ever wonder if it's all for you?
In their best incarnation, holidays represent a reminder that we are loved, and a reminder to show and tell those that we love that we do, in fact, love them. At their worst, holidays become a breeding ground for showy materialism and worst of all, obligation. This is easily applicable to Valentine's Day although I would argue that it extends to most holidays (nothing says I love you like Halloween?).
When I refer to materialism and obligation, I don't mean to denounce the entire practice of gift-giving. In fact, picking out a gift for someone, though it can be challenging, carries its own unique reward, and sometimes physical objects are a decent way to show someone you care, if they're meaningful in their own right and not necessarily in a traditional sense of "worth". The problem we run into with holidays is that it's scheduled gift giving (which, come to think of it, is actually the least socially awkward way to give someone a gift without them having to worry about what it should mean to them) and that can mean obligation. It can mean rushing out an hour before the event to find something because someone expects something from you.
So I think about all this and try to decide what that means I think of Valentine's Day, in particular. Although it's easier said than done, I think it's fine to get people gifts if that's what you want to do, and perhaps only then. And even though I mentally may not subscribe to this gift giving (what I do in practice is sometimes another story), I think it would be wrong, elitist almost, to dismiss this holiday, or any other, as merely another day (bitterness aside, that's a completely different aspect). Yes, it's totally arbitrary, and maybe it doesn't really mean anything. Maybe it was invented by greeting card companies and maybe it is just an excuse to eat candy. But sometimes I think we need a day to be special, all on its own. What we make of it then is up to us.
When I refer to materialism and obligation, I don't mean to denounce the entire practice of gift-giving. In fact, picking out a gift for someone, though it can be challenging, carries its own unique reward, and sometimes physical objects are a decent way to show someone you care, if they're meaningful in their own right and not necessarily in a traditional sense of "worth". The problem we run into with holidays is that it's scheduled gift giving (which, come to think of it, is actually the least socially awkward way to give someone a gift without them having to worry about what it should mean to them) and that can mean obligation. It can mean rushing out an hour before the event to find something because someone expects something from you.
So I think about all this and try to decide what that means I think of Valentine's Day, in particular. Although it's easier said than done, I think it's fine to get people gifts if that's what you want to do, and perhaps only then. And even though I mentally may not subscribe to this gift giving (what I do in practice is sometimes another story), I think it would be wrong, elitist almost, to dismiss this holiday, or any other, as merely another day (bitterness aside, that's a completely different aspect). Yes, it's totally arbitrary, and maybe it doesn't really mean anything. Maybe it was invented by greeting card companies and maybe it is just an excuse to eat candy. But sometimes I think we need a day to be special, all on its own. What we make of it then is up to us.