my bfs before lol... but i just love him so much and i would give him the world.

i love you nicholas james conley <33

oh and last but not least... an update on colleges:

ahhhhh i still have no fucking idea
other than im going to chicago jan 13-16 to look at columbia and harrington, both private schools for photography... hmmmmmmm