subjects are too hard
I am going to start by saying thank you...and you know who you are. I find it comforting to know people are glad I am back, or have been wondering where I have gone, even if I don't really know you. So again, thank you.
So many of my thoughts are with this situation I have found myself currently a part of. It seems the easiest option to cut my losses and walk away, despite the actual act being ridiculously hard. I decided a long time ago that I didn't really have anything to loose, so have told him everything. His general response is that he already knew, so why do I still feel so lost and confused? Really, it's because he is so vague with anything he says to me that I never know where I stand with him. He says he loves speaking to me, yet seemingly makes no attempt to contact me. He says he would love for something to happen, but the distance is what is preventing him. I realise the distance is a huge issue and an issue that really can stop something from happening, but is the distance simply being used as an excuse?
There are so few people I meet that I feel I have some sort of connection with. So few people that I want to be the great girlfriend to. So few that can make me laugh with the greatest of ease. So few that I want there to be and can see a future with. As fortunate/unfortunate as it is, he is one of those few. Yet I feel as though he is messing me around. But the one thing I continue to stand by is that he has absolutely nothing to gain my stringing me along. I have told him how frustrated I feel and he says he wishes he could give me the answers, but you never know what tomorrow will bring. That to me is too cryptic. I don't really even know what it is I want from him in terms of the future. What I do know is that I want the opportunity to get to know him better and I don't want to look back knowing that the only reason we never tried was because of the distance. I just see it as being a circumstance that can be overcome. Yes it would be difficult, but isn't it worth trying or have I seen too many Meg Ryan movies?
In all honesty, I'm not angry at him. If I am angry at anyone it is myself. I walked myself into this situation not blind to what was going to happen. It's funny, reading back over what I had written before about this guy, it turns out he was the one trying to talk me into meeting him.
I really believe that we meet people that we connect with like this for a reason. Unless the world is trying to tell me that there are people out there that I am going to think are great but that I can't have, there has to be a reason. And honestly, I don't have the patience to wait and find out what that is. But I do feel as though the world is pointing and laughing at me. Laughing at the fact that I have met someone that I think is amazing and I can't have them in any capacity. I just find it unbelievable that I manage to find myself in situations such as these. I wish for a normal life.
So many of my thoughts are with this situation I have found myself currently a part of. It seems the easiest option to cut my losses and walk away, despite the actual act being ridiculously hard. I decided a long time ago that I didn't really have anything to loose, so have told him everything. His general response is that he already knew, so why do I still feel so lost and confused? Really, it's because he is so vague with anything he says to me that I never know where I stand with him. He says he loves speaking to me, yet seemingly makes no attempt to contact me. He says he would love for something to happen, but the distance is what is preventing him. I realise the distance is a huge issue and an issue that really can stop something from happening, but is the distance simply being used as an excuse?
There are so few people I meet that I feel I have some sort of connection with. So few people that I want to be the great girlfriend to. So few that can make me laugh with the greatest of ease. So few that I want there to be and can see a future with. As fortunate/unfortunate as it is, he is one of those few. Yet I feel as though he is messing me around. But the one thing I continue to stand by is that he has absolutely nothing to gain my stringing me along. I have told him how frustrated I feel and he says he wishes he could give me the answers, but you never know what tomorrow will bring. That to me is too cryptic. I don't really even know what it is I want from him in terms of the future. What I do know is that I want the opportunity to get to know him better and I don't want to look back knowing that the only reason we never tried was because of the distance. I just see it as being a circumstance that can be overcome. Yes it would be difficult, but isn't it worth trying or have I seen too many Meg Ryan movies?
In all honesty, I'm not angry at him. If I am angry at anyone it is myself. I walked myself into this situation not blind to what was going to happen. It's funny, reading back over what I had written before about this guy, it turns out he was the one trying to talk me into meeting him.
I really believe that we meet people that we connect with like this for a reason. Unless the world is trying to tell me that there are people out there that I am going to think are great but that I can't have, there has to be a reason. And honestly, I don't have the patience to wait and find out what that is. But I do feel as though the world is pointing and laughing at me. Laughing at the fact that I have met someone that I think is amazing and I can't have them in any capacity. I just find it unbelievable that I manage to find myself in situations such as these. I wish for a normal life.