Seiftis Cliches
In response to meandering_mynd's post of her top 10 Seiftis cliches, I've created my own master list. This is what seven years in one fandom does to a person.
1) Quistis the "Ice Queen." The phrase itself should be used by both the narrator and by others in the story to describe her. She is frosty, unwilling to open up to others, tough, and unsurprisingly doesn't have a lot of intimate relationships. Needs Seifer to melt her cold, hard heart.
2) Seifer returns to Garden and Quistis is assigned to be his instructor.
3) Quistis will get her prized instructor's license back only if she can get Seifer to pass his SeeD exam. She's clearly qualified according to Cid, but the hurdle is to prove it to those mysterious large-hatted faculty people.
4) Seifer's an ass because his dad beat the snot out of him when he was little.
4) Quistis is so frosty because she was molested by the family that adopted her.
5) Seifer and Quistis have loved each other since they were children but have forgotten until the plot deems they shall conveniently remember.
6) Seifer has been lusting after Quistis since he was her student.
7) Quistis has been lusting after Seifer since she was his instructor.
8) Quistis has special mage/sorceress powers.
9) A t-rexaur (traditionally) and/or a malboro (more recently) will attack, seriously injuring one of the two.
10) Something really hot happened in that disciplinary room before Seifer broke out and headed to Timber. (Variation on this: something happened on the train.)
11) Seifer's hiding a soft, sweet inner core underneath that asshole exterior.
12) At the beginning of the story Seifer is dirt poor and perpetually drunk. Quistis cleans him up.
13) Seifer and Edea share a special though somewhat uncomfortable bond -- only my mommy understands me. This usually turns Edea into Seifer's champion and Quistis's confidant.
14) Seifer is an amazing and giving lover. She'll either come first, multiple times, or they'll come together.
15) While at Garden, Seifer was a complete man whore.
16) After Seifer and Quistis have sex for the first time, he will sneak out in the morning before she wakes up...and it will break Quistis's heart.
17) Xu is Quistis's best friend, and a complete hard ass.
18) After entering into a relationship with Seifer, Quistis will hide it from her friends.
19) In order to keep him safe, Quistis will at some point hide Seifer in her dorm room. Variation: they are forced to share a hotel room with one bed while on the run.
20) Seifer will only realize that he's in love with Quistis when he almost loses her, either because of the aforementioned t-rexaur attack, or because she leaves him.
21) Irvine finds out about the relationship and, in some capacity, facilitates it.
22) Everyone hates Seifer, until they find out that he's with Quistis. Then everyone becomes friends.
23) Fujin and Raijin are conspicuously absent.
24) The two will engage in copious amounts of witty banter, though Quistis will almost always best Seifer when they match wits.
25) Quistis uses her power and rhetoric to humiliate Seifer in some fashion, usually in an effort to break him.
26) Quistis is a super smart, super capable SeeD with excellent leadership qualities.
27) Quistis is completely unaware that she is beautiful, despite the legions of Trepies that frequently haunt her steps.
28) They are super fertile. One roll in the hay has a 90% chance of producing offspring. Any news of pregnancy transforms Seifer into a loving boyfriend and capable daddy.
29) Seifer wears black boxers and has a tattoo of a Hyperion cross somewhere on his body.
30) Seifer is a chain smoker.
31) In the end, either Seifer will become a SeeD and join Garden or Quistis will quit her job as a SeeD and live a quaint country life with Seifer.
32) Seifer notices that Quistis smells like lilacs/peaches/strawberries or some other unique and identifying scent. He'll never vaguely say, "You smell good." He can always identify the exact flower. And only Quistis will ever smell like it.
33) In vino veritas: one, or both, will get very drunk and admit that they're in love/have always been in love with the other. Usually followed by unrealistically good drunk sex and a morning hang-over that lets Seifer tend to a weakened Quistis.
34) Seifer and Squall have a frosty, bizarrely formal relationship that they apparently only maintain because their significant others are friends: "Almasy." "Leonhart."
35) Seifer will be tried for war crimes, possibly even almost executed. But Quistis saves him.
36) Seifer and Quistis go on an undercover mission together. (courtesy anon. commenter)
Oh man. That's all I've got right now. Any I missed?
1) Quistis the "Ice Queen." The phrase itself should be used by both the narrator and by others in the story to describe her. She is frosty, unwilling to open up to others, tough, and unsurprisingly doesn't have a lot of intimate relationships. Needs Seifer to melt her cold, hard heart.
2) Seifer returns to Garden and Quistis is assigned to be his instructor.
3) Quistis will get her prized instructor's license back only if she can get Seifer to pass his SeeD exam. She's clearly qualified according to Cid, but the hurdle is to prove it to those mysterious large-hatted faculty people.
4) Seifer's an ass because his dad beat the snot out of him when he was little.
4) Quistis is so frosty because she was molested by the family that adopted her.
5) Seifer and Quistis have loved each other since they were children but have forgotten until the plot deems they shall conveniently remember.
6) Seifer has been lusting after Quistis since he was her student.
7) Quistis has been lusting after Seifer since she was his instructor.
8) Quistis has special mage/sorceress powers.
9) A t-rexaur (traditionally) and/or a malboro (more recently) will attack, seriously injuring one of the two.
10) Something really hot happened in that disciplinary room before Seifer broke out and headed to Timber. (Variation on this: something happened on the train.)
11) Seifer's hiding a soft, sweet inner core underneath that asshole exterior.
12) At the beginning of the story Seifer is dirt poor and perpetually drunk. Quistis cleans him up.
13) Seifer and Edea share a special though somewhat uncomfortable bond -- only my mommy understands me. This usually turns Edea into Seifer's champion and Quistis's confidant.
14) Seifer is an amazing and giving lover. She'll either come first, multiple times, or they'll come together.
15) While at Garden, Seifer was a complete man whore.
16) After Seifer and Quistis have sex for the first time, he will sneak out in the morning before she wakes up...and it will break Quistis's heart.
17) Xu is Quistis's best friend, and a complete hard ass.
18) After entering into a relationship with Seifer, Quistis will hide it from her friends.
19) In order to keep him safe, Quistis will at some point hide Seifer in her dorm room. Variation: they are forced to share a hotel room with one bed while on the run.
20) Seifer will only realize that he's in love with Quistis when he almost loses her, either because of the aforementioned t-rexaur attack, or because she leaves him.
21) Irvine finds out about the relationship and, in some capacity, facilitates it.
22) Everyone hates Seifer, until they find out that he's with Quistis. Then everyone becomes friends.
23) Fujin and Raijin are conspicuously absent.
24) The two will engage in copious amounts of witty banter, though Quistis will almost always best Seifer when they match wits.
25) Quistis uses her power and rhetoric to humiliate Seifer in some fashion, usually in an effort to break him.
26) Quistis is a super smart, super capable SeeD with excellent leadership qualities.
27) Quistis is completely unaware that she is beautiful, despite the legions of Trepies that frequently haunt her steps.
28) They are super fertile. One roll in the hay has a 90% chance of producing offspring. Any news of pregnancy transforms Seifer into a loving boyfriend and capable daddy.
29) Seifer wears black boxers and has a tattoo of a Hyperion cross somewhere on his body.
30) Seifer is a chain smoker.
31) In the end, either Seifer will become a SeeD and join Garden or Quistis will quit her job as a SeeD and live a quaint country life with Seifer.
32) Seifer notices that Quistis smells like lilacs/peaches/strawberries or some other unique and identifying scent. He'll never vaguely say, "You smell good." He can always identify the exact flower. And only Quistis will ever smell like it.
33) In vino veritas: one, or both, will get very drunk and admit that they're in love/have always been in love with the other. Usually followed by unrealistically good drunk sex and a morning hang-over that lets Seifer tend to a weakened Quistis.
34) Seifer and Squall have a frosty, bizarrely formal relationship that they apparently only maintain because their significant others are friends: "Almasy." "Leonhart."
35) Seifer will be tried for war crimes, possibly even almost executed. But Quistis saves him.
36) Seifer and Quistis go on an undercover mission together. (courtesy anon. commenter)
Oh man. That's all I've got right now. Any I missed?