Fic Collab Chapter 6

Aug 18, 2010 17:49

The madness continues!! XD Bug and I have a new chapter for you! The het is officially OVER. Bring on the MANxMAN sexxins!

Thank you so much for all the reviews so far. We've really enjoyed writing this, and it's just an added bonus to know that our readers are liking it. Love you guys! Enjoy! :D

Note: We don't own One Piece or anything, but I plan on kidnapping Eiichiro Oda and making him sell the franchise to us.

Thank you bronzetigress for beta! xD

Title: The Nature Of Things
Authors: sinisterbug and stark_black
Rating: Big fat R to NC-17
Paring: Zoro/hookers, Sanji/hookers, and eventually Zoro/Sanji/Zoro
Warnings: Yaoi, language, and general retarded-ness.
Summary: When the Sunny docks, Sanji and Zoro sometimes seek out relief in some not so savory places. After crossing paths in town on more than one occasion, the two find they have a lot more in common than they would like to admit.



Zoro had never experienced anxiety in the form of his stomach turning in on itself and then burning up in what felt like acid, but he made sure to take note of the experience. It was that feeling where something so bad had just happened so unexpectedly, that his skeleton seemed to jerk under his skin and it left an unpleasant after-tingle.

Sanji was doing that dog-like circling/pacing thing in front of him, and he hadn’t said a word since he’d climbed into the crow’s nest and interrupted Zoro’s nap. With nothing on his mind except that Sanji must’ve had a change of heart and he really did loathe Zoro’s existence, he admitted somewhere in the back of his mind that it was probably the worst way to wake up. Ever.

Suddenly the cook stopped and faced Zoro with an accusatory look. “I was just invited by a male prostitute to have dinner with him and his male prostitute friends at your male prostitute brothel.”

Zoro blinked. “What?”

“Don’t suppose you know a guy that looks just fucking like me back at that place?”

That same streak of anxiety ran through the swordsman again, and he summoned every ounce of self control not to react suspiciously to that statement.

“Christian.”

“Not likely,” Sanji muttered somewhat sourly.

The agitated blond put his hands on his hips and began pacing again.

“Why the hell would this guy ask me to dinner? And I made really fucking sure that’s all he wanted, because the last thing I need is another misunderstanding that involves some guy’s mouth on my dick.” He added, “No offense.”

“None taken.”

“So what the hell?” His gaze fell on Zoro, demanding an explanation.

Zoro shrugged. “I don’t know.”

Sanji’s eyes narrowed, as if he wasn’t quite sure he was going to accept that answer.

“Do they ever… kidnap straight men and try to turn them?”

Zoro stared deadpan at Sanji for a moment before lying back down and turning over. “Was it really necessarily to wake me up for this?”

“You’re coming with me.”

Zoro grunted in response.

Sanji grunted and hesitated only a moment before abruptly turning on his heels and leaving. There was no use in trying to rouse an irritated swordsman from his desired slumber. It was like trying to keep Sanji from staring at Nami’s cleavage. Why deprive a simple creature of his simple pleasures now, when you can wake him up with a bucket of cold water later?

***

Maybe Zoro had heard Sanji’s thoughts, but he was up and showering well before Sanji felt the need to contemplate waking him in unpleasant ways.

He made a point to observe Sanji throughout the early hours of the evening, watching him with feigned disinterest as he cooked dinner, griped at Usopp for having the nerve to complain about the fact that Zoro and Sanji never spent time with the rest of the crew when they hit land, and animatedly discussed agricultural habits on islands in West Blue with Robin. Then, after dinner had been served and enjoyed (Zoro and Sanji stayed, but ate lightly, if only because Sanji did not want to burden/trust something as complicated as dinner with Luffy to anyone else on the crew), Zoro paid much closer attention to Sanji as he seemed to hesitate in the kitchen after dinner before hurriedly going to shower - almost as if he wasn’t sure he should or not. Or maybe that was Zoro using his brain a lot more in one evening than he cared to in a good week. But then the chef hesitated much longer in the boy’s bunk picking clothes, too. Or, at least, Zoro assumed that’s what he was doing, since he refused to go as far as following him in there just to see what he did.

And anyway, Zoro only noticed his clothes because they were so dramatically different from what he normally wore. The swordsman was irritated (but not surprised, to make it worse) to think that he’d stored knowledge of Sanji’s wardrobe in his brain at all, but the chef really had achieved a different look this evening.

His hair was a bit… undone, was perhaps the word. He looked like he’d just run his fingers through it. And, again, Zoro only noticed because Sanji was usually so prim, but he hadn’t shaved, either. For the first time in what seemed like maybe ever, the cook was sporting a god damn five o’clock shadow. He wore a black button-up shirt that was unbuttoned down to his sternum, and his shirt collar was askew, with no tie to be seen. Sleeves rolled up, black slacks, black shoes.

There was no obnoxious polka dotted tie to soften the image, no goofy grin on his stupid face. His expression seemed lost, like he wasn’t sure from which angle to approach this situation. It was beyond Zoro’s observational abilities to guess what was going through Sanji’s mind at that point, however, so he decided to leave it at that and head to the brothel. If he got there first, he could maybe try and figure out what the hell Christian thought he was doing by inviting Sanji to dinner.

***
Zoro was exactly right. Sanji had no god damn idea what he was doing.

The cook figured the gruffer he looked, the less likely he was to be fucked with, if such a thing were to occur. Then again, these were gay men he was dealing with here. Perhaps looking manlier was only going to get him more admirers. But if that wasn’t the case, and he dressed with his usual flair, someone might mistake him for being one of them, and…

He looked at himself in the mirror for a moment before he slowly sank into a squat. He rested his elbows on his knees and put his chin in his hands. What was he doing? Was he really going to do this? He could just give Christian’s coin to Zoro and have the swordsman take it back to the brothel for him. He didn’t have to go at all…

But then there was the inevitable taunting session that would ensue. He would never, ever hear the end of it if he backed out now. He could handle it. He was going to go, and he was going to make like he wasn’t in the slightest bit scared.

Not that he actually was scared. No, no, no…

Sanji stood again, taking a deep breath, and smoothed out the front of his shirt. He pulled a cigarette from his breast pocket and placed it, unlit, between his teeth. He could do this, he could do this.

Maybe a white shirt would look more heterosexual?

***

As the swordsman walked the streets, he chuckled slightly at the memory of the brief conversation he’d had earlier with Sanji before dinner.

“You leave first, and meet me a few blocks away from the brothel.”

Zoro raised an eyebrow at him. “You want to meet up first?”

Sanji looked at him, confused. “They already know you, why wouldn’t we go together?”

The swordsman snorted. “Maybe because we could be recognized? Going together? To a male brothel?”

Sanji’s eyes widened and his nostrils flared. He let that sink in for a moment and then said, “Well, I suppose this is why I keep you around.”

“Protecting Sanji’s heterosexual image, twenty-four hours, seven days a-“

Zoro ‘oofed’ and doubled over as Sanji walked away like he hadn’t just dug his knee in to Zoro’s solar plexus.

His attention returned to the present as he approached the brothel. He fished out his coin and walked up the few steps to the door. The street was fairly busy, but no one seemed to be paying him any mind, other than the guards stationed around the perimeter.

He knocked and the wooden slot slid open. He placed his coin inside and with much more efficiency this time, he was admitted and greeted by the host.

They exchanged brief greetings and Zoro once again acquiesced all but the most precious of his swords. It was peace-bound as before. Zoro half expected to be lead somewhere afterwards, but he was asked to wait in the lobby until his comrade arrived.

There went his chance to talk to Christian beforehand.

Sanji was only ten minutes or so behind Zoro, and the swordsman grinned to himself when he noticed that Sanji had changed his black shirt for a white one. He looked a little more like himself now.

The chef was greeted by the host (Zoro really needed to learn his name), and they were both escorted straight to the back of the building, and out the back door. Sanji kept his hands in his pockets and his eyes forward. He was tense, almost like he was ready for battle.

Zoro snorted and shook his head.

For one crazy moment, Zoro thought they were heading for the baths. He recognized some of the decorations lining the walls. The first time through here, he had stopped briefly to admire the scenes of warriors washing in serene pools painted on the hanging canvases. They must have made a few different turns, however, because they ended up in a courtyard of sorts.

Thinking back, that hot spring had seemed a little small to have been the only thing behind those high walls. Judging from the steam rising on the other side of the bamboo wall on his right, the… garden, he supposed it was, was right next to the bath.

They were directed to a low table at the back of the garden, which Zoro figured was the guest-of-honor table.

“Please help yourselves while you wait,” the maître d’ said, and from behind him emerged a thin, handsome young man with a tray of sake.

He smiled kindly but kept his eyes downcast as he served them both without saying a word. It was painfully quiet, until Sanji started in on Zoro again as the server left.

“So what the hell is this, Zoro? Seriously?”

***

Zoro shrugged and helped himself to his drink. “What is what?”

The cook rolled his eyes. Sanji didn’t know what to think when he’d walked in, and he didn’t know what to think now. First there was the lavish parlor and a well trained maître d’, and then a really expensive looking back yard (which, to Sanji’s eyes, was pretty much what it was).

“This. Everything.”

“I don’t know,” Zoro shrugged again. “Prostitutes are weird. But its free booze and I’m likely going to get laid again for no charge. I wasn’t not going to come.”

Sanji would normally have laughed, but suddenly he realized that even though he’d been rather blasé about all of this, he was likely going to witness to a lot more man-on-man action than he was used to (which was none). And while the prospect of observing Zoro in different environments with women prostitutes had been downright fascinating, he did not honestly know what he was going to do if some guy just jumped Zoro right in front of him, as was apt to happen at a regular brothel.

“If you’re not going to relax enough to enjoy this, you should just leave,” Zoro said, throwing back another saucer of sake.

Sanji looked up from his own saucer (which he hadn’t realized he was staring into until that point) and frowned. “I’m here, aren’t I? What makes you think I’m not relaxed?”

“Oh, I dunno,” Zoro muttered, and poured himself another. “Your rigid spine, the look of sheer terror on your face, the anxiety that’s so thick around you it stinks.”

Sanji drank and shook his shoulders loose. There wasn’t any point arguing that he wasn’t exactly in his element. But if Zoro could relax, so could he. If he wasn’t here for sex, then it was just like hanging out with a bunch of men. He did that all the time on the Sunny.

There were several notable differences about that situation and this, but Sanji convinced himself it didn’t matter.

“Did you seriously give them your other swords?” Sanji eyed the way Zoro’s most important weapon was wrapped and tied with black ribbon.

Zoro nodded. “They let me in here and treat me really well. The least I can do is follow their rules and relinquish my weapons.”

“But you have the white one still.”

Zoro nodded again and drank. “She’s peace bound. I’m very lucky and very honored they let me keep her.”

Sanji took another slow swallow, thinking. If they were willing to give that one courtesy, bend a rule like that so Zoro could keep his precious sword, this place might not be so bad after all.

“Comfortable?” a smooth voice wafted up from behind Sanji. “Is there anything else I can get for you two?”

The effect that Christian’s voice had on Sanji was perplexing. Even as he felt relief at hearing a familiar timbre, the cook’s body tensed at its proximity. The way the prostitute had moved swiftly and quietly into his space was almost uncanny.

“Hey,” Zoro said softly, raising a hand in greeting.

“Hello, Zoro,” Christian said over Sanji’s shoulder. “It’s very nice to see you again.”

Zoro’s lips curved like the man has said something funny. “You, too.”

It annoyed Sanji how Zoro’s manner had changed so drastically. The swordsman was terse with him, but then Christian shows up and suddenly the bastard’s all sweet and syrup.

The cook slowly looked over his shoulder, making a physical effort to not glare the prostitute into stone. He was about to voice his own greeting and thank the man for inviting them to dinner, but the words halted on his tongue.

This has got to be a joke.

Christian was dressed almost identically to himself, right down to the studded belt. His hair was blown dry, but uncombed. Their shirts could have come off the same rack from the same god damned vendor.

The blond smiled down at him with an impish look in his eye. “Welcome, Sanji,” he hummed. “I’m very glad you decided to join us this evening.”

Sanji had been sure from the first moment he had seen this man, that he had some sort of hidden agenda. The cook had no idea what it could possibly be, but Sanji was never one to play into someone else’s hands, and he wasn’t going to start today. That look, that challenge in Christian’s eyes settled Sanji’s nerves better than any reassurances from Zoro ever could.

The cook lifted his saucer and saluted the prostitute superciliously. “It’s my pleasure.” He tossed the remainder of his drink back, and set the saucer back on the table with a flourish. He then leaned back and pulled out all the stops, smiling the most charming and arrogant smile in his repertoire.

“Nice outfit.”

***

Zoro knew the fact that Christian resembled Sanji would not go unnoticed. But god damnit, he hadn’t expected Christian to show up looking like Sanji’s twin! Now the fact was stupidly obvious! They had even done their hair the same way! Sanji already had a knack for putting two and two together, so when the cook stopped ruffling his feathers and took a second to think about things, the shit was really going to hit the fan.

This had been a stupid idea. Why had he come again? Oh yeah, free sex. But what the hell was Christian thinking? Was he trying to get Zoro killed? Were these prostitutes so bored that their only entertainment was screwing with pirates passing through? Figuratively speaking?

The swordsman bit back a growl and watched the two blonds make scary eyes at each other. Any other time, in any other situation, Zoro would have sat back and enjoyed the show. The two of them were hot together. Fucking hot. But Zoro’s body and mind were too tense at that moment to dwell on that particular line of thought. He felt like he should be readying for a bloody battle, rather than a quiet dinner in a garden.

When the doors opened once again, Zoro was ready for any number of things, but Roman was not one of them.

The prostitute wore soft, cotton pants, and a dark blue shirt, unbuttoned. With his tanned chest showing, and his sleeves rolled up to the elbows, most of his tattoos were visible. Gold hung from his ears and around his neck, and his black hair was pulled back in a tight knot. He looked every bit the rake Zoro had first imagined him to be, and glancing at Sanji, the cook no doubt was catching the same vibe.

“Well, well, well,” Roman said in his cool bass. “You got both of them to show. I’m impressed, Chris.” He moved close and bowed deeply to Sanji. “Welcome, friend. My name is Roman, and I am at your service. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to make your stay more enjoyable.”

Zoro watched Sanji’s jaw work as the cook gave Roman a once over. He seemed a little more at ease with Roman than he did with Christian. The swordsman couldn’t understand why, but Sanji’s mind had always been a little unfathomable to him anyway.

“Hello,” Sanji said carefully. “And uh, thank you, I guess.”

“Christian has asked me to join him this evening. I hope you don’t mind.”

Sanji shrugged. “I don’t mind.” The cook reached for his pocket, but then stopped, his fingers tapping the fabric outlining the corners of his cigarette pack.

“Can I smoke in here?”

Roman nodded. “Please. I’ll have one with you, if that’s all right.”

Sanji seemed to perk up and nodded, offering his lighter when Roman procured his own hand-rolled smoke from some hidden pocket. Roman sat beside Sanji and the two went through the familiar motions of lighting up.

“Fast friends,” Christian murmured with a smile. He sat beside Zoro and across from Sanji, folding his long body onto the cushions with practiced grace.

Zoro grunted, (watching with mounting annoyance from the corner of his eye) as Sanji tipped his head and leaned in close to Roman’s flame. It wasn’t fair. Sanji treated him like crap all the time, but then Roman comes along and, even though the damn cook knows what he is and what he does, gets all chummy with him in ten seconds.

The swordsman had witnessed this strange behavior before. From one end of the world to the other, people of different backgrounds, races, and cultures could all come together for a cigarette. Two people, who wouldn’t have normally given each other the time of day, could talk like old friends when sharing a smoke. Zoro thought how funny it was that breathing toxic fumes into one’s lungs could create such an impenetrable brotherhood.

Maybe he should take up smoking.

“So what’s on the menu?” Sanji asked, pocketing his pack and lighter.

Christian leaned onto the table, effectively placing himself almost in Zoro’s lap. “Miles will bring out a wine list and tell us what’s been prepared in a few minutes.”

The swordsman moved to gently push Christian off, but then remembered he didn’t have to pretend around Sanji anymore. The cook knew his secret, and had willingly come with him to a male brothel. Zoro was going to mind his manners, but if Sanji had come here thinking that because he was present, the swordsman was not taking what was being offered, the fucking love-cook had another think coming.

Zoro leaned an elbow on the table, and nonchalantly slid his hand over Christian’s ass. He made like nothing was happening as his fingers pinched the soft fabric and skin on the blond’s inner thigh.

Christian squeaked and twisted around playfully and fixed him with a mock glare.

“Stop it,” he whined, his lips sliding into a pout.

Oh, if he could just get Sanji to talk to him like that…

“What?” Zoro teased, lifting an eyebrow innocently.

Christian snickered and slid slowly away, letting his fingers brush across Zoro’s forearm. He settled back into the cushions and busied himself with pouring more sake.

“Just ignore them,” Zoro heard Roman murmur. “Christian has no manners.”

Zoro liked the way Christian’s eye sparkled at Roman’s comment. He tore his eyes away from one blond, to glance at another across the table. Sanji was watching him with a peculiar look on his face, but to Zoro’s relief, it wasn’t contempt.

“No,” the cook said softly. “It’s fine. The marimo doesn’t either.”

Zoro would have made some sort of remark to respond to Sanji’s antagonistic comment, but Christian spoke first.

“Well, we’ll try not to freak you out too much,” Christian said, sipping at his sake. “Hopefully you enjoy the meal, and if it makes you more comfortable to know, all the other companions here have been told that you’re ‘hands off’.”

“Other companions?” Sanji asked slowly, “Are we dining with others?”

Roman shook his head. “Not dining. But after dinner, we have entertainment planned.”

Zoro tried not to choke on his sake at the look on Sanji’s face.

“Entertainment?” the cook cracked. “I really don’t-”

Christian laughed, cutting him off. “Not that kind of entertainment. We are prostitutes, as you well know, but we have many things besides sex to offer. We have among us poets, dancers, magicians, artists, chefs, musicians… We are sure to have something to please every man that walks through our doors. Even you, Blackleg Sanji.”

“You have chefs?”

Christian smiled. “The finest.”

Zoro watched Sanji’s eyebrow cock as his shipmate’s confidence slowly returned. The swordsman could see the tension leave Sanji’s shoulders, the spark return to his eyes. The cook curled his fingers around his cigarette and breathed in slow and deep.

“Could I be entertained by seeing your kitchens?”

“Of course.” Roman stood suddenly, motioning for the cook to follow him. “I’ll take you.”

Sanji crushed out his cigarette in his empty saucer and stood. He saluted Christian, and turned to follow Roman through the gates without a glance in Zoro’s direction. The swordsman started to protest, totally annoyed that Sanji was leaving with Roman, and totally pissed off that he was annoyed at all, but Christian stopped him by placing a hand on his thigh.

Zoro turned to growl at the smaller man, but immediately his disapproval caught in his throat. Christian had shifted his position, putting himself on his hands and knees. He slowly moved forward, graceful and lithe like a cat. His hair fell into his eyes, making him look so much like Sanji it made Zoro’s mouth water.

“He’ll be fine.” Christian licked his lower lip. “Roman will take care of him.”

Zoro swallowed. “That’s kind of what I’m afraid of.”

“You can follow in a minute,” Christian chuckled as he crawled up into Zoro’s lap. He ghosted his lips over the swordsman’s jaw, breath warm against Zoro’s skin. “But I wanted a quick appetizer before dinner.”

Zoro shot a quick glance toward the gates. A fleeting thought about Sanji being molested by a man other than himself skittered through his mind. But really, who was he kidding? Roman was a well-built guy, but Sanji was… well, Sanji. If the prostituted tried anything, he may very well end up with his ass in his own mouth.

Hands slid down Zoro’s stomach, and the swordsman’s attention returned to Christian. He leaned back on his hands, giving the blond more room to apply his talents.

“This isn’t going to spoil my dessert, is it?” Zoro asked, smirking.

Christian moved up to nip at Zoro’s lips. “Hell no.”

***

“So, how are you liking it?” Roman asked as they made their way through sumptuously decorated halls.

“Uh,” the cook stammered, “It’s fine… Interesting…”

Sanji couldn’t believe the décor. The place was like a palace. Never before had he seen a brothel in such good repair, or so modern. They must make a fortune.

“So, I have a question.”

Roman looked at Sanji over his shoulder. “Alright…”

Sanji glanced at a painting hanging on the wall, but turned away quickly when he realized the tangle of limbs had multiple male parts.

“Just out of curiosity… y’know, based on my observations… what kind of price difference are you looking at for a night here, and a night at a high class uh… regular brothel?”

Roman chuckled. “Well, that really depends on who you are, and where you are. But according to what I’ve heard, this is one and a half times the cost of this town’s most prestigious heterosexual brothel.”

“For a night?”

Roman grinned and nodded. Sanji whistled. “I mean, paying for the expensive set up, I get it. But I guess I thought since women were more in demand, they’d be paid more. Thus they’d be more expensive.”

The dark-haired man snorted. “Women are more in demand? They’re more visible. That doesn’t mean they’re more in demand. I'm sure every island you’ve visited has had a male brothel. This place is just more out in the open. We have our precautions because of travelers and pirates from far away, but for the most part, the residents here don’t mind us.”

Sanji highly doubted that men were in more demand than women, but it did make him reconsider just how popular male brothels were.

“Still, one and a half times the cost? Sable was pretty swanky.”

“Yeah, but I’m sure this Sable place had minimum to no security. Think about it.”

The chef avoided looking at a statue of two naked men, contemplating the unusual bits of knowledge he was receiving. They rounded a few more corners in silence before the smell of chives and spiced meat hit Sanji’s nostrils.

“Oh, wow,” the cook hummed. “That smells fucking great!”

Roman flashed him one more raffish smile before he pushed open the doors to a bustling kitchen. Inside were men in a simple uniform of black slacks and light blue t-shirts. They wore various bandannas and caps over their heads as opposed to the traditional chef’s hats or hair nets. They looked up from chopping or stirring as Sanji entered, giving him an appraising once over and smiling warmly.

Roman waved and spoke over the hum of the ovens. “Evening. This is Sanji. He’s a friend of Zoro’s. He wanted to see the kitchen.”

There was a moment where everything seemed to freeze. All eyes turned back to Sanji, staring in disbelief.

“S…Sanji?” a cook at the prep table choked out. “As in Blackleg Sanji?”

Roman chuckled, nodding.

There was movement again, and a short man with reddish-brown hair emerged from around the rack of pots and pans. He moved forward, wiping his hand on an apron colored with various ingredients before he offered it to Sanji.

“Welcome, Blackleg,” he said in a raspy tenor. “My name is Miles. I’m the head chef here. We’re honored to have you.”

Sanji took the man’s hand, flattered and a little caught off guard. “Um, thank you. Pleasure’s all mine.” Oh, oops… Was that a good thing to say here?

“I, uh.” Miles’ cheeks, which had been slightly pink before, started to turn the color of tomatoes. “What can we do for you?”

Roman had moved to the prep table, and was crunching away on a sliced carrot. “Sanji here wanted to give our kitchens an inspection.” His grin grew wide as Miles nearly toppled.

“No! No!” Sanji reassured before Miles could actually pass out. “I just wanted to see. Christian said the chefs here were great. I was just curious.”

Miles wrung his hands, glancing from table to table nervously. “Ah, alright. Oh, if I’d known…”

Sanji smiled, understanding. He moved forward, placing a hand on the small man’s shoulder. “I just wanted to get an advance on the menu. Maybe see some things prepared. Everything smells wonderful, and I’m very impressed at how clean everything is.”

Miles looked up at him with big eyes for a long moment. Finally, he blinked and clapped his hands loudly. “Alright! Everyone! Back to what you were doing! Look sharp, look sharp! Let’s show him what we've got!”

Sanji glanced over at Roman. The tattooed man had moved to the back of the kitchen to sit on an unused table. He crunched merrily on what looked like another carrot stick, and watched Sanji with an amused smile.

“Sanji,” Miles said at his side, “if you would just come with me…”

Sanji followed the chef, nodding to a handsome dark-haired man standing over a flaming grill.

“For amuse-bouche,” Miles began, “Link has prepared ‘Essence of Butternut Squash, Presented with a Seared Sea Scallop, Chive Oil and Young Seedlings’. He has also done the appetizer, which is ‘Pan Seared Lump Crab Cake, Presented with Fire Roasted Corn and Cilantro Relish, Smoked Chipotle Aioli, and Butter Poached Leeks’.”

“That the relish?” Sanji pointed to a covered bowl.

Link’s eyes widened, and he pulled the top from the bowl. Miles procured a small spoon, and handed it to Sanji. The blond took a small helping from the edge and brought it to his mouth. He rolled the mixture over his tongue, chewing slowly to let the flavor blossom.

“Is your crab cake spicy?” Sanji asked Link.

The dark-haired man nodded again, looking frightened.

Sanji nodded. “Excellent then. The hot from the cake with the cool from the relish will balance nicely.”

Link let out a long sigh, his shoulders relaxing significantly. He smiled then, and his appreciation and adoration were so apparent, for a moment Sanji felt a little like a god.

Miles continued on, and Sanji followed. “Next, for the entrée, is ‘Roasted Beet Carpaccio, Presented with Seared Goat Cheese, Beet Syrup, Aged Balsamic Reduction and Mache Greens’.”

The man at the second station was beautiful like a woman. His white hair was long, and braided down his back. His eyes were large and sparkling green. They watched Sanji as he moved in close to sniff at the beets. He was obviously not as shy as Miles or Link.

“What’s your name?” Sanji asked.

The green-eyed man smiled. “Tristin.”

Sanji plucked a slice of beet from the pan, and slipped it into his mouth. He rolled it, like he had the relish. After a few moments, he turned back to Tristin. The cook’s eyes hadn’t left him. He watched expectantly for Sanji to speak. Sanji felt a strange sense of power humming in his nerves at being watched and appraised like that.

Sanji smiled, nodding his head. “Your reduced vinegar is a little sweet, but it’ll be great with the goat cheese.” He took another beet before he moved away, slipping it into his mouth a little slower than last time. “I’ll be looking forward to this one.”

He felt those green eyes on him as he moved with Miles to the next station.

I think this all might be going to my head a little.

***

Zoro ran the fingers of one hand through Christian’s soft hair. He rested his weight on his other arm, propped behind him on the table. He watched the blond’s lips as they slid over his erection, slowly, with such skill it had the swordsman almost twitching.

Getting head from a woman was good in its own way, but nothing beat a man’s knowing and experienced mouth. Who better to give it to you than someone who knows exactly how it feels? This was something Sanji needed to understand. Both sexes had something to give you. Women had tenderness, softness, sweet smells and glossy hair. Men had muscle, passion, power, challenge.

Zoro let out a breath when Christian looked up at him with those blue eyes. This was a guilty pleasure come to life. A fantasy so much like the one he created for himself on a regular basis, he worried that if he closed his eyes, when he opened them, he would be back in the crow’s nest with nothing around his cock but his own fingers.

He had felt that disappointment before, and wasn’t excited to feel it again anytime soon.

Christian’s hand gripped him hard. His tongue worked Zoro’s length like no one had in a long time. Zoro leaned back, giving himself over to the pressure he felt building in his loins.

“Whatever you do,” Zoro said softly, “don’t let Sanji know we did this so close to the table.”

Christian smiled around Zoro’s arousal, moving to take the swordsman in deeper. He relaxed his throat, bringing his head forward and causing his bangs to fall over his face.

Zoro quickly brushed the blond hair away, wanting-needing to see those blue eyes. He felt himself getting closer. He glanced towards the door, the possibility of Sanji returning with Roman and seeing him like this fueling him further. He raised a knee, pressing a heel into the cushions, and threaded his fingers more firmly through Christian’s hair. The blond’s mouth moved faster, harder, deeper. His fingers massaged Zoro’s sack, slipped lower to press against the few inches of sensitive flesh.

Silently, with Christian’s eyes burned into his brain, and Sanji’s name on the tip of his tongue, Zoro clenched his teeth and came. He released into Christian’s hot mouth, tension draining almost instantly, and hard guilt filling up the spaces it had vacated.

***

Two young men, probably still in their teens, stood by the ovens. Both had pale blond hair and a mass of freckles. Sanji assumed they were brothers, maybe even twins. The resemblance was striking.

“Our main course tonight is ‘Grilled Fillet of Beef, Presented with Caramelized Shallot and Red Wine Reduction, Crisp Truffle Scented Potato Rosti, White Asparagus and Morel Mushrooms.”

“Hello, Sanji!” The first of the boys smiled.

The second waved a hand, a mirror of his brother. “We’re big fans.”

“Uh, thank you,” Sanji chuckled.

“You’re a lot more handsome then your wanted poster shows,” the first piped up.

“Yes,” the second added, “much more handsome.”

Sanji clenched his jaw at the mention of his wanted poster, but he managed to bow his head and be civil.

“Thank you. I hope to get a new one soon.”

The boys giggled and stepped aside as Sanji leaned in to inspect the meat. The smell was divine, and the color was consistent throughout. The first of the brothers cut off a small piece and offered it to Sanji with a wide smile.

“We’re still a little new to this, we’ve only been working here for a few months.”

“But Miles says we’re doing well,” the second added. “He let us do the main course ‘cause you really can’t go wrong with Potato Rosti.”

Sanji chuckled. “No, you really can’t.” He slipped the slice of meat in his mouth, instantly rewarded with texture and an explosion of savory flavors.

“Yup,” Sanji said, “Miles is right. You two do good work.”

The brothers glanced at each other, and then threw their hands in the air.

“Banzai!” they cried.

Chuckling, Sanji chewed the tender meat and swallowed. The food really was fantastic. He wondered why these men worked here at a brothel and not some prestigious restaurant or hotel somewhere. But then again, with the price of this place, they were probably paid more here than they would be at some fancy resort.

“We think it’s fine the way it is,” the brothers continued.

“Yes, we do. We based the recipe on a dish from the Baratie.”

“But, last time we prepared it, the guest said he wanted peppercorn.”

“We don’t think it needs peppercorn-”

“-It has a spice complementary to the wine reduction-”

“-If we add peppercorn-”

“-It diminishes the effect we’re trying to-”

“Arthur! Simon!” Miles interrupted the onslaught of chatter. “Mind your manners! Give Sanji a chance to reply for god’s sake!”

The brothers closed their mouths, but Sanji could tell the words were piling up behind their lips. He chuckled again, flattered that this kitchen knew him and respected his opinion so much. Even newbie cooks just starting out had heard of him, and had even researched the menu from his beloved Baratie.

“You’re right,” Sanji said. “Peppercorn will take away from the wine reduction. The meat will have too much spice.”

The brothers grinned, and slapped each other a high five.

Miles guided Sanji back to where they had started, smiling brilliantly. “Again, we are so very honored to have you here. I hope that the meal satisfies you. Because dessert has not set yet, I will send out the man who prepared it during the meal so you may critique him as well.”

Sanji nodded. “Sounds great. I really am impressed, you know. I didn’t expect to see what I did here. Your staff is excellent.”

Miles bowed deeply. “Thank you. Thank you very much, Blackleg Sanji.”

Sanji turned and met Roman at the door. The tattooed man was smiling knowingly as he held open the door for the cook.

“Enjoy yourself?” he teased.

“Shut up,” Sanji grinned. “Can I help it that I’m awesome?”

***

“So,” Sanji eyed Roman as he pulled his lighter from his pocket. “What’s this entertainment that’s planned for after dinner?” The two had stopped to take a smoke break before they returned to the garden. They leaned against a railing overlooking a side street. The evening sun was at their backs behind the building.

Roman smiled at the cook over his cigarette and shrugged. “I actually don’t know. This is all Christian’s baby. He thought up the whole thing.”

Sanji’s eyes narrowed in suspicion and he drew in a long drag. “I figured that. What’s his deal anyway?”

“He make you uncomfortable?”

Sanji shook his head. “No. Working as a chef at the Baratie, I crossed paths with a lot of different kinds of people… Different kinds of people with very… different kinds of appetites. Everyone can like or dislike whatever they want, it’s not my place to judge.”

Roman tilted his head, as if seeing Sanji for the first time. “That’s very… tolerant of you.”

“I didn’t say I liked it,” Sanji clarified. “I just… you love who or whatever you love. That’s no one’s business but your own.”

“Ah…” the tattooed man leaned over the railing, blowing a thin stream of smoke out into the open air of the ally. “So, you’re okay with Zoro then? It looked like you were gonna beat the shit out of him earlier today.”

Sanji’s hand stilled, the cigarette halfway to his mouth. “Excuse me?”

Roman shrugged. “You were waiting for him outside our place this morning. We saw you.”

Sanji’s head spun. That explained a lot.

“I, uh…” he puffed and attempted a lie. “That was about something completely different. It had nothing to do with where Zoro was. He could have been coming out of an opera and I still would have dragged him to the beach and cussed him out.”

Roman chuckled. The sound was a low rumble in his throat. “Well, that’s good, I guess. He’s a cool guy. It’s nice to know he has friends that’ll accept all of him.”

Sanji stared at the ground, not sure why the topic had changed to Zoro, but for some reason it seemed to fit. “He has a lot of other friends that would accept all of him too, I’m sure…”

Roman nodded. “It’s a hard thing to come clean about, especially out on the sea, being a pirate.”

Sanji remembered the look on Zoro’s face when he had plopped down on the sand beside the swordsman the day before. There had been such shock, such complete and utter surprise plastered across every hard feature of Zoro’s face. Sanji hadn’t taken that much notice of it at the time, but now, as he thought back on it, he remembered there had also been unmistakable relief in those dark eyes. A profound relief that Sanji might have actually taken advantage of, and now the cook felt a little ashamed over it.

The last of Sanji’s cigarette hung smoldering, forgotten between his fingertips. “I won’t let anyone give him shit over it.”

The cook felt a strong hand on his arm and turned to find Roman had straightened and was grinning at him merrily.

“You’re going to have so many fans after this night is over.”

Sanji sighed and shook his head. “Just as long as they keep their hands and… other stuff to themselves, I don’t really mind.”

“Oh, they will.” Roman nudged Sanji back inside playfully. “They just might not be able to control the brain-mouth filter.”

X x X x X

“So why are you doing this?” Zoro asked as Christian was midway through crawling into his lap. The satisfied smirk on his face turned inquisitive in a way that almost had Zoro fooled.

“Whatever else I am, I’m not an idiot.”

Christian raised an eyebrow and sat up, straddling Zoro and crossed his arms. “I could say the same to you. I seem to remember asking you the first night if I was playing the role of someone, and you said ‘No’. I think it’s pretty obvious that was a lie, even if you didn’t use his name or ask me to act like him. Not-” He bit his lip momentarily and seemed to search for words, which was a first since Zoro had met Christian. “Not that you’re obligated to be honest to a prostitute.”

Zoro frowned at that statement. “I-”

“If you want to know what I’m up to, I’ll tell you.”

Zoro sighed.

The smile returned to Christian’s lips and he slid forward slightly, running his hands up Zoro’s torso and stopping to massage his shoulders.

“It seems a damn waste, what you’re doing. So I thought maybe I’d give you a little help.”

“What I’m doing?”

“You’ll never tell him how you feel. Ever. Not without some help from him-”

Zoro’s gaze sharpened. “Now, wait a s-”

“Do you think I’m stupid enough to do anything that would clue him in to how you feel? There are other methods we can use to determine if he is ever going to be interested, so why not use them if there’s no risk of revealing you?”

Christian’s plea was so earnest, Zoro almost wondered why the companion was going so far out of his way for someone he didn’t know.

“Think about it. This isn’t a chance you’re likely to ever have again. Seeing us get intimate is, to Sanji, like looking in a mirror and watching himself get intimate with you. That’s got to garner some reaction from him; we just have to pay attention and figure out what that reaction is.”

“You’re just going to prove what I don’t want to know. There isn’t a chance. There never will be.”

The look on Christian’s face was close to horrified.

“Then how do you live like this? I knew the moment I saw the two of you together that you loved him-”

Zoro made to interrupt but Christian continued.

“-and I can’t imagine how broken you must be if this is acceptable to you. If living this way makes you happy.”

“It’s better than nothing,” Zoro said, a strong dose of finality in his voice.

Christian’s eyes narrowed like Zoro’s had. The swordsman cringed internally, thinking of how often he’d seen that look from a different man.

“You want me to stop? Honestly? Your raw curiosity or feelings for him don’t demand to be satisfied? Or will you trust me and my group of wily prostitutes to do what’s in your best interest?”

Zoro was ready with another retort, but suddenly he felt Christian tense. He was craning his head toward the door, as if to better hear.

“They’re right outside the door. Follow my lead if you trust me.”

That didn’t leave Zoro with many options. He wasn’t about to shove the man off his lap or storm out, so he just reacted as he normally would as Christian started planting soft kisses on his jaw. He heard Roman and Sanji return, and a sudden and unexpected surge of excitement ran through him. He couldn’t quite understand why, but every nerve in his body seemed to respond to knowing that Sanji could see him this way.

He murmured quietly, “Just don’t blow my cover.”

Christian smiled and replied, “You’re in good hands.”

X x X x X

Sanji followed Roman through the halls, back towards the open garden and dining area. When they reached the gate, Sanji heard a low murmur followed by a higher, breathy sound that stopped him in his tracks. He stood still for a moment, letting his fighter instinct take over. Listen. Evaluate. Don’t race to conclusions…

Roman halted before the gate and turned to him. “You all right, Sanji?”

The cook felt a strange sort of tightening in his gut as he realized the murmurings were indeed Zoro’s. What was he doing in there? If this were a regular brothel, Sanji wouldn’t put it past the swordsman to already be having his way with some woman on those lush cushions. But this was… they were… would he be doing that knowing Sanji was going to return? Seriously, if he walked in there and... Being okay with your friend’s sexuality was one thing. Walking in on your friend banging another guy was completely different.

“Sanji?” Roman asked again.

Sanji blinked. “Sorry, I…” Get it together. “Never mind,” he straightened his shirt and followed Roman through the gate.

It turned out it wasn’t as bad as Sanji thought… at first. Clothes were still on, no choice parts were hanging out of anywhere-not that he hadn’t already seen Zoro’s, well, everything several times now. Christian was just in Zoro’s lap, his legs straddling the swordsman’s hips in a very woman-like fashion. Zoro’s elbows were propped lazily behind him on the table top. The two were speaking in low tones and stealing kisses here and there. It wasn’t that bad, not really.

Until Sanji realized, for the second time, just how much Christian looked like him.

The cook almost stumbled as he made his way back to the table, but he managed to return to his seat without face-planting on the floor. He reached for the sake and poured himself a full cup, setting the bottle down in front of Roman in case the other man wanted some as well. He raised the cup to his lips and snuck another peek at the two men across from him.

Zoro wore that same, stupidly charming smile he always wore when slipping his hands discretely under hooker’s dresses. He did that same damned head tilt when he was teasing a prostitute out of her corset or camisole. The fucking swordsman was chuckling softly and rubbing his nose under Christian’s jaw and Sanji wanted to scream. If someone were to take a picture at this moment as Christian bent to whisper something into Zoro’s ear, no one would know the blond in Zoro’s lap wasn’t Sanji.

The whole thing was surreal, and Sanji hated himself for suddenly feeling a little out of body. It was like he was watching a “what if” scenario. He was getting a full, real life preview of how it would look if he decided one day to just climb up into Zoro’s lap and start nibbling on the shitty swordsman’s chin. Watching Christian’s lips graze softly over Zoro’s rough skin, the way the goddamn marimo smiled and brushed Christian’s bangs from his forehead, tortured Sanji in some strange, fundamental way that he couldn’t understand. The way Christian’s legs fit so perfectly over Zoro’s hips… the way Zoro’s tongue-

“You gonna drink that?”

Roman’s voice jolted Sanji out of his thoughts, and the cook sloshed sake onto his fingers as he whipped his head around to stare bug-eyed at the other man.

“Uh…” Sanji stammered. Great, real smooth. “Oh, yeah.”

But before Sanji could bring the cup to his lips, Miles entered the garden, dressed in a fine black chef’s coat, and bowed deeply in the general direction of the table.

“Gentlemen,” he said as he straightened, “the meal is ready.”

TBC

Previous chapters HERE.

xD

fanfic, zosan, collab

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