Fic Collab Chapter 5
All right! Here is the next chapter of the madness! I'm sorry to say that there is no awesome sex like last time, because unfortunately, I have an evil plot monster living in my head and I wrote this chappy by myself. Fear not though, dear friends, because next time, sinisterbug and I will cook up some man loving for your reading pleasure! xD
Note: We don't own One Piece or anything, but I plan on kidnapping Eiichiro Oda and making him sell the franchise to us.
Thank you bronzetigress for beta! xD
Title: The Nature Of Things
Authors: sinisterbug and stark_black
Rating: Big fat R to NC-17
Paring: Zoro/hookers, Sanji/hookers, and eventually Zoro/Sanji
Warnings: HET! MAN WITH WOMAN SEX! Also, yaoi, language, and general retarded-ness.
Summary: When the Sunny docks, Sanji and Zoro sometimes seek out relief in some not so savory places. After crossing paths in town on more than one occasion, the two find they have a lot more in common than they would like to admit.
Sanji slammed the spoon down on the countertop and resisted pulling out his hair at the last second. His fingers were covered in puréed tomato after all.
The itch was too much. The thinking and the pondering, and the ‘what if’s were starting to make Sanji’s head hurt. He couldn’t enjoy a game of cards, couldn’t concentrate on dinner-couldn’t even sneak peeks at Robin’s cleavage or Nami’s legs without thinking of the fucking green haired bastard!
Why was it such a problem? Why did it even matter? Who fucking knew? But what Sanji did know, was that Zoro leaving the ship for something he obviously did not want to discuss, or even mention to his… almost friend, pissed the cook off so much he wanted to take a shower just to relieve the urge to scratch at his skin. He was going to get hives for fuck’s sake, and it was all that goddamn Marimo’s fault!!
Abandoning the sauce by pouring it into a bowl and shoving it into the ice box, Sanji threw together a thirteen foot sandwich. He piled on the meats and cheese to keep his captain happy, and filled a platter with lettuce, sliced tomato, pickles, and other assorted toppings. He set out mayo, mustard, relish, salsa, chocolate sauce, marshmallows, and anything else he could think of that his neurotic crewmembers might want. He opened a few bags of potato sticks and filled his largest bowl to the brim. He made macaroni salad, and finally, mixed together a giant jug of iced tea.
He left the galley, and headed to the boy’s cabin. He tossed around a few shirts and several pairs of slacks before finding something suitable. There was an art to picking out clothes that were classy, yet sturdy enough to go traipsing around potentially dirty parts of a city. There was also the added complication of finding something clean, and well, he hadn’t done his laundry in a few days…
He didn’t need a shower. He smelled damn good-like lemons and mustard and iced tea mix. Besides, it wasn’t like he was going to smell like anything but cigarettes after he smoked as much as he was craving to at the moment anyway.
“There’s food on the table,” he said with a flourish of his hand as he passed Usopp and Nami. “I trust the lovely Nami-swan can keep our captain from eating it all.”
Nami looked at Sanji with wide eyes, slightly off balance when the cook was not trying to wait on her hand and foot. “Uh, okay. Where are you going?”
Sanji gave her a little bow and stepped off the deck and onto the unloading platform.
“I forgot some things while shopping today, my precious flower,” he explained. “I’m going to look for them. Don’t wait up for me.”
Nami rolled her eyes. “Not like I ever do. You coming back tonight?”
Not if I find the Marimo. I’m gonna kick his ass into tomorrow afternoon. “I think not, my sweet. I shall see you in the morning.”
Nami nodded and the cook started down the platform with a wave over his shoulder. “Tell Chopper there’s a snack for his watch tonight in the fridge!”
If Nami heard him, she didn’t respond.
X x X x X
It only took Sanji two hours and seven bars to realize he was being ridiculous. He was wasting his free night on land looking for Zoro. What was he, a fucking girl? Who cared where Zoro was! He had every right to go off by himself and do… whatever it was that he was doing!
Son of a bitch! What IS he doing?!! Sanji slammed the mug down on the bar top. His cheeks burned. He knew he’d had more than enough, but as the night wore on, he slipped farther and farther into a funk. The alcohol relaxed him, but it didn’t stop the thoughts that plagued his mind.
He was lonely. That’s all there was to it. Zoro had unwillingly and unknowingly become his friend in the last few months. It was a fucked-up, retarded kind of friendship, but the fucking swordsman filled a big empty space. He closed a gap that had been opened when Sanji had left the Baratie. They were, what, a year apart? A couple months? How old was Zoro anyway? It didn’t matter. Luffy was too young and too weird to be his friend. Franky was creepy sometimes. Usopp was… Usopp. Chopper was… a reindeer…
Zoro was the same as him. They were more compatible. They fought well together-really well together.
“You okay there, friend?” the bartender smiled kindly at Sanji.
The cook frowned, staring through a haze of drunkenness at the man. “You’re buds with a guy if you both like the same stuff, right?”
The bartender chuckled. “Uh, I guess.”
Sanji waved a hand and pushed his glass forward. “I mean, if you both do the same stuff, and hang out a lot together-I’ll have another, by the way.”
The bartender refilled Sanji’s glass and leaned on the counter. “If you hang out a lot together and enjoy all the same stuff, yeah, you’re buds.”
Sanji nodded, taking a swig of whatever he had ordered. “Good. So… lessay, you and this other guy-hees ‘n asshole, just so you know, thiss’s why I’m confused-You and this other guy, fight all the time. All the time! But you kind if enjoy it. Iss fun, it gets you energized; keeps you from going crazy on long stretches at sea.”
The bartender nodded.
Sanji lowered his voice. “And you both looooove girls. You both love girls so much, that you head out every night you’re on land together to pick up chicks… Together. You’ve totally seen thissguy naked like ten times, but it dussn’t matter, ‘cause you’re buds, right?
The bartender looked like he was trying not to laugh. Sanji couldn’t think why what he was saying was funny, so he just pressed on.
“The reason I sort of jumped down ‘is throat at the beginning, was ‘cause I thought he was trying to get with the girls on our ship, and everybody knows I love the girls on the ship. But then, after a while, I thought he was sorta um, un-sexual ‘cause all he did was eat, sleep, and clean hiss words.” The cook took another swallow. “But I guess ’is just really good at hiding it, ‘cause damn, he’s fucking crazy enthusiastic with the hookers. But anyway…”
“So, what’s the problem now?” the bartender asked. “You said you still fight all the time, or something?”
Sanji nodded. “It’s ‘cause we’re both so strong.”
The bartender nodded like he understood. He was a great guy, listening like he was. Sanji smiled up at him and slapped the bar top. “One more! For the road!”
As he swallowed, Sanji thought about the situation. Maybe the reason things were so complicated, was because Zoro and him never actually communicated anything to each other except a few four letter words at a time.
“Maybe I should tell him that we’re friends, ‘cause I don’t think he gets it. He’s kind of slow. Well, ‘cept when we’re fighting. He’s reeeaaally fast when we’re fighting. He looks so cool when he’s doing it. Fighting, I mean, not doing it doing it. I’d never tell him that though, cause then his asshole-ness would skyrocket.”
Sanji rubbed his eyes. “Did you know he fights with a sword in his mouth? Isn’t that awesome? I didn’t know you could fight with a sword in your mouth…”
“Really…” the bartender said softly.
Sanji nodded and hiccupped. “It makes sense though. ‘S the only way he could fight with three. Of course, he could just fight with two, but I guess that wouldn’t be enough of a challenge for him. Stupid bastard.”
As Sanji sipped at his drink, something tugged at the back of his mind. The noise level of the room had lowered considerably, and when the cook glanced to the side, he realized that there were several patrons eyeing him.
The blond turned back to the bartender, and smiled a little crookedly. “I’m in trouble, aren’t I?”
The man nodded slowly. “I suggest you move quickly. You’ve caught the attention of some of our more unsavory pirate hunters.”
Curse my Goddamn mouth. Sanji tipped the glass back and downed the rest of the fiery alcohol. And curse Zoro for getting me into this whole freaking mess!
The cook stood, and straightened his jacket. He turned to face the room, eyeing several men moving to stand in his way of the door.
“I s’ppose,” Sanji slurred, “You’re all here to get your asses beat. I can help you with that, if you like.” He hiccupped. “Free o’ charge.”
The first man snarled at him. He pulled a knife from his boot slowly, and advanced. Sanji watched him come, slipping his hands in his pockets. Even inebriated, the attack seemed a little slow to the cook.
Side-stepping, Sanji brought his knee up into the charging man’s diaphragm. There was a wheeze, a choking exhale, and a heavy thud as the man fell to the floor. Sanji pulled out a cigarette and lit the tip as four others advanced. Taking a drag, the cook dispatched three with clean sweeps of his feet, knocking the men into various tables and sending one crashing into the opposite wall.
The last of his attackers stared at Sanji with wide eyes. The cook puffed on his smoke, swaying slightly, and waited for the man to attack.
“Well?” he asked.
The man shook his head, dropping the bottle in his hand to the floor. “I ain’t fighting a friend of Roronoa’s.” With that, he turned and hurried out the door.
“Thass right!” Sanji called after him. “We are friends! You should go tell him that ‘cause he’s an idiot!”
Sanji swayed again and pulled a few beli out of his pocket. He laid them on the bar and saluted the bartender. “Theressa few extra for your conversation, and the, huh… mess. I tried not to break too much, but I’m a little whoosy.”
The bartender nodded to him, a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. “You have a good one.”
Sanji waved and headed out the front.
He had made it all of about thirty feet before someone called out to him from behind. “Sanji! Blackleg Sanji! Wait up!”
Sanji turned, and smiled when he saw a young woman running to catch up. His vision danced a little as she approached, but he still could make out long, brown hair, and big, innocent brown eyes.
Wow… Chopper eyes… Sanji thought to himself.
“Sanji!” the girl panted when she reached him. “That was amazing! I’ve never seen anyone move like that!”
Sanji smiled and slumped to lean against the brick wall that conveniently stood behind him. “Thank you, love, but it w’ssnothing.”
Straightening, the girl stood almost as tall as Sanji. As the cook let his eyes wander, he noticed that her form was thin, devoid of curves, but still lithe and graceful. He smiled, still a little wobbly.
“Y’r so tall…” he murmured.
She giggled. “And you are so drunk. Let me take you somewhere?”
Oh, that’s what this is… Sanji put up his hands, not wishing to hurt the girl’s feelings. “Thank you, lovely, but I’m really not-”
“Oh, just real quick,” the girl insisted, pulling Sanji into the alley.
The cook had a moment to think about how strong this girl was. How extremely strong this girl was, before he felt his pants being undone, and his fly unzipped.
“Ya know,” Sanji murmured softly, rubbing at his eyes. “I don’t have a lot of beli for this.” He hoped the lie wasn’t too obvious.
“It’s okay,” she said as she dropped to her knees. “I’ll do it for free since you’re a Strawhat.”
Sanji grinned stupidly and leaned his head back against the wall. “Hey, thassokay. If you feel you must, I won’t argue with a delicate flower such as yurself.”
The girl slipped her hands into his pants and wrapped her fingers around his half hard cock. The cook’s back bowed a little at the girl’s grip. She stroked him expertly, with the perfect amount of pressure, and just the right amount of pull. If Sanji thought about it, this was the best hand job he had ever received.
“Shit…” he breathed. “Wass your name?”
“Just call me Kitty,” she murmured, looking up at him with those ridiculously innocent eyes.
Sanji snickered, but his breath caught when the girl’s lips covered him. His hands flew to the wall and he scrambled for purchase. The hooker’s mouth was so talented, Sanji feared his legs would buckle.
“Woa… holy… Shit, you should compete…” Sanji gasped. “Where the fuck did you learn to do that?” He looked down, watching Kitty’s mouth slide over him, her hands pumping him furiously.
Her hands…
Sanji blinked slowly, sobriety coming in sharp and painful as he watched the girl’s hands. They were rough and calloused. Thick knuckles… fleshy pads… Those were most definitely not the hands of a girl.
A queasy wave rolled in Sanji’s gut, and he put his hands firmly on Kitty’s shoulders. He pushed the prostitute off him and pulled her gently towards a standing position. She looked up into Sanji’s face, saw the realization there, and slowly straightened.
Sanji clenched his jaw trying to slow his breathing. He blinked a few times to clear his vision. Tucking himself back into his pants and zipping the fly, he looked at Kitty and shook his head.
“I don’t swing like that.”
Kitty, no doubt humiliated, wiped at his mouth, and his eyes filled. Sanji had to look away. He raised his hand to straighten his tie and the smaller man shrank back like he was expecting a strike. The cook felt a pang at the hooker’s reaction and pulled his cigarettes from his pocket.
“I’m not going to hurt you,” he said softly. “It’s okay.” He offered the pack and Kitty took a stick. He lit the tip for him and turned his back to the breeze to light his own.
When he glanced back, Kitty still looked frightened, so Sanji pulled him back farther into the ally. As the brunette leaned against the wall, tears started to trail down his cheeks. Sanji watched the slight figure, as an ache he couldn’t describe pulled at his chest.
“I’m sorry,” Kitty said softly. “You’re so handsome, and the way you beat those men even though you were drunk… It was so incredible and I was so turned on… I haven’t felt that way about anyone in a long time.” He sucked on the cigarette, and Sanji just watched, the ache building.
“I guess I thought… since you were in the district…”
Sanji’s hand froze on its way to his mouth. The cigarette sat smoldering between his fingers.
“District?” he asked quietly.
Kitty nodded. “You’re in the gay district of town. I… I’m sorry. I thought you knew.”
Sanji finally brought the cigarette to his lips. “Oh…” he said simply.
Kitty took a drag and studied Sanji carefully. He wiped at his eyes delicately, mindful of the heavy eyeliner. “You’re very nice. I’ve misjudged before and gotten the shit beat out of me.”
Sanji looked at the ground. He felt sick. “It’s not for me to judge. You can do whatever you want, just as long as it’s not with me. And just now was a mistake, so it’s all right.” It was mostly true. He didn’t like the fact that another man had touched him, but there was no way he could hit someone that looked so much like a woman, (on top of having Chopper eyes). Besides, the man looked like he hadn’t had a decent meal in days. The cook sighed and rubbed at his eyes again. His buzz was almost completely gone, and all he was left with was a dull pounding in his temples.
Kitty continued to study him. “So… you’re not like, phobic or anything?”
Sanji shook his head.
“So you wouldn’t be mad if you found out one of your friends was gay?”
Sanji chuckled. “No, I wouldn’t. But that’s irrelevant, because none of my friends are.”
As Kitty stared at him, Sanji inhaled and blew the smoke out in a long, thin stream. Something coiled in his gut and he frowned at the prostitute.
“What?” he asked. “It’s true.”
Kitty moved closer and dropped the cigarette, crushing it under the heel of his shoe.
“You should come with me, Blackleg Sanji. There’s something you might want to know.”
X x X x X
Sanji leaned against the metal lamp post as he sucked on a third cigarette. The street was a blaze of color. Lighted signs blinked over bars; clubs and restaurants were packed with noisy patrons; music floated out from several establishments, all mixing together to form a cacophony of unrelated sound.
The building Kitty had pointed out to him was nondescript; three story, with a high wall behind. Sanji guessed there was some kind of hot springs or gardens back there. He stood watching patrons come and go, showing what Kitty had explained was a membership card at the door.
“So…” he exhaled. “That’s a male brothel, and you need a membership card to get in.”
Kitty nodded from his side.
Sanji turned to look at the prostitute. He stood with his hands clasped over his waist. He looked very small and helpless at that moment, despite his height. He really did pull off the girl image very well.
“So, in other words, Zoro couldn’t have gone in there on like, a whim or something. He probably has done this a lot then? Frequented other places like this in other towns?”
Kitty nodded. “I guess. He saved a couple guys who worked at this place on another island. They gave him one as a gift.”
Sanji nodded. That sounded like Zoro. The cook turned back to the building and shoved his hands in his pockets. “And you work there too?”
Kitty nodded, and shuffled his feet. “Not as a companion though. I do housework…maintenance.”
Sanji nodded. “You go by Kitty there too?”
Kitty shook his head. “It’s not a tranny kind of place. I don’t… I’m a guy in there. I go by Saul.”
Sanji looked at him out the corner of his eye. “That your real name?”
Kitty shook his head.
Sanji turned his body, wishing his gaze wouldn’t keep gravitating back to the brothel doors. It’s not like he was standing here waiting for Zoro to come out or anything.
“So, what is your name?”
Kitty looked at the ground, his cheeks turning pink. He wrung his hands and Sanji felt himself actually charmed by the man’s mannerisms.
Don’t even… It’s only because he reminds you of Chopper… Damn those ridiculous brown eyes!
“Um… I’m J-Jacob,” the hooker murmured softly.
Sanji figured he should end this now before this kid fell in love with him or something. He fished his small pouch of beli from his pocket, intending to shake out a few coins, but then thought better of it, and handed the pouch over to Jacob.
The prostitute looked at him then, his jaw dropping. He shook his head furiously and backed up a few steps.
“I can’t. I didn’t do anything!”
Sanji sighed. “You showed me where my friend was. Take it and go eat something.”
Jacob eyed the pouch and hesitantly moved to take it from Sanji’s hand. He held it close, clutching it against his chest. The cook watched tears build in the smaller man’s eyes and felt his stomach do a flip flop.
“Now, get out of here.”
Jacob nodded and turned around, moving quickly down the street.
Sanji once again turned to look at the three story building. Zoro never stayed the night at brothels, so he shouldn’t be much longer. The cook decided to just wait for him. When he came out, Sanji would show the mother fucker the bottom of his shoe.
X x X x X
Squinting against the morning sun, Christian closed the door behind the handsome swordsman, and leaned against the heavy wood. Holy fuck he was sore. Good sore, but completely and totally tender, fucked-within-an-inch-of-his-life, kind of sore. All cock after Zoro was going to fail miserably in comparison.
The blond grinned at Roman, and the two moved to climb the stairs. Christian held the railing to steady himself as he ascended, much to the amusement of his friend. Jase and Quill passed them on the way up and whistled. Jase actually slapped Chris’ ass, sending a spike of pain shooting through the blond’s spine, but he only turned and blew them a kiss.
“You gonna tell us about it?” Quill asked.
“No,” Chris rolled his eyes. “I was planning on keeping the best fuck of my life all to myself.”
As Jase and Quill laughed behind him, Chris and Roman reached the top of the stairs. They were about to part ways, but stopped when they saw a small crowd gathered by the front windows. Wondering what was happening outside, they changed direction and headed toward the commotion.
“What the hell’s going on?” Chris asked Wolf.
Wolf turned crystal blue eyes, and a head of dark hair streaked with silver in Chris’ direction. “Your last patron is outside getting his ass chewed.”
“What!?” Chris moved to push in between skinny Shadow, and tall, tattooed Wren. “You’re fucking lying!”
Wren chuckled softly and leaned against the window frame. His long, red hair fell over his shoulders and tickled Chris’ cheek.
“I wouldn’t say ‘chewed out’. There ain’t a whole lot of talkin’ going on down there.”
Chris pressed his forehead against the glass and peered down below to the street in front of the brothel. He saw Zoro, his arms crossed over his chest, and his face set in a scowl. He looked so different than he had only minutes ago when he had said goodbye.
“Wow,” the blond murmured, “He’s really upset.”
Shadow snorted at his side. “I’d be upset too.”
“Yeah,” Wren seemed to be holding back a laugh. “That blond looks ready to breathe fire.”
“You didn’t tell us you had a brother, Chrissy!” Wolf snickered.
“I don’t,” Chris murmured, his gaze rolling over the figure glaring all kinds of daggers at Zoro. “At least, I don’t think I do…”
The blond in the nice suit resembled Chris enough that it felt a little surreal. He had the same hair, and the same eyes. His basic facial structure was similar as well, but it was obvious that this guy worked out a hell of a lot more than Christian ever wanted to. The prostitute could tell that Zoro’s acquaintance was in no way as frail as his slight frame denoted. There was a surplus amount of power hidden underneath that well-fitted wool, especially in his legs…
“Well, well…” Roman’s raspy baritone crooned in Christian’s ear. “Looks like Roronoa Zoro got caught.”
Chris snickered and shook his hips.
“Don’t you have an early appointment, Roman?” Wren said merrily. “The son of the magistrate, or something like that?”
Roman snorted and straightened. “And miss this chance to watch the famous Zoro get castigated by the boyfriend? Not a chance.”
“Castigated?” Shadow snickered. “That’s a new one.”
“That English professor that shows up once in a while,” Roman shrugged over Christian’s shoulders. “He’s very… vocal.”
“And castigated came up?” Shadow made a face. “Are you sure that means what you think it means?”
Christian, more interested in what was happening below, pressed more fully against the window.
“What makes you say this guy’s Zoro’s boyfriend?”
“Yeah,” Wren cocked an eyebrow. “I would think a boyfriend would’a freaked out a little more. This guy’s just turning him to stone with his glare.”
“God, he is so hot…” Wolf pressed forward, practically drooling on Christian’s arm.
“Who’s hot?” Small, silver-haired Yukie slipped between Christian and Wren to see what was causing the clog in the hallway.
Roman yawned and Christian didn’t have to look to know the larger man was stretching his arms over his head, pulling the muscles in his chest and torso. “Well, maybe not a boyfriend…”
“Oh my God!” Yukie exclaimed. “I saw this guy last night!”
All eyes turned to the boy as he leaned against the glass.
“Really? Where?” Shadow asked, his black hair falling into his eyes. It was strange to see the usually calm and reserved man so excited.
“I saw him with Saul!” Yukie bounced. “They were talking down the street by the big crossway sign late last night!”
“Saul? The handyman, Saul?” Chris demand.
Yukie nodded. “He works the streets around the brothel at night. You wouldn’t recognize him though, he dresses like a girl.”
“Saul’s a tranny?” Wren asked, surprise lifting his thin eyebrows.
“Wolf, go find Saul!” Christian turned around. “I want to know about the blondie.”
“But I wanna waaaaatch!” Wolf whined.
“Go!” Christian growled. He turned to the others as Wolf stomped off. “And you guys go… do something. I’ll let you know what I find out after I talk to Saul. Shoo! Shoo!”
The others left reluctantly, stealing a few quick glances out the window before trudging down the hall. “You better spill the second you know what’s up.” Wren winked at Chris before he descended the stairs. The blond sighed and leaned against the window sill.
Only Roman remained. His dark hair had the tousled, just rolled out of bed look, but his eyes were sparkling. He studied Christian with his amused gaze and reached one tattooed hand out to brush blond bangs from the smaller man’s forehead.
“What are you planning?” he asked softly.
Christian shrugged, smiling mischievously at his best friend. “Oh, nothing.”
X x X x X
Sanji ground his teeth. It was bad enough that Zoro had made him wait all night outside on a street crawling with okama but, just to add icing to this fucking cake, he had run out of cigarettes about four hours ago. The cook had almost slipped away to go buy a pack, but he knew the instant he left his post, Zoro would come rambling out.
Of course, the whole thing was retarded. He could have just gone back to the ship and confronted the swordsman there, but Sanji really wanted to see the look on Zoro’s face when he realized he had been caught.
As of this moment, the green-haired idiot was looking at him with slivered eyes, and a kind of scowl in the line of his lips. It wasn’t that much different than the looks the swordsman always gave him when Sanji pointed out the Marimo’s horrid sense of direction.
Sanji sighed, pulling out a cigarette and lighting up in his imagination (it was all he had at the moment). “So…” This is where he would have exhaled slowly, building the anticipation. “Pussy just wouldn’t cut it last night, huh?”
Zoro’s form went rigid. His eyes widened and his nostrils flared. Those strong arms, usually so steady and sure, slipped from their perch across his chest, and his hands fumbled for a spot at his hips. You would have had to know Zoro to really see the slip, but it was there, and Sanji felt tremendous triumph at flustering the unshakeable swordsman so thoroughly.
“What…” Zoro paused, taking a short breath. “What are you doing here, cook? How did you find me?”
Sanji slipped his hands into his pockets. “You’re kind of high profile, Marimo. I just asked where you’d gone.”
Zoro blinked. “Why were you asking where I was?”
Instead of answering, Sanji took a step forward. He didn’t feel like getting in a fight right there in the middle of the street, but he definitely felt like getting into a fight-a fucking cosmic battle. Strangely though, he was still kind of calm. The anger was there, oh yes, the rage boiled below the surface, but it was sort of… tied up. It had been like this since last night with Kitty. He wanted to scream and break things, slam large objects into larger objects, but he couldn’t seem to tap into all that fire and brimstone he knew was down there… somewhere. It sucked because more than anything, he itched to smash Zoro into a wall. He wanted to pound the asshole’s face into the pavement with his heel. He wasn’t even sure he knew why, he just knew he wanted to.
Laughter rang out behind the cook, and Sanji glanced around at the passersby. Maybe the natural stunt in his fury was a good thing. There was stuff he wanted to say, and he didn’t really want rubberneckers.
“Come with me.” With that, Sanji turned and started down the street, confident that Zoro would follow.
X x X x X
Yup, he was right. Sanji was pissed. That weird quiet had been all fake.
As another log snatched from the sandy beach flew past his head, Zoro wondered if there was a way to knock the cook out and give him enough brain damage for a little memory loss but no other permanent damage. Probably not, but maybe it was worth it to try?
Unfortunately, the swordsman found he really didn’t feel like fighting the cook. He didn’t even feel like defending himself. The only reason the various things Sanji kicked in his direction didn’t connect, was that his reflexes sort of worked on their own, despite Zoro’s feelings toward the situation.
Any kind of friendship he had managed to gain with Sanji was no doubt toast at this point, and it really surprised Zoro how much that realization hurt. Stupid cook had really gotten under his damn skin.
He was so deep in self wallowing, that it took Zoro a moment to realize that Sanji had finally started cussing him out. He steadied himself, preparing for the montage of shit coming his way. It wasn’t that he was ashamed (Zoro was never ashamed of anything he did) but he had hoped that if Sanji ever found out about his more… exotic tastes, it would have been under different circumstances.
“…stupid, fucking, Marimo.” Sanji growled as he uncovered another log washed up from the ocean. He twisted, hooking the large piece of wood with his toes, and sent it sailing though the air. Zoro ducked as the log zoomed by.
“You know, Zoro!” Sanji hissed. “You’re a fucking idiot!”
Yeah, I know. “Oi, cook,” Zoro grumbled. “If there’s something you wanna say to me, just say it.”
Sanji clenched his fists and dug the heels of his palms into his eyes. “Do you have ANY idea what I went through last night!? I felt all weird cause you ran off by yourself all mysterious like, so I tried to find you, and got drunk, and ended up getting attacked in a bar just because I mentioned your name!” The cook’s hands moved to his temples, rubbing jerky circles into his skull. “I have the most fantastic headache now, and you know what? It’s not even from the alcohol! I was in the gay district, and didn’t know it! The gay district, asshole! There was this girl that turned out to not be a girl, and next thing I know, I have A GUY WITH HIS MOUTH ON MY DICK! I got attacked, almost robbed, molested by a dude, and it’s all your fucking fault! AND NOW I’M OUT OF FUCKING CIGARETTES ON TOP OF EVERYTHING ELSE!!!
Zoro didn’t know whether to laugh, cry, or scream. He folded his arms over his chest again, and side stepped out of the way of a few flying bottles.
Sanji kicked at the sand, pacing in circles, growling and spitting in between expletives that went over Zoro’s head. The swordsman sighed in frustration, wishing the cook would just get to the point already.
But then Sanji did something that Zoro never considered. The blond took a breath and ceased his ranting. He wiped a hand over his face and moved slowly up the beach to sit on a large rock. He brought his knees up and rested his chin in his hand. He didn’t look at Zoro, didn’t say anything. He just sat, watching the waves as they rolled over the shore.
Zoro felt a little queasy. This was not how he had imagined things going. In fact, this was not even close. Was it possible that Sanji hated him so much, was so disgusted by him now that he didn’t even feel like fighting him anymore? That would pretty much be the worst fucking thing that could ever happen to Zoro besides losing to Mihawk again, or Luffy deciding he didn’t want to be pirate king any more. Nausea rolled in the swordsman’s gut as he tried to sort out what to do.
Fortunately, Sanji spoke before the swordsman could say anything stupid.
“You’re such an asshole…”
Zoro ground his teeth. He had been expecting Sanji to be a dick about it, but now that it was actually happening, it hurt and pissed him off a lot more than he had expected. “You know what? Fuck you, cook! I don’t have to justify anything I do to you! I don’t have to explain anything I do to you! This is the reason I had to be secretive, because I knew that you were gonna be a fucking prick about it if you found out, and I didn’t want the fucking hassle!”
Sanji stood then with such speed, and came at him with such ferocity, that Zoro actually had to take a step back. The cook’s rage swirled around him like the winds blowing in from the ocean. Zoro could actually feel the white hot anger radiating from Sanji’s body.
“Is that what you fucking think!” Sanji screamed. “Is that really what you think of me, you stupid Marimo son of a bitch! You think I care where you put your dick!? You think I would make fun of you, or tell on you to the rest of the crew!? Do you seriously think that little of me!!?
Zoro held up his hands. A few minutes ago, he would have said yes. Well… maybe not. Maybe he knew deep down that Sanji wasn’t really like that. Maybe he had just been a little… what was the word… scared?
“I…” Zoro said softly. “No… not really.”
“Then what the fuck!” Sanji bent and swung his leg at Zoro’s side. The swordsman blocked with his forearm, sending pain rocketing up through his shoulder. “You should know friends don’t do that kind of shit to each other! Nakama don’t do that kind of shit to each other!”
The words, rather than the kick, knocked Zoro on his ass. He sat in the warm sand, the sun beating down on the back of his neck. He was too shocked to say anything; too confused to do anything.
Sanji was okay with it? Sanji was okay with him being into guys? How was that even possible? Had he fallen asleep and woken up in a parallel universe?
And friends… Sanji had said they were friends… When had they become friends? They had always been comrades, but friends?
“Holy fuck, I need a cigarette,” Sanji breathed, landing with a soft thud next to Zoro on the sand.
Zoro still couldn’t move. His limbs felt like wet noodles. For so long he had carefully kept this secret; always in the back of his mind there was that anxiety that someone in the crew would find out. And then bam! Here comes Sanji, loud and obnoxious, and sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong like he always did… But wonder of wonders, the idiot-cook was okay with it.
“So…” Zoro tried to speak. “It’s not weird?”
“Oh, it’s weird.” Sanji lay back, unbuttoning his jacket. “It’s fucking weird… But whatever. Our captain is made out of rubber. Our doctor is a reindeer. There’s a cyborg on board that struts around in a thong, and if that wasn’t enough, we have an eight foot skeleton for a musician. There’s weirder stuff to deal with than your sexuality on a regular basis.”
Zoro nodded, still feeling a little off balance, but he knew it would pass. They sat under the sun for a while, quiet, each lost in his own thoughts. Finally, Zoro stood slowly and straightened his haramaki. He glanced down at Sanji and suppressed something that felt a little like gratitude.
“Let’s get back to the ship, cook,” he growled. “I’m hungry.”
X x X x X
Life was returned to normal when Sanji and Zoro climbed aboard the ship. Luffy made a big deal about breakfast being late, so Sanji headed for the galley without delay. They ate, Zoro trained, Sanji sang a farewell to the girls and Chopper as they left for an exciting day of shopping. The rest of the crew lazed around, enjoying the sun, or went about their business of playing music, building things, or blowing them up.
Lunchtime came and went. The late afternoon found Sanji finishing up the rest of the dishes and placing a large roast, complete with potatoes and vegetables, into the oven. He washed up, wiped his hands on a dish rag, and stepped out onto the deck for a smoke.
The cook watched the sun dance across the tops of the mountains, thinking that from this distance, the town was exceptionally beautiful. He inhaled, savoring the taste and feel of the nicotine entering his system.
Unfortunately, his moment of piece was broken by a call from Usopp.
“Sanji!” The sniper panted as he neared the cook. “There’s someone here. He wants to talk to you.”
Sanji cocked an eyebrow. “Who is he?”
Usopp shrugged. “Just some guy. He’s waiting on the dock over there.” The younger man pointed in the direction of the loading ramp and stepped aside for Sanji to pass.
“You tell Luffy?” Sanji asked as he headed in the direction Usopp indicated.
Usopp nodded. “I mentioned it to him, but he said if this guy was here to see you, then it wasn’t his problem.”
Sanji rolled his eyes and started down toward the dock.
The sight that awaited him was a little surreal, and the cook slowed his step for a moment to take it in. The man that waited for him on the docks below was about his height, with the same blond hair and very similar blue eyes. His skinny form fit into a dark wool suit, and he stood lazily with his hands in his pockets.
The cook slipped his cigarette between his teeth, and dropped to the heavy wooden planks in front of his strange visitor. He took a few moments to study the man, marveling at the similarities in their looks, but keeping a mask of indifference on his face.
Finally, he pulled the cigarette from his mouth and exhaled slowly.
“Nice suit.”
The man smiled, and Sanji was stunned. This guy was almost pretty. “Hello, Sanji,” he said in a sultry tenor. “I was wondering if I might have a word with you.”
Sanji cocked an eyebrow. “Well, seems to me you’ve already had several.” He took another drag on his cigarette. “Who the hell are you?”
The man tilted his head in a playful way. “Just a friend of Zoro’s. My name is Christian.”
Sanji frowned. “A friend of Zoro’s? Where the hell-”
Suddenly it hit Sanji, and the cook almost dropped his cigarette. There was only one way this guy knew Zoro, and that was if this guy was from the brothel.
“Oh…” Sanji tried desperately to regain his composure. “You’re uh… you’re from the uh…”
“I’m a companion, yes,” Christian chuckled. “I entertained Zoro last night. He made… quite an impression.”
Sanji swallowed. “Well, he’s here right now, just probably napping. If you want to see-”
“No, no,” Christian held up his hands. “I came here to see you.”
Sanji blinked. “Huh? Why?”
Christian’s smile changed and his tongue slipped out to run over his bottom lip. He took a step forward and gently took the cigarette from Sanji’s fingers. He brought it to his lips and inhaled slowly. He returned it to the cook and opened his mouth to blow out three smoke rings. Sanji watched, his heart beating against his ribcage, not sure what to think, or even do.
“I came here to invite you to have dinner with me tonight.”
Sanji swallowed. “I… that’s really nice of you, but I’m not-”
“I’m not offering sex,” Christian murmured. “I’m asking if you would come have dinner with me and a few of my friends. We’ve heard so much about your travels with the Strawhat pirates, and we’d love to meet you… get to know you, like we did with Zoro.”
Sanji clenched his jaw. On the one hand, his brain was screaming no! but the curious side of him, the adventurous side of him, said he should accept. He would probably never get another chance like this to learn things about Zoro’s world.
“I… okay, I guess.” Sanji took a breath. “I don’t have a lot of money though. So-”
Christian flipped a coin to Sanji, and the cook caught it. He glanced down, thinking at first that it was an ordinary beli, but when he studied it harder, he realized it was something entirely different.
“That’s not our usual membership card,” Christian explained. “That is my personal coin. It’s good for one time only. I would like it returned, even if you change your mind and decide not to come tonight.”
“Uh…” Sanji couldn’t seem make words at first. “Thank you…”
Christian did a little bow, turned on his heel, and started back down the docks toward the city. “I’m looking forward to tonight!”
Sanji suddenly thought of something, and called out to the blond man.
“Wait, am I supposed to come alone?! Or do I bring Zoro?!”
Christian waved over his shoulder. “Whatever you want!”
Sanji watched him go, still confused. He looked down at the coin burning a hole in his palm. He dropped his spent cigarette on the ground, crushing it out with his foot, and climbed back up onto the ship. He stood for a moment, not sure what he should do, but then slowly started towards the crow’s nest where he knew Zoro was sleeping off the wine from lunch.
As he climbed, he told himself he wasn’t excited, and pretended he didn’t feel the butterflies dancing in his stomach.
TBC
Previous chapters HERE.
xD
Note: We don't own One Piece or anything, but I plan on kidnapping Eiichiro Oda and making him sell the franchise to us.
Thank you bronzetigress for beta! xD
Title: The Nature Of Things
Authors: sinisterbug and stark_black
Rating: Big fat R to NC-17
Paring: Zoro/hookers, Sanji/hookers, and eventually Zoro/Sanji
Warnings: HET! MAN WITH WOMAN SEX! Also, yaoi, language, and general retarded-ness.
Summary: When the Sunny docks, Sanji and Zoro sometimes seek out relief in some not so savory places. After crossing paths in town on more than one occasion, the two find they have a lot more in common than they would like to admit.
Sanji slammed the spoon down on the countertop and resisted pulling out his hair at the last second. His fingers were covered in puréed tomato after all.
The itch was too much. The thinking and the pondering, and the ‘what if’s were starting to make Sanji’s head hurt. He couldn’t enjoy a game of cards, couldn’t concentrate on dinner-couldn’t even sneak peeks at Robin’s cleavage or Nami’s legs without thinking of the fucking green haired bastard!
Why was it such a problem? Why did it even matter? Who fucking knew? But what Sanji did know, was that Zoro leaving the ship for something he obviously did not want to discuss, or even mention to his… almost friend, pissed the cook off so much he wanted to take a shower just to relieve the urge to scratch at his skin. He was going to get hives for fuck’s sake, and it was all that goddamn Marimo’s fault!!
Abandoning the sauce by pouring it into a bowl and shoving it into the ice box, Sanji threw together a thirteen foot sandwich. He piled on the meats and cheese to keep his captain happy, and filled a platter with lettuce, sliced tomato, pickles, and other assorted toppings. He set out mayo, mustard, relish, salsa, chocolate sauce, marshmallows, and anything else he could think of that his neurotic crewmembers might want. He opened a few bags of potato sticks and filled his largest bowl to the brim. He made macaroni salad, and finally, mixed together a giant jug of iced tea.
He left the galley, and headed to the boy’s cabin. He tossed around a few shirts and several pairs of slacks before finding something suitable. There was an art to picking out clothes that were classy, yet sturdy enough to go traipsing around potentially dirty parts of a city. There was also the added complication of finding something clean, and well, he hadn’t done his laundry in a few days…
He didn’t need a shower. He smelled damn good-like lemons and mustard and iced tea mix. Besides, it wasn’t like he was going to smell like anything but cigarettes after he smoked as much as he was craving to at the moment anyway.
“There’s food on the table,” he said with a flourish of his hand as he passed Usopp and Nami. “I trust the lovely Nami-swan can keep our captain from eating it all.”
Nami looked at Sanji with wide eyes, slightly off balance when the cook was not trying to wait on her hand and foot. “Uh, okay. Where are you going?”
Sanji gave her a little bow and stepped off the deck and onto the unloading platform.
“I forgot some things while shopping today, my precious flower,” he explained. “I’m going to look for them. Don’t wait up for me.”
Nami rolled her eyes. “Not like I ever do. You coming back tonight?”
Not if I find the Marimo. I’m gonna kick his ass into tomorrow afternoon. “I think not, my sweet. I shall see you in the morning.”
Nami nodded and the cook started down the platform with a wave over his shoulder. “Tell Chopper there’s a snack for his watch tonight in the fridge!”
If Nami heard him, she didn’t respond.
X x X x X
It only took Sanji two hours and seven bars to realize he was being ridiculous. He was wasting his free night on land looking for Zoro. What was he, a fucking girl? Who cared where Zoro was! He had every right to go off by himself and do… whatever it was that he was doing!
Son of a bitch! What IS he doing?!! Sanji slammed the mug down on the bar top. His cheeks burned. He knew he’d had more than enough, but as the night wore on, he slipped farther and farther into a funk. The alcohol relaxed him, but it didn’t stop the thoughts that plagued his mind.
He was lonely. That’s all there was to it. Zoro had unwillingly and unknowingly become his friend in the last few months. It was a fucked-up, retarded kind of friendship, but the fucking swordsman filled a big empty space. He closed a gap that had been opened when Sanji had left the Baratie. They were, what, a year apart? A couple months? How old was Zoro anyway? It didn’t matter. Luffy was too young and too weird to be his friend. Franky was creepy sometimes. Usopp was… Usopp. Chopper was… a reindeer…
Zoro was the same as him. They were more compatible. They fought well together-really well together.
“You okay there, friend?” the bartender smiled kindly at Sanji.
The cook frowned, staring through a haze of drunkenness at the man. “You’re buds with a guy if you both like the same stuff, right?”
The bartender chuckled. “Uh, I guess.”
Sanji waved a hand and pushed his glass forward. “I mean, if you both do the same stuff, and hang out a lot together-I’ll have another, by the way.”
The bartender refilled Sanji’s glass and leaned on the counter. “If you hang out a lot together and enjoy all the same stuff, yeah, you’re buds.”
Sanji nodded, taking a swig of whatever he had ordered. “Good. So… lessay, you and this other guy-hees ‘n asshole, just so you know, thiss’s why I’m confused-You and this other guy, fight all the time. All the time! But you kind if enjoy it. Iss fun, it gets you energized; keeps you from going crazy on long stretches at sea.”
The bartender nodded.
Sanji lowered his voice. “And you both looooove girls. You both love girls so much, that you head out every night you’re on land together to pick up chicks… Together. You’ve totally seen thissguy naked like ten times, but it dussn’t matter, ‘cause you’re buds, right?
The bartender looked like he was trying not to laugh. Sanji couldn’t think why what he was saying was funny, so he just pressed on.
“The reason I sort of jumped down ‘is throat at the beginning, was ‘cause I thought he was trying to get with the girls on our ship, and everybody knows I love the girls on the ship. But then, after a while, I thought he was sorta um, un-sexual ‘cause all he did was eat, sleep, and clean hiss words.” The cook took another swallow. “But I guess ’is just really good at hiding it, ‘cause damn, he’s fucking crazy enthusiastic with the hookers. But anyway…”
“So, what’s the problem now?” the bartender asked. “You said you still fight all the time, or something?”
Sanji nodded. “It’s ‘cause we’re both so strong.”
The bartender nodded like he understood. He was a great guy, listening like he was. Sanji smiled up at him and slapped the bar top. “One more! For the road!”
As he swallowed, Sanji thought about the situation. Maybe the reason things were so complicated, was because Zoro and him never actually communicated anything to each other except a few four letter words at a time.
“Maybe I should tell him that we’re friends, ‘cause I don’t think he gets it. He’s kind of slow. Well, ‘cept when we’re fighting. He’s reeeaaally fast when we’re fighting. He looks so cool when he’s doing it. Fighting, I mean, not doing it doing it. I’d never tell him that though, cause then his asshole-ness would skyrocket.”
Sanji rubbed his eyes. “Did you know he fights with a sword in his mouth? Isn’t that awesome? I didn’t know you could fight with a sword in your mouth…”
“Really…” the bartender said softly.
Sanji nodded and hiccupped. “It makes sense though. ‘S the only way he could fight with three. Of course, he could just fight with two, but I guess that wouldn’t be enough of a challenge for him. Stupid bastard.”
As Sanji sipped at his drink, something tugged at the back of his mind. The noise level of the room had lowered considerably, and when the cook glanced to the side, he realized that there were several patrons eyeing him.
The blond turned back to the bartender, and smiled a little crookedly. “I’m in trouble, aren’t I?”
The man nodded slowly. “I suggest you move quickly. You’ve caught the attention of some of our more unsavory pirate hunters.”
Curse my Goddamn mouth. Sanji tipped the glass back and downed the rest of the fiery alcohol. And curse Zoro for getting me into this whole freaking mess!
The cook stood, and straightened his jacket. He turned to face the room, eyeing several men moving to stand in his way of the door.
“I s’ppose,” Sanji slurred, “You’re all here to get your asses beat. I can help you with that, if you like.” He hiccupped. “Free o’ charge.”
The first man snarled at him. He pulled a knife from his boot slowly, and advanced. Sanji watched him come, slipping his hands in his pockets. Even inebriated, the attack seemed a little slow to the cook.
Side-stepping, Sanji brought his knee up into the charging man’s diaphragm. There was a wheeze, a choking exhale, and a heavy thud as the man fell to the floor. Sanji pulled out a cigarette and lit the tip as four others advanced. Taking a drag, the cook dispatched three with clean sweeps of his feet, knocking the men into various tables and sending one crashing into the opposite wall.
The last of his attackers stared at Sanji with wide eyes. The cook puffed on his smoke, swaying slightly, and waited for the man to attack.
“Well?” he asked.
The man shook his head, dropping the bottle in his hand to the floor. “I ain’t fighting a friend of Roronoa’s.” With that, he turned and hurried out the door.
“Thass right!” Sanji called after him. “We are friends! You should go tell him that ‘cause he’s an idiot!”
Sanji swayed again and pulled a few beli out of his pocket. He laid them on the bar and saluted the bartender. “Theressa few extra for your conversation, and the, huh… mess. I tried not to break too much, but I’m a little whoosy.”
The bartender nodded to him, a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. “You have a good one.”
Sanji waved and headed out the front.
He had made it all of about thirty feet before someone called out to him from behind. “Sanji! Blackleg Sanji! Wait up!”
Sanji turned, and smiled when he saw a young woman running to catch up. His vision danced a little as she approached, but he still could make out long, brown hair, and big, innocent brown eyes.
Wow… Chopper eyes… Sanji thought to himself.
“Sanji!” the girl panted when she reached him. “That was amazing! I’ve never seen anyone move like that!”
Sanji smiled and slumped to lean against the brick wall that conveniently stood behind him. “Thank you, love, but it w’ssnothing.”
Straightening, the girl stood almost as tall as Sanji. As the cook let his eyes wander, he noticed that her form was thin, devoid of curves, but still lithe and graceful. He smiled, still a little wobbly.
“Y’r so tall…” he murmured.
She giggled. “And you are so drunk. Let me take you somewhere?”
Oh, that’s what this is… Sanji put up his hands, not wishing to hurt the girl’s feelings. “Thank you, lovely, but I’m really not-”
“Oh, just real quick,” the girl insisted, pulling Sanji into the alley.
The cook had a moment to think about how strong this girl was. How extremely strong this girl was, before he felt his pants being undone, and his fly unzipped.
“Ya know,” Sanji murmured softly, rubbing at his eyes. “I don’t have a lot of beli for this.” He hoped the lie wasn’t too obvious.
“It’s okay,” she said as she dropped to her knees. “I’ll do it for free since you’re a Strawhat.”
Sanji grinned stupidly and leaned his head back against the wall. “Hey, thassokay. If you feel you must, I won’t argue with a delicate flower such as yurself.”
The girl slipped her hands into his pants and wrapped her fingers around his half hard cock. The cook’s back bowed a little at the girl’s grip. She stroked him expertly, with the perfect amount of pressure, and just the right amount of pull. If Sanji thought about it, this was the best hand job he had ever received.
“Shit…” he breathed. “Wass your name?”
“Just call me Kitty,” she murmured, looking up at him with those ridiculously innocent eyes.
Sanji snickered, but his breath caught when the girl’s lips covered him. His hands flew to the wall and he scrambled for purchase. The hooker’s mouth was so talented, Sanji feared his legs would buckle.
“Woa… holy… Shit, you should compete…” Sanji gasped. “Where the fuck did you learn to do that?” He looked down, watching Kitty’s mouth slide over him, her hands pumping him furiously.
Her hands…
Sanji blinked slowly, sobriety coming in sharp and painful as he watched the girl’s hands. They were rough and calloused. Thick knuckles… fleshy pads… Those were most definitely not the hands of a girl.
A queasy wave rolled in Sanji’s gut, and he put his hands firmly on Kitty’s shoulders. He pushed the prostitute off him and pulled her gently towards a standing position. She looked up into Sanji’s face, saw the realization there, and slowly straightened.
Sanji clenched his jaw trying to slow his breathing. He blinked a few times to clear his vision. Tucking himself back into his pants and zipping the fly, he looked at Kitty and shook his head.
“I don’t swing like that.”
Kitty, no doubt humiliated, wiped at his mouth, and his eyes filled. Sanji had to look away. He raised his hand to straighten his tie and the smaller man shrank back like he was expecting a strike. The cook felt a pang at the hooker’s reaction and pulled his cigarettes from his pocket.
“I’m not going to hurt you,” he said softly. “It’s okay.” He offered the pack and Kitty took a stick. He lit the tip for him and turned his back to the breeze to light his own.
When he glanced back, Kitty still looked frightened, so Sanji pulled him back farther into the ally. As the brunette leaned against the wall, tears started to trail down his cheeks. Sanji watched the slight figure, as an ache he couldn’t describe pulled at his chest.
“I’m sorry,” Kitty said softly. “You’re so handsome, and the way you beat those men even though you were drunk… It was so incredible and I was so turned on… I haven’t felt that way about anyone in a long time.” He sucked on the cigarette, and Sanji just watched, the ache building.
“I guess I thought… since you were in the district…”
Sanji’s hand froze on its way to his mouth. The cigarette sat smoldering between his fingers.
“District?” he asked quietly.
Kitty nodded. “You’re in the gay district of town. I… I’m sorry. I thought you knew.”
Sanji finally brought the cigarette to his lips. “Oh…” he said simply.
Kitty took a drag and studied Sanji carefully. He wiped at his eyes delicately, mindful of the heavy eyeliner. “You’re very nice. I’ve misjudged before and gotten the shit beat out of me.”
Sanji looked at the ground. He felt sick. “It’s not for me to judge. You can do whatever you want, just as long as it’s not with me. And just now was a mistake, so it’s all right.” It was mostly true. He didn’t like the fact that another man had touched him, but there was no way he could hit someone that looked so much like a woman, (on top of having Chopper eyes). Besides, the man looked like he hadn’t had a decent meal in days. The cook sighed and rubbed at his eyes again. His buzz was almost completely gone, and all he was left with was a dull pounding in his temples.
Kitty continued to study him. “So… you’re not like, phobic or anything?”
Sanji shook his head.
“So you wouldn’t be mad if you found out one of your friends was gay?”
Sanji chuckled. “No, I wouldn’t. But that’s irrelevant, because none of my friends are.”
As Kitty stared at him, Sanji inhaled and blew the smoke out in a long, thin stream. Something coiled in his gut and he frowned at the prostitute.
“What?” he asked. “It’s true.”
Kitty moved closer and dropped the cigarette, crushing it under the heel of his shoe.
“You should come with me, Blackleg Sanji. There’s something you might want to know.”
X x X x X
Sanji leaned against the metal lamp post as he sucked on a third cigarette. The street was a blaze of color. Lighted signs blinked over bars; clubs and restaurants were packed with noisy patrons; music floated out from several establishments, all mixing together to form a cacophony of unrelated sound.
The building Kitty had pointed out to him was nondescript; three story, with a high wall behind. Sanji guessed there was some kind of hot springs or gardens back there. He stood watching patrons come and go, showing what Kitty had explained was a membership card at the door.
“So…” he exhaled. “That’s a male brothel, and you need a membership card to get in.”
Kitty nodded from his side.
Sanji turned to look at the prostitute. He stood with his hands clasped over his waist. He looked very small and helpless at that moment, despite his height. He really did pull off the girl image very well.
“So, in other words, Zoro couldn’t have gone in there on like, a whim or something. He probably has done this a lot then? Frequented other places like this in other towns?”
Kitty nodded. “I guess. He saved a couple guys who worked at this place on another island. They gave him one as a gift.”
Sanji nodded. That sounded like Zoro. The cook turned back to the building and shoved his hands in his pockets. “And you work there too?”
Kitty nodded, and shuffled his feet. “Not as a companion though. I do housework…maintenance.”
Sanji nodded. “You go by Kitty there too?”
Kitty shook his head. “It’s not a tranny kind of place. I don’t… I’m a guy in there. I go by Saul.”
Sanji looked at him out the corner of his eye. “That your real name?”
Kitty shook his head.
Sanji turned his body, wishing his gaze wouldn’t keep gravitating back to the brothel doors. It’s not like he was standing here waiting for Zoro to come out or anything.
“So, what is your name?”
Kitty looked at the ground, his cheeks turning pink. He wrung his hands and Sanji felt himself actually charmed by the man’s mannerisms.
Don’t even… It’s only because he reminds you of Chopper… Damn those ridiculous brown eyes!
“Um… I’m J-Jacob,” the hooker murmured softly.
Sanji figured he should end this now before this kid fell in love with him or something. He fished his small pouch of beli from his pocket, intending to shake out a few coins, but then thought better of it, and handed the pouch over to Jacob.
The prostitute looked at him then, his jaw dropping. He shook his head furiously and backed up a few steps.
“I can’t. I didn’t do anything!”
Sanji sighed. “You showed me where my friend was. Take it and go eat something.”
Jacob eyed the pouch and hesitantly moved to take it from Sanji’s hand. He held it close, clutching it against his chest. The cook watched tears build in the smaller man’s eyes and felt his stomach do a flip flop.
“Now, get out of here.”
Jacob nodded and turned around, moving quickly down the street.
Sanji once again turned to look at the three story building. Zoro never stayed the night at brothels, so he shouldn’t be much longer. The cook decided to just wait for him. When he came out, Sanji would show the mother fucker the bottom of his shoe.
X x X x X
Squinting against the morning sun, Christian closed the door behind the handsome swordsman, and leaned against the heavy wood. Holy fuck he was sore. Good sore, but completely and totally tender, fucked-within-an-inch-of-his-life, kind of sore. All cock after Zoro was going to fail miserably in comparison.
The blond grinned at Roman, and the two moved to climb the stairs. Christian held the railing to steady himself as he ascended, much to the amusement of his friend. Jase and Quill passed them on the way up and whistled. Jase actually slapped Chris’ ass, sending a spike of pain shooting through the blond’s spine, but he only turned and blew them a kiss.
“You gonna tell us about it?” Quill asked.
“No,” Chris rolled his eyes. “I was planning on keeping the best fuck of my life all to myself.”
As Jase and Quill laughed behind him, Chris and Roman reached the top of the stairs. They were about to part ways, but stopped when they saw a small crowd gathered by the front windows. Wondering what was happening outside, they changed direction and headed toward the commotion.
“What the hell’s going on?” Chris asked Wolf.
Wolf turned crystal blue eyes, and a head of dark hair streaked with silver in Chris’ direction. “Your last patron is outside getting his ass chewed.”
“What!?” Chris moved to push in between skinny Shadow, and tall, tattooed Wren. “You’re fucking lying!”
Wren chuckled softly and leaned against the window frame. His long, red hair fell over his shoulders and tickled Chris’ cheek.
“I wouldn’t say ‘chewed out’. There ain’t a whole lot of talkin’ going on down there.”
Chris pressed his forehead against the glass and peered down below to the street in front of the brothel. He saw Zoro, his arms crossed over his chest, and his face set in a scowl. He looked so different than he had only minutes ago when he had said goodbye.
“Wow,” the blond murmured, “He’s really upset.”
Shadow snorted at his side. “I’d be upset too.”
“Yeah,” Wren seemed to be holding back a laugh. “That blond looks ready to breathe fire.”
“You didn’t tell us you had a brother, Chrissy!” Wolf snickered.
“I don’t,” Chris murmured, his gaze rolling over the figure glaring all kinds of daggers at Zoro. “At least, I don’t think I do…”
The blond in the nice suit resembled Chris enough that it felt a little surreal. He had the same hair, and the same eyes. His basic facial structure was similar as well, but it was obvious that this guy worked out a hell of a lot more than Christian ever wanted to. The prostitute could tell that Zoro’s acquaintance was in no way as frail as his slight frame denoted. There was a surplus amount of power hidden underneath that well-fitted wool, especially in his legs…
“Well, well…” Roman’s raspy baritone crooned in Christian’s ear. “Looks like Roronoa Zoro got caught.”
Chris snickered and shook his hips.
“Don’t you have an early appointment, Roman?” Wren said merrily. “The son of the magistrate, or something like that?”
Roman snorted and straightened. “And miss this chance to watch the famous Zoro get castigated by the boyfriend? Not a chance.”
“Castigated?” Shadow snickered. “That’s a new one.”
“That English professor that shows up once in a while,” Roman shrugged over Christian’s shoulders. “He’s very… vocal.”
“And castigated came up?” Shadow made a face. “Are you sure that means what you think it means?”
Christian, more interested in what was happening below, pressed more fully against the window.
“What makes you say this guy’s Zoro’s boyfriend?”
“Yeah,” Wren cocked an eyebrow. “I would think a boyfriend would’a freaked out a little more. This guy’s just turning him to stone with his glare.”
“God, he is so hot…” Wolf pressed forward, practically drooling on Christian’s arm.
“Who’s hot?” Small, silver-haired Yukie slipped between Christian and Wren to see what was causing the clog in the hallway.
Roman yawned and Christian didn’t have to look to know the larger man was stretching his arms over his head, pulling the muscles in his chest and torso. “Well, maybe not a boyfriend…”
“Oh my God!” Yukie exclaimed. “I saw this guy last night!”
All eyes turned to the boy as he leaned against the glass.
“Really? Where?” Shadow asked, his black hair falling into his eyes. It was strange to see the usually calm and reserved man so excited.
“I saw him with Saul!” Yukie bounced. “They were talking down the street by the big crossway sign late last night!”
“Saul? The handyman, Saul?” Chris demand.
Yukie nodded. “He works the streets around the brothel at night. You wouldn’t recognize him though, he dresses like a girl.”
“Saul’s a tranny?” Wren asked, surprise lifting his thin eyebrows.
“Wolf, go find Saul!” Christian turned around. “I want to know about the blondie.”
“But I wanna waaaaatch!” Wolf whined.
“Go!” Christian growled. He turned to the others as Wolf stomped off. “And you guys go… do something. I’ll let you know what I find out after I talk to Saul. Shoo! Shoo!”
The others left reluctantly, stealing a few quick glances out the window before trudging down the hall. “You better spill the second you know what’s up.” Wren winked at Chris before he descended the stairs. The blond sighed and leaned against the window sill.
Only Roman remained. His dark hair had the tousled, just rolled out of bed look, but his eyes were sparkling. He studied Christian with his amused gaze and reached one tattooed hand out to brush blond bangs from the smaller man’s forehead.
“What are you planning?” he asked softly.
Christian shrugged, smiling mischievously at his best friend. “Oh, nothing.”
X x X x X
Sanji ground his teeth. It was bad enough that Zoro had made him wait all night outside on a street crawling with okama but, just to add icing to this fucking cake, he had run out of cigarettes about four hours ago. The cook had almost slipped away to go buy a pack, but he knew the instant he left his post, Zoro would come rambling out.
Of course, the whole thing was retarded. He could have just gone back to the ship and confronted the swordsman there, but Sanji really wanted to see the look on Zoro’s face when he realized he had been caught.
As of this moment, the green-haired idiot was looking at him with slivered eyes, and a kind of scowl in the line of his lips. It wasn’t that much different than the looks the swordsman always gave him when Sanji pointed out the Marimo’s horrid sense of direction.
Sanji sighed, pulling out a cigarette and lighting up in his imagination (it was all he had at the moment). “So…” This is where he would have exhaled slowly, building the anticipation. “Pussy just wouldn’t cut it last night, huh?”
Zoro’s form went rigid. His eyes widened and his nostrils flared. Those strong arms, usually so steady and sure, slipped from their perch across his chest, and his hands fumbled for a spot at his hips. You would have had to know Zoro to really see the slip, but it was there, and Sanji felt tremendous triumph at flustering the unshakeable swordsman so thoroughly.
“What…” Zoro paused, taking a short breath. “What are you doing here, cook? How did you find me?”
Sanji slipped his hands into his pockets. “You’re kind of high profile, Marimo. I just asked where you’d gone.”
Zoro blinked. “Why were you asking where I was?”
Instead of answering, Sanji took a step forward. He didn’t feel like getting in a fight right there in the middle of the street, but he definitely felt like getting into a fight-a fucking cosmic battle. Strangely though, he was still kind of calm. The anger was there, oh yes, the rage boiled below the surface, but it was sort of… tied up. It had been like this since last night with Kitty. He wanted to scream and break things, slam large objects into larger objects, but he couldn’t seem to tap into all that fire and brimstone he knew was down there… somewhere. It sucked because more than anything, he itched to smash Zoro into a wall. He wanted to pound the asshole’s face into the pavement with his heel. He wasn’t even sure he knew why, he just knew he wanted to.
Laughter rang out behind the cook, and Sanji glanced around at the passersby. Maybe the natural stunt in his fury was a good thing. There was stuff he wanted to say, and he didn’t really want rubberneckers.
“Come with me.” With that, Sanji turned and started down the street, confident that Zoro would follow.
X x X x X
Yup, he was right. Sanji was pissed. That weird quiet had been all fake.
As another log snatched from the sandy beach flew past his head, Zoro wondered if there was a way to knock the cook out and give him enough brain damage for a little memory loss but no other permanent damage. Probably not, but maybe it was worth it to try?
Unfortunately, the swordsman found he really didn’t feel like fighting the cook. He didn’t even feel like defending himself. The only reason the various things Sanji kicked in his direction didn’t connect, was that his reflexes sort of worked on their own, despite Zoro’s feelings toward the situation.
Any kind of friendship he had managed to gain with Sanji was no doubt toast at this point, and it really surprised Zoro how much that realization hurt. Stupid cook had really gotten under his damn skin.
He was so deep in self wallowing, that it took Zoro a moment to realize that Sanji had finally started cussing him out. He steadied himself, preparing for the montage of shit coming his way. It wasn’t that he was ashamed (Zoro was never ashamed of anything he did) but he had hoped that if Sanji ever found out about his more… exotic tastes, it would have been under different circumstances.
“…stupid, fucking, Marimo.” Sanji growled as he uncovered another log washed up from the ocean. He twisted, hooking the large piece of wood with his toes, and sent it sailing though the air. Zoro ducked as the log zoomed by.
“You know, Zoro!” Sanji hissed. “You’re a fucking idiot!”
Yeah, I know. “Oi, cook,” Zoro grumbled. “If there’s something you wanna say to me, just say it.”
Sanji clenched his fists and dug the heels of his palms into his eyes. “Do you have ANY idea what I went through last night!? I felt all weird cause you ran off by yourself all mysterious like, so I tried to find you, and got drunk, and ended up getting attacked in a bar just because I mentioned your name!” The cook’s hands moved to his temples, rubbing jerky circles into his skull. “I have the most fantastic headache now, and you know what? It’s not even from the alcohol! I was in the gay district, and didn’t know it! The gay district, asshole! There was this girl that turned out to not be a girl, and next thing I know, I have A GUY WITH HIS MOUTH ON MY DICK! I got attacked, almost robbed, molested by a dude, and it’s all your fucking fault! AND NOW I’M OUT OF FUCKING CIGARETTES ON TOP OF EVERYTHING ELSE!!!
Zoro didn’t know whether to laugh, cry, or scream. He folded his arms over his chest again, and side stepped out of the way of a few flying bottles.
Sanji kicked at the sand, pacing in circles, growling and spitting in between expletives that went over Zoro’s head. The swordsman sighed in frustration, wishing the cook would just get to the point already.
But then Sanji did something that Zoro never considered. The blond took a breath and ceased his ranting. He wiped a hand over his face and moved slowly up the beach to sit on a large rock. He brought his knees up and rested his chin in his hand. He didn’t look at Zoro, didn’t say anything. He just sat, watching the waves as they rolled over the shore.
Zoro felt a little queasy. This was not how he had imagined things going. In fact, this was not even close. Was it possible that Sanji hated him so much, was so disgusted by him now that he didn’t even feel like fighting him anymore? That would pretty much be the worst fucking thing that could ever happen to Zoro besides losing to Mihawk again, or Luffy deciding he didn’t want to be pirate king any more. Nausea rolled in the swordsman’s gut as he tried to sort out what to do.
Fortunately, Sanji spoke before the swordsman could say anything stupid.
“You’re such an asshole…”
Zoro ground his teeth. He had been expecting Sanji to be a dick about it, but now that it was actually happening, it hurt and pissed him off a lot more than he had expected. “You know what? Fuck you, cook! I don’t have to justify anything I do to you! I don’t have to explain anything I do to you! This is the reason I had to be secretive, because I knew that you were gonna be a fucking prick about it if you found out, and I didn’t want the fucking hassle!”
Sanji stood then with such speed, and came at him with such ferocity, that Zoro actually had to take a step back. The cook’s rage swirled around him like the winds blowing in from the ocean. Zoro could actually feel the white hot anger radiating from Sanji’s body.
“Is that what you fucking think!” Sanji screamed. “Is that really what you think of me, you stupid Marimo son of a bitch! You think I care where you put your dick!? You think I would make fun of you, or tell on you to the rest of the crew!? Do you seriously think that little of me!!?
Zoro held up his hands. A few minutes ago, he would have said yes. Well… maybe not. Maybe he knew deep down that Sanji wasn’t really like that. Maybe he had just been a little… what was the word… scared?
“I…” Zoro said softly. “No… not really.”
“Then what the fuck!” Sanji bent and swung his leg at Zoro’s side. The swordsman blocked with his forearm, sending pain rocketing up through his shoulder. “You should know friends don’t do that kind of shit to each other! Nakama don’t do that kind of shit to each other!”
The words, rather than the kick, knocked Zoro on his ass. He sat in the warm sand, the sun beating down on the back of his neck. He was too shocked to say anything; too confused to do anything.
Sanji was okay with it? Sanji was okay with him being into guys? How was that even possible? Had he fallen asleep and woken up in a parallel universe?
And friends… Sanji had said they were friends… When had they become friends? They had always been comrades, but friends?
“Holy fuck, I need a cigarette,” Sanji breathed, landing with a soft thud next to Zoro on the sand.
Zoro still couldn’t move. His limbs felt like wet noodles. For so long he had carefully kept this secret; always in the back of his mind there was that anxiety that someone in the crew would find out. And then bam! Here comes Sanji, loud and obnoxious, and sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong like he always did… But wonder of wonders, the idiot-cook was okay with it.
“So…” Zoro tried to speak. “It’s not weird?”
“Oh, it’s weird.” Sanji lay back, unbuttoning his jacket. “It’s fucking weird… But whatever. Our captain is made out of rubber. Our doctor is a reindeer. There’s a cyborg on board that struts around in a thong, and if that wasn’t enough, we have an eight foot skeleton for a musician. There’s weirder stuff to deal with than your sexuality on a regular basis.”
Zoro nodded, still feeling a little off balance, but he knew it would pass. They sat under the sun for a while, quiet, each lost in his own thoughts. Finally, Zoro stood slowly and straightened his haramaki. He glanced down at Sanji and suppressed something that felt a little like gratitude.
“Let’s get back to the ship, cook,” he growled. “I’m hungry.”
X x X x X
Life was returned to normal when Sanji and Zoro climbed aboard the ship. Luffy made a big deal about breakfast being late, so Sanji headed for the galley without delay. They ate, Zoro trained, Sanji sang a farewell to the girls and Chopper as they left for an exciting day of shopping. The rest of the crew lazed around, enjoying the sun, or went about their business of playing music, building things, or blowing them up.
Lunchtime came and went. The late afternoon found Sanji finishing up the rest of the dishes and placing a large roast, complete with potatoes and vegetables, into the oven. He washed up, wiped his hands on a dish rag, and stepped out onto the deck for a smoke.
The cook watched the sun dance across the tops of the mountains, thinking that from this distance, the town was exceptionally beautiful. He inhaled, savoring the taste and feel of the nicotine entering his system.
Unfortunately, his moment of piece was broken by a call from Usopp.
“Sanji!” The sniper panted as he neared the cook. “There’s someone here. He wants to talk to you.”
Sanji cocked an eyebrow. “Who is he?”
Usopp shrugged. “Just some guy. He’s waiting on the dock over there.” The younger man pointed in the direction of the loading ramp and stepped aside for Sanji to pass.
“You tell Luffy?” Sanji asked as he headed in the direction Usopp indicated.
Usopp nodded. “I mentioned it to him, but he said if this guy was here to see you, then it wasn’t his problem.”
Sanji rolled his eyes and started down toward the dock.
The sight that awaited him was a little surreal, and the cook slowed his step for a moment to take it in. The man that waited for him on the docks below was about his height, with the same blond hair and very similar blue eyes. His skinny form fit into a dark wool suit, and he stood lazily with his hands in his pockets.
The cook slipped his cigarette between his teeth, and dropped to the heavy wooden planks in front of his strange visitor. He took a few moments to study the man, marveling at the similarities in their looks, but keeping a mask of indifference on his face.
Finally, he pulled the cigarette from his mouth and exhaled slowly.
“Nice suit.”
The man smiled, and Sanji was stunned. This guy was almost pretty. “Hello, Sanji,” he said in a sultry tenor. “I was wondering if I might have a word with you.”
Sanji cocked an eyebrow. “Well, seems to me you’ve already had several.” He took another drag on his cigarette. “Who the hell are you?”
The man tilted his head in a playful way. “Just a friend of Zoro’s. My name is Christian.”
Sanji frowned. “A friend of Zoro’s? Where the hell-”
Suddenly it hit Sanji, and the cook almost dropped his cigarette. There was only one way this guy knew Zoro, and that was if this guy was from the brothel.
“Oh…” Sanji tried desperately to regain his composure. “You’re uh… you’re from the uh…”
“I’m a companion, yes,” Christian chuckled. “I entertained Zoro last night. He made… quite an impression.”
Sanji swallowed. “Well, he’s here right now, just probably napping. If you want to see-”
“No, no,” Christian held up his hands. “I came here to see you.”
Sanji blinked. “Huh? Why?”
Christian’s smile changed and his tongue slipped out to run over his bottom lip. He took a step forward and gently took the cigarette from Sanji’s fingers. He brought it to his lips and inhaled slowly. He returned it to the cook and opened his mouth to blow out three smoke rings. Sanji watched, his heart beating against his ribcage, not sure what to think, or even do.
“I came here to invite you to have dinner with me tonight.”
Sanji swallowed. “I… that’s really nice of you, but I’m not-”
“I’m not offering sex,” Christian murmured. “I’m asking if you would come have dinner with me and a few of my friends. We’ve heard so much about your travels with the Strawhat pirates, and we’d love to meet you… get to know you, like we did with Zoro.”
Sanji clenched his jaw. On the one hand, his brain was screaming no! but the curious side of him, the adventurous side of him, said he should accept. He would probably never get another chance like this to learn things about Zoro’s world.
“I… okay, I guess.” Sanji took a breath. “I don’t have a lot of money though. So-”
Christian flipped a coin to Sanji, and the cook caught it. He glanced down, thinking at first that it was an ordinary beli, but when he studied it harder, he realized it was something entirely different.
“That’s not our usual membership card,” Christian explained. “That is my personal coin. It’s good for one time only. I would like it returned, even if you change your mind and decide not to come tonight.”
“Uh…” Sanji couldn’t seem make words at first. “Thank you…”
Christian did a little bow, turned on his heel, and started back down the docks toward the city. “I’m looking forward to tonight!”
Sanji suddenly thought of something, and called out to the blond man.
“Wait, am I supposed to come alone?! Or do I bring Zoro?!”
Christian waved over his shoulder. “Whatever you want!”
Sanji watched him go, still confused. He looked down at the coin burning a hole in his palm. He dropped his spent cigarette on the ground, crushing it out with his foot, and climbed back up onto the ship. He stood for a moment, not sure what he should do, but then slowly started towards the crow’s nest where he knew Zoro was sleeping off the wine from lunch.
As he climbed, he told himself he wasn’t excited, and pretended he didn’t feel the butterflies dancing in his stomach.
TBC
Previous chapters HERE.
xD