All Out of Love !
Is It Possible to Fall Out of Love?
Or do we believe we are in love when we really aren't?
I met Lew and immediately fell in love with him, believing that there was an instant deeper connection there. As the weeks have passed I have had doubts about the future. Is it right to rationalise a relationship? Looking at the pro's and con's of the situation?
After the accident I cannot drive, how long for is uncertain. Lew not driving was not an issue previously, however this changed when I was no longer able to pick him up. I realised that once a week was not often enough for me to see him, this feeling was made worse due to not working and therefore being alone most of the day.
Conversation
Conversation between me and my friends flows easily and the silences are comfortable. Whenever I see one of them we never run out of gossip or general chat, failing that we examine stupid theories and life and sometimes even politics. This is not the same for me and Lew, is it because we don't have similar interests or is it awkward for other reasons.
In some cases I would wonder if I had given this enough time and thought, but normally I either click with people conversationally straight away or not at all.
Confusion
Overall I just don't know. I thought I knew what I wanted, but things changed, my attitude changed. I have broken up with him and feel awful that I have hurt him. It would seem nicer however to walk away with my uncertainty than stay and make things worse.
I don't know why things changed, or the exact time and cause, just that impressions changed and feelings altered. I feel terrible for what I have done, I do not know how to wind back time and change everything. I know when things don't work out that someone always gets hurt but I was hoping to not have to do that to anyone. Usually I am on the receiving end, therefore I have tried to do this right and talk things through, try and offer as much information as possible to help him understand. I don't think I have succeeded, but time will tell.
Right Decision?
As for whether this is the right decision I do not know. Only time will tell, however being the believer in fate that I am, it will not matter. If we are meant to be together then destiny will bring us back together, if not, it wont and we will both move on to find someone who is perfect for us.
Angie x x