ROUGH DAY
well this whole weekend has been pretty tough.I had my daughter and son over and BOY they know how to work me.It has been stressful I love my kids to death but sometimes everyone loses patients and they are NOT cooperating..DAMN HELLIONS!!Gotta love them though.THis weekend has really put alot of things in perspective for me though.Like how i miss being there EVERy night when my kids go to bed to tuck them in and say there prayers.My kids are my life and i just have fallen off track lately.But eventually one day I will get back on the right track and have them back.Until then they are with my mom and IN the best hands ever.It just hurts so bad to ahve ur 5 yr old daughter and 2 year old son beg to live with you and u not be able to have them do that.do to financial and carless situation right now.Its been nice holding them and being able to spend every waking moment with them i havent even had the urge to get away really>today was alil trying but i also had the neighbors 3 year osl do 2 3 and 5 year old OMG **PULLS HAIR** the lil devils..THank god for chance and jeff today they have truly helped me and im gonna paste something here that made me day a lil better and helped me to realize that I am not as bad as i think i am this is something i recived from chance in an email and I so am keeping him as my best friend now.Thank you chance what u said brought tears to my eyes and im glad that SOMEONE can see my views and think im doing an OK job.
I just got done watching you hold your chidlrens hands a pray for them.. something that really touched me!! Like... I'll be straight up and honest with you because thats just the way I am. The first night that you and I met in person... went horrible. It started off great.. yes, but turned out to be a bad one. And like... when you came walking out of :08 with Joel all over you and making out with him and completely shit faced...my impression of you changed immdediately. I assumed you for someone that just didnt care about ne thing and did some stupid stuff. But then in the car you continously appologized to me for me having to wait outisde and all and I wanted to think you were being nice, but at the same time you were so wasted that I didn't know what you did or didn't mean. That night I wasn't all that upset that I had to sit out in the cold... granted I was pissed. I was more frustrated that Joel had all of your attention because I liked you and even though im way younger than you... thought I had a chance with you. When I saw that I didn't, I got aggrevated I guess. But anyways... what I thought of you after that night and what I think of you now are two totally different things. Right now I have sooo much respect for you!! To be able to do everything that you have done today and still be able to maintain your sanity.. for the most part, is a very attractive quality. Seeing you with the kids... Seeing you struggle to get something done... Actually seeing you for you and getting to know the real Heather today was Great!! It was originally planned for Jeff and I to come over and then leave around 4ish... but I honestly wanted to stay and help you because I saw how much of a struggle you were having and the very little help you were getting from anyone else! I just... all I have said so far really doesn't amount to anything so I will just get straight to the point. I think you're a really Great person Heather!! You do a lot for others and it shows in your actions that you care a lot for people!! because now I see who you really are!! Not just when you are drunk! So.. I want you to know, that as a friend, best friend or even baby sitter **on occasion ** I am here for you!! I have seen what you go through, and have only briefly experienced it.... but know enough that all the support and help in the world wont hurt!! Im going to quit now though.. because u got online and Jeffs drunk ass is in here talking to me and im to tired to think ne more... but IM ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU!!
THAT meant more to me then anything has in a long time I like to know that others can see my situation and hos stressful it is.THanks again chance u have brought a smile to my face today!
I just got done watching you hold your chidlrens hands a pray for them.. something that really touched me!! Like... I'll be straight up and honest with you because thats just the way I am. The first night that you and I met in person... went horrible. It started off great.. yes, but turned out to be a bad one. And like... when you came walking out of :08 with Joel all over you and making out with him and completely shit faced...my impression of you changed immdediately. I assumed you for someone that just didnt care about ne thing and did some stupid stuff. But then in the car you continously appologized to me for me having to wait outisde and all and I wanted to think you were being nice, but at the same time you were so wasted that I didn't know what you did or didn't mean. That night I wasn't all that upset that I had to sit out in the cold... granted I was pissed. I was more frustrated that Joel had all of your attention because I liked you and even though im way younger than you... thought I had a chance with you. When I saw that I didn't, I got aggrevated I guess. But anyways... what I thought of you after that night and what I think of you now are two totally different things. Right now I have sooo much respect for you!! To be able to do everything that you have done today and still be able to maintain your sanity.. for the most part, is a very attractive quality. Seeing you with the kids... Seeing you struggle to get something done... Actually seeing you for you and getting to know the real Heather today was Great!! It was originally planned for Jeff and I to come over and then leave around 4ish... but I honestly wanted to stay and help you because I saw how much of a struggle you were having and the very little help you were getting from anyone else! I just... all I have said so far really doesn't amount to anything so I will just get straight to the point. I think you're a really Great person Heather!! You do a lot for others and it shows in your actions that you care a lot for people!! because now I see who you really are!! Not just when you are drunk! So.. I want you to know, that as a friend, best friend or even baby sitter **on occasion ** I am here for you!! I have seen what you go through, and have only briefly experienced it.... but know enough that all the support and help in the world wont hurt!! Im going to quit now though.. because u got online and Jeffs drunk ass is in here talking to me and im to tired to think ne more... but IM ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU!!
THAT meant more to me then anything has in a long time I like to know that others can see my situation and hos stressful it is.THanks again chance u have brought a smile to my face today!