you make me wanna looooooooooose
isteps aren't too bad. but with my luck i'll still fail. i'm sitting at home right now talking to janjan on aim and updating my myspace.. of course. in about 2 hours janjan and i are going to hang out with jake. i really do care about jake. he means alot to me. and he's a great guy. i just don't know if i want to be with him right now. i don't want to be with aaron at all anymore. he was a total dick to me today in speech. i can't even repeat what he said. i will still be really upset though if paige and aaron go out. he was my first love and all.. and i still love him, but after what he said.. i don't know if i can ever forgive him. i don't know how my friendship is with paige right now. i feel like she might be keeping things from me about her and aaron. i just wish she would tell me what is going on. tomorrow is the auden and my only remedy show. i don't know if i'm going to go yet. mostly because i don't have a ride and i actually don't have $5.hanging out with jake really is starting to become a problem. we are both lonely and we both want someone. he wants me and i want a hug. and he doesn't deserve someone who doesn't know if they want to be with him. because he couldn't be a better guy. my dad is leaving for a week with my sister to go to minnesota in about a month or so. and he's leaving my brother and i here with my 21 year old cousin. its going to be so awesome, i can't wait. i'm failing biology. not good. i'm passing all my other classes with good grades though. i don't even know how i started failing biology. and i don't know why i started writing in this again. i have people to talk to about these things. ever since my dad got home he has been talking about the family going to go see a therepist type deal. so starting saturday i'll have one more person to talk to. i have to go i think at 12 on saturday afternoon. i really hope it doesn't interfear with mal's berfday party. i'm hoping that day will be really fun. free movie and free dinner what could go wrong right? well i feel like this is kinda pointless so i'm going to go do more chores before my dad gets home then take a shower before i go out. i'll update later tonight maybe. i'm tired of feeling sick and useless.
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