(no subject)
I think too much.
I think that thinking makes me feel lonley. Mostly because i think about the past. no, wait, that is an untrue statement. I think about the present and the future, as well, but in a much more pessemistic and blurred light. The past, i see mostly as being pretty good, for being a small chunk of my life. with an exception of the last few months of my life. to put it in the quickest form of a sentence: I have been a[hugemotherfucking] wreck. Besides looking damn good ALL the time(we know that this is an expression of sarcasm, since half the time i look like i have just woken up IN a handle of takka), i really have felt like a pile of steaming, rain-soaked dog shit. It's everything. Everything is on my mind, and tieing my stomach into knots the size of how boring this journal is to read[immenso]. I have been feeling sorry for myself for too long already.
i just realised something else, important to notice. i have a blog.
(wow, fucking amazing, dumbass, you noticed what you are obviously doing. idiot.)
No, but i am a person with a fucking blog. that is what this is. Don't you people fool yourselves into thinking that you are just writing on a personal journal that just happens to be opened to a portion of the internet public world. you are being judged, i promise. whatever you say is probably not safe. bomb. <<<--- see that, this word can get me into trouble. wow. anything i say. i dont even think that i can say the things i want to really say because some "you-know-who" kind of lurker might approach upon something i wrote about someone else, or how i feel, or what i think baout the fucking color of the sky, ...and they interpret it into something negative. now, not only am i a pessemist, i think...proabably everyone else is.
yea, its true. i think that i am a contemplative, pessemistic fucking blogger that can't admit what she really needs to. or did i just do that? nope, false alarm, this is not the important thing at all. oh yea, it was about how i fucking have felt like dogshit. great, we are back on track.
okay, so i think i know why i feel like dogshit. you think you know??? this will be fun, like a guessing game.
I think that thinking makes me feel lonley. Mostly because i think about the past. no, wait, that is an untrue statement. I think about the present and the future, as well, but in a much more pessemistic and blurred light. The past, i see mostly as being pretty good, for being a small chunk of my life. with an exception of the last few months of my life. to put it in the quickest form of a sentence: I have been a[hugemotherfucking] wreck. Besides looking damn good ALL the time(we know that this is an expression of sarcasm, since half the time i look like i have just woken up IN a handle of takka), i really have felt like a pile of steaming, rain-soaked dog shit. It's everything. Everything is on my mind, and tieing my stomach into knots the size of how boring this journal is to read[immenso]. I have been feeling sorry for myself for too long already.
i just realised something else, important to notice. i have a blog.
(wow, fucking amazing, dumbass, you noticed what you are obviously doing. idiot.)
No, but i am a person with a fucking blog. that is what this is. Don't you people fool yourselves into thinking that you are just writing on a personal journal that just happens to be opened to a portion of the internet public world. you are being judged, i promise. whatever you say is probably not safe. bomb. <<<--- see that, this word can get me into trouble. wow. anything i say. i dont even think that i can say the things i want to really say because some "you-know-who" kind of lurker might approach upon something i wrote about someone else, or how i feel, or what i think baout the fucking color of the sky, ...and they interpret it into something negative. now, not only am i a pessemist, i think...proabably everyone else is.
yea, its true. i think that i am a contemplative, pessemistic fucking blogger that can't admit what she really needs to. or did i just do that? nope, false alarm, this is not the important thing at all. oh yea, it was about how i fucking have felt like dogshit. great, we are back on track.
okay, so i think i know why i feel like dogshit. you think you know??? this will be fun, like a guessing game.