Stereotypical Love !
Sometimes in life things are not what you expect. In life this mostly leads to dissapointment, however not in this case.
Love
For some people this is butterflies in the stomach, the lighting bolt, intense emotion and much more. In the past I have searched for this perfect relationship. My desire to find 'true love' has usually far outweighed any facts regarding my relationships. In an attempt to find love at first sight I generally ignore any warning signs that may occur.
The Outcome
This has led to my heart being broken many times. Relationships never really stand up to my expectations. Do I therefore search for the impossible? Am I looking for propaganda, the pegasus as such. Each time I thought I was 'in love' I now know that I was infatuated with the idea of being in love, so much so that I make events more positive to ensure I STAY in love. this of course leads to being walked all over.
What's Changed
For the first time ever I am moving slowly. With Carl there is no fear of being cheated on, I think he knows that it is a no go area, as it would be for me. This of course will stand the test of time, however to allow our friendship to withstand the relationship, ending honesty must stay in place.
I feel no urgency to see him, unlike I usually would, I am quite happy to spend time apart, and in most cases, want to. I have friends to see and different social circles to explore regularly. The best part about this is that he has the same view. Therefore spending time apart is more a case of spending time with others. As such I do not 'miss' him. Not in the stereotypical way that I am supposed to.
I suppose what I am trying to say is that although for the first time I am not feeling head over heels and not getting 'lighting bolt' syndrome, I am getting much more.
The balance of friendship and lovers means that I am relaxed in the relationship, it is not stressful, no anxiety just cheerful, filled with laughter and fun.
Although this is not how I though I SHOULD feel, it feels so much better.
Where as once upon a time I would have felt like crying at the idea of a night away from my partner, now it's just time for me to see other friends.
I'm not even willing to say that I am in love, I am not yet at the stage where that assessment could be made, infact I think there is much more to do and learn before it would be accurate to say anything of the sort. All I know is that I am happy and in a relationship which makes me feel good and up to now has no negative aspects at all. This is not at all like me, but unexpectedly refreshing at the same time.
Angie x x