Kakashi/Iruka Fic 6/9
Shit has it really been over a year again?
Well, here is chapter six. I didn't mean for it to be so long, but I needed to get things set up for the next bit. I'm sorry for all the introspection--not really.
Enjoy Kakashi torturing himself. ;)
Title: What Doesn't Kill You
Paring: Kakashi/Iruka
Rating: Big fat NC-17
Warnings: Angst, manpain, language, BDSM, slight non-con warning.
Summary: Kakashi and Iruka are sent on a dangerous and enlightening mission. Unfortunately, this mission could have serious emotional as well as physical ramifications.
<< part 5
Part Six: Monster
When Kakashi woke, he found his face buried in soft, brown hair. At first he couldn't make sense of the situation, but it only took him a handful of seconds to figure it out. Iruka's smell was everywhere, all around him, invading his senses and forcing Kakashi to remember the events of last night. Or, judging by the faint light from the window, a mere few hours ago.
He could not escape without untangling himself, and he had absolutely no intention of doing that, so he moved in closer. Iruka's back was pressed up against his chest. The sensei's breathing was even, calm, but it was obvious he was also very much awake. Carefully, Kakashi slid a hand over a muscled hip and nuzzled forward into the junction between neck and shoulder. The skin there was warm and soft, and Kakashi did not even try to resist the urge to kiss it.
He heard Iruka sigh and froze. He waited. When the sensei did not try to move or leave his hold, Kakashi carefully pressed his lips to that skin a second time. A third. No resistance. The Copy Nin took that as consent and thrilled at the thought of being able to touch the other man like this. Unhurried, gentle, and all alone with no one to perform for. If Iruka was letting him do this, then... what did that mean?
Fingers ghosted over the back of his hand, and Kakashi actually shivered. Iruka laced their hands together and guided their touch slowly down his stomach. His cock was firm underneath Kakashi's palm, warm. Heart racing, Kakashi rose up to rest on his elbow to stroke Iruka's length at a better angle. It was also easier to kiss down a smooth shoulder, a firm bicep. He couldn't believe the sensei was okay with this, that he wanted Kakashi again after all that had happened. This was no longer comfort, this was lust, need, this was... what was this exactly?
He left soft, open-mouthed kisses anywhere he could reach. Kakashi's tongue felt like ice as it dragged slowly over flesh so hot it was like fire. Iruka moaned as Kakashi pumped him slowly and ran his lips down hard-packed muscle, across tight hips. He gently pushed the sensei to his back and felt hands in his hair as he moved his mouth across Iruka’s amazing stomach.
He looked at the swollen cock in his hand. It was so perfect, so smooth, he wanted so much to put his lips around it. To run his tongue up the side. To hear Iruka’s moans of pleasure as he drank him down.
But he could not move.
Iruka’s hands were in his hair, but he was not pulling, at least Kakashi didn’t think so. Why couldn’t he move? What was happening?
His muscles were not responding. He couldn’t even move his eyes. Was it a jutsu? Shit, had they been discovered? Kakashi’s heart sped up, his breathing became harsh as he fought against whatever was holding him frozen. Panic started to well up in his gut, in his heart. If he couldn’t move, he couldn’t protect Iruka! This didn’t make any sense! How could he not move and have no idea what was happening?!
There was a kunai at his neck. The cold steel of the blade was pressing into his skin. Hard enough to draw blood? He couldn’t tell.
“Bastard…”
Everything inside Kakashi seemed to break all at once. His heart, his soul, his very essence was crushed at the sound of that voice. Kakashi realized at that moment what was happening. And it destroyed him.
It was Iruka. Iruka had the kunai to his throat.
“What do you think you’re doing?” The sensei’s voice trembled with anger. “You think I’m just some sex slave you can use whenever you feel like it?”
No. No, Iruka, I don’t think that at all! Kakashi tried to say, but his voice was gone.
He felt a hand on his shoulder and found himself pushed to his back on the bed. Iruka came over him, still holding the kunai. The sensei was crying, his face wet with tears and red with fury. The sight broke Kakashi’s heart and soul all over again.
“You monster,” Iruka growled, “How could you do this? How could you think any of this was okay?”
I’m sorry, Iruka! I’m sorry! I love you! I never wanted to hurt you!
“You fail everyone! You fail yourself! You don’t even deserve to be a shinobi!”
Kakashi wanted to die. Iruka’s voice was in his head, tearing him apart piece by piece.
“Leave! Disappear! I never want to see you again! See if you can live with yourself knowing that you’re disgusting! And a liar! I HATE you! I HATE-”
Kakashi jerked awake.
He blinked his eyes, trying to focus on the textured ceiling, and took a few deep, shaking breaths. Sunlight poured in from the window, and he could smell coffee. It was a dream? Wait, of course it was a dream. What the hell? So stupid!
“Kakashi-san?”
Kakashi’s head whipped to the side. He was shocked to find Iruka, dressed, and sitting beside him on the bed. The sensei’s hair was brushed smooth but still damp from the shower. He looked relaxed, rested. Infinitely better than he had the night before.
“Kakashi-san, are you all right? You were… it sounded like you were in pain.”
The Copy Nin wiped at his face in a futile attempt to hide his embarrassment and then sat up. The sheets were bunched around his hips. He almost reached for them to try and cover himself up but stopped at the last moment. What would be the point? No sense making this even more awkward.
“Just a bad dream,” he said softly, “It’s not a big deal.”
“What about?” Iruka asked.
Kakashi shrugged. “Oh, you know, one of those that isn’t really scary, but you’re terrified anyway. Like you can’t figure out how to turn off the water in the shower or something.”
To his surprise, Iruka chuckled.
“I have dreams where I can’t flip pancakes.”
Kakashi pushed past his embarrassment and looked up. Iruka was smiling softly, looking right into Kakashi’s eyes. Somehow, just that simple act made the horror of his nightmare Iruka fade. The fear and the shame he had felt as he was held down and threatened with everything he hated about himself still lingered, but it had returned to something manageable.
“Do you end up flipping them over onto themselves? I do that all the time.”
Iruka chuckled again, the sound seemed to be a bandage for Kakashi’s troubling thoughts.
“No, I can’t flip them period, and then they burn. It’s really sad.”
Kakashi had to laugh at that. The thought seemed ridiculous, but in the world of dreams, he could see how it would be terrifying.
“It’s just stress, Kakashi-san,” Iruka said, “It’ll be okay.”
The sensei raised his hand and Kakashi almost flinched. He immediately regretted it however, when Iruka merely brushed Kakashi’s hair from his eyes, and then cupped his jaw in his palm. They stayed that way for a few moments. Iruka’s eyes were clear and focused, even if they were a little sad.
For the second time, Kakashi found himself submitting to Iruka’s comfort, and for the second time, he felt strange accepting it. Before this, it had always been him giving the comfort. He was the one who always brought his submissive back from the edge, or from that place beyond; that dark place Kakashi had no desire to go. It was not bad, it didn’t feel wrong, just… strange.
Kakashi swallowed thickly. “You don’t have to worry about me. Are you all right, sensei?”
Iruka nodded, “Yes.” He released Kakashi’s jaw and lowered his hands to his lap. He was still calm, still collected, but the air in the room had changed. There was tension that had not been there before.
“I am… extremely embarrassed about last night,” Iruka murmured.
“You don’t have to be,” Kakashi said.
“I know that but I can’t just make it stop.”
Shifting, Kakashi found a more comfortable position and leaned in. He was trying to get himself further into the sensei’s line of sight. It seemed to work as Iruka glanced at him out he corner of his eye.
“Do you need to talk about it, sensei? It might help.”
Iruka shook his head. “I do but we have a mission, Kakashi-san. I plan on walking out that door and leaving it in here. I’ll pretend that it didn’t happen so we can focus on what’s important. My embarrassment and my feelings aren’t a priority.”
Kakashi’s heart started to beat a little faster.
“They are to me.”
Iruka turned and looked at him then. His eyes were a mixture of so many things that Kakashi could not distinguish a single emotion. Fear? Sadness? Loneliness? No, that last one might be Kakashi’s own wishful thinking.
“I don’t want to be more of a burden than I already am, Kakashi-san.”
It was so hard to keep himself from reaching out and taking Iruka’s hand. So fucking hard.
“You’re not a burden, you could never be a burden, sensei. Besides, how comfortable you are and how comfortable you are with me is extremely important. It is part of the mission.” But really, fuck the mission. I just want you to be happy. “Please, Iruka-sensei, I don’t mind. If you want to ask your questions, ask.”
A long silence passed between the two of them. Iruka studied Kakashi’s eyes with that completely unguarded yet unreadable face until the Copy Nin’s stomach started to roll with anticipation.
Finally, Iruka took a breath.
“Why did you abandon this lifestyle, Kakashi-san?”
Kakashi swallowed thickly, that was not what he had expected to be asked. Then again, Iruka seemed to always do exactly what Kakashi did not expect.
“I kept hurting people,” Kakashi said. “I would take scenes too far, or I would need an outlet for frustration, but the people I would scene with…” he took a breath. “When your sub isn’t your partner and doesn’t know anything about you, they can’t read you. They can’t tell when you’re over the limit or past what you can take mentally.” Kakashi’s chest started to tighten at terrible memories of the shameful things he had done. He couldn’t understand why he was telling Iruka all of this, he could have just made something up, spare himself the humiliation.
“I’m not… good at holding myself back. I can be, but not after a mission or after… losing someone. I would be cruel to subs and they would just let me. It was awful. I would leave disgusted with myself and in worse shape than when I came in.”
He didn’t look up. He didn’t want to see Iruka’s face. If he was also disgusted with what Kakashi had done, or what he used to be, Kakashi knew he would not survive it. On the other hand, if he was understanding or forgiving, Kakashi knew he might not be able to stop himself from doing something very stupid.
“Were…” Iruka’s voice was so soft. “I mean… did anything we did together disgust you?”
Kakashi’s head snapped up. He met Iruka’s sad eyes and felt something inside himself break. Not for the first time.
“No!” he could not stress the word enough. “No, god, no. Never. Never. I know you, and I trust you. We’re on a mission-working-together. You learn so fast and you’re so…” damnit, I love you so much… “You could never disgust me, Iruka-sensei.”
Iruka seemed to relax. The tension in his shoulders left and he may have even leaned in a little closer to where Kakashi sat rigid.
“I’m...” he said softly, “That’s good.”
`
There was more Kakashi wanted to say, and many things he wanted to ask Iruka, but he pushed it all back and tried to calm his racing heart.
“What else?”
Again, to his surprise, Iruka smiled. It was barely a turn of lips, but it was there.
“Seems silly now.”
Kakashi shook his head. “No, it’s not. I promise.”
Iruka took another slow breath before he spoke. “Last night, was that how you would usually comfort a submissive? Like, another part of a scene? Or was it more like… how you are now?”
Not sure how to answer, Kakashi sat chewing his lip. He must have sat for too long however, because the skin around Iruka’s scar started to turn pink.
“I’m sorry,” Iruka murmured, “I don’t know if asking that is rude or not.”
This time when Kakashi tried to swallow, he couldn’t. His throat was too dry.
“It’s not rude, sensei. And to be completely honest, I don’t know how I am now. I haven’t had any opportunity. And last night? Yes, it was like part of a scene, but not completely because it was you, and I know you. I just wanted to make you feel better. You were hurting and I just wanted to make it stop. That’s it.”
Sorry, Iruka. That’s not it, but hopefully you’ll accept that…
Something flickered in Iruka’s eyes then, but Kakashi was emotionally exhausted, and so past the point of being able to discern what the other man was thinking, it was almost funny. When the sensei’s hand came up and his palm returned to the Copy Nin’s jaw, Kakashi did not flinch. In fact, he leaned in, nuzzling into the other man’s warm touch.
“Thank you, Kakashi-san,” he said, “thank you for telling me. I’ll try and control myself a little better next time. I won’t lose myself like that again.”
The words were on Kakashi’s lips before he could stop them. “It’s all right, sensei. If you do, I’ll be here to bring you back.”
Iruka’s eyes widened and the blush across his scar spread. Within seconds the sensei’s entire face was bright red, and he was stammering behind his fingers.
“Th-thank you, Kakashi-san. I… I’m um…” He was adorable. How could a grown man be so fucking adorable?
Recovering quickly, Iruka took a breath and stood, leaving the space beside Kakashi very cold and empty. “Well, now that I’m twice as embarrassed as I was a minute ago, I’m going to go out into the other room. Once I cross the threshold, it didn’t happen.”
Kakashi nodded. “Okay.”
“No teasing.”
Chuckling, Kakashi played with the sheets. “I wouldn’t do that.”
“Yes, you would.”
The Copy Nin watched Iruka’s back as he crossed the room and reached for the doorknob.
“Hey, sensei.”
“Hm?” the younger man turned around.
The Copy Nin held up his hands and made grabbing motions in the air. “You have the most amazing ass I’ve ever seen.”
“W-what?” he was sputtering. “You said you wouldn’t tease!”
“You haven’t crossed the threshold yet!”
Iruka made an exasperated noise as he opened the door, but he didn’t slip out fast enough to hide his smile.
After the door shut, Kakashi watched the space where Iruka had been standing for a long time. He felt better. He shouldn’t have, he didn’t deserve it, but there it was. Things were still going to be awkward between them, strange, but even if Iruka was embarrassed and even if he didn’t like what they were doing, at least Kakashi knew he was going to be okay. He was focused again, ready to finish the mission. All they had to do was get through this last day, and then they would be done and then they could go home and have all of these memories erased. They would go back to the way they were, like none of this had ever happened.
Sighing, the Copy Nin threw off the sheet and stood. A shower would do wonders.
* * *
“There’s coffee and pastries on the cart,” Iruka said, “The lemon one is okay, but I think the cherry is too sweet.”
Kakashi looked over the assortment of breakfast treats, wondering if it was worth the headache he would have later from the sugar crash.
“Where did these come from?” he asked.
Iruka waved at the cart as he read the paper. “Son Yang. He left a note with information about the club we’re going to tonight in case we wanted to perform.”
“We should.” Kakashi poured himself a cup of coffee and selected a plain roll. “A performance would give us opportunity for recon and easy access to the entire area.”
Iruka nodded. “I thought the same thing.”
Kakashi chewed and moved to the table. It felt strange eating and talking to Iruka like this, but strangely, it also felt right. Comfortable. Iruka really had put last night in the other room and kept it there. He was calm and collected, focused again, like any good shinobi should be. The air in the room was easy, light, like nothing out of the ordinary was happening, or was going to happen. It was incredible how the young man could partition his mind and body like that. Kakashi knew seasoned elite that couldn’t do that. The Copy Nin knew he was going to have to do the same. It was going to be difficult, but he could do it. He could be strong for Iruka’s sake.
Pushing his anxiety and stress and all those other distracting feelings to the side, Kakashi placed his coffee, roll, and the club information sheet on the table adjacent to where the sensei sat, and lowered himself to the cushion.
“We won’t have to do anything too rough tonight.”
Iruka looked at him then, “Really?”
Kakashi nodded. “It’s unlikely in this setting that they’ll want something heavy. I’m fairly certain we won’t even be the only couple performing. It’s possible we might not even have a set performance time and they will expect us to just roam.”
“Oh, I was going to ask you,” Iruka said, “I don’t know the protocol for interaction within community.”
“It sometimes depends on the venue,” Kakashi said as he took a sip of coffee, “but there are a few general rules that go without saying. No touching unless you have permission. Subs can get away with touching other subs most of the time, unless their Master or Dominant has forbidden it, but Masters and Dominants can’t. You must get permission to touch someone else’s sub or slave, also to touch their toys or equipment.”
“Haru was allowed to touch others, after getting permission, I’m assuming.”
Kakashi nodded again. “Correct. Haru would do recon while Endo would chat up the figureheads. Book more shows, acquire private scenes with specific targets, that kind of thing.”
“I noticed the club has no set dress code, so I won’t be required to wear any type of restraints. I can move around freely.”
“I think they’ll be expecting you to,” Kakashi finished the last of his pastry and licked the sweetness off the tips of his fingers. “Haru is quite well-known for his dances.”
“Yeah,” Iruka murmured, “I read that.”
Kakashi smiled, “What, sensei, you questioning your moves?”
“No, my ‘moves’ are fine,” Kakashi was pleased to see the mischievous flash of teeth as the sensei spoke, “It’s just not something I like to do in front of old perverts.”
“I’m an old pervert.”
Another smile, “Old perverts I don’t know.”
“Just pretend I’m the only one there then. And you never know, maybe some of them are younger perverts. The age limit is only twenty.”
“Oh my god,” Iruka laughed behind his fingers, “shut up.”
Kakashi loved that laugh. He wished he could hear it more often.
“But seriously, sensei, I’m sure you’ll do fine, your instincts will get you through. All we have to do now is construct a scene.”
“Speaking of which,” Iruka said, “I think I have an idea.”
* * *
The car picked them up at the back entrance just as the sun started to set. Kakashi sat with Iruka stretched out on the seat beside him, head in the Copy Nin’s lap. There was Champaign and fruit provided at the small mobile bar, and Kakashi had quickly busied himself with feeding Iruka a handful of small, red grapes.
“They’re so sweet, Endo-san,” Iruka said softly as he rolled the flesh over his tongue. “May I have some Champaign?”
“What will you give me if I let you have some?”
Iruka smiled, “What do you want, Endo-san?”
Kakashi took a sip from his glass. “Hm, your devotion, your undying love, your body…”
Giggling, Iruka lifted a hand and ran the backs of his fingers over Kakashi’s mouth. “You already have all those things, you have to be more specific. What about a kiss?”
Kakashi pretended to think that over as he watched out the window. “A kiss for some Champaign… sounds reasonable.”
He took a small sip and leaned in over Iruka. Their lips met gently, and Kakashi opened to share the Champaign with his partner. Iruka moaned and lapped it up with his tongue, sucking it from Kakashi’s lips before he slid a hand around the Copy Nin’s neck.
“Endo-san,” he breathed, “May I have some more, please?”
“No, my lovely Haru. That’s all for now.”
Kakashi straightened and motioned to the bottle chilling in the ice bucket.
“Would you like some?”
The escort sitting across from them jumped. He obviously had been enjoying the show and had not been expecting to be addressed directly.
“I.. n-no, Endo-san. Thank you.”
“Suit yourself,” Kakashi tipped the glass back and finished what was left. “How much longer?”
“Five minutes,” the escort said. He was large, with a rough face. Obviously capable in the way of ex-military or maybe contact sports. He was most likely hired security, a regular employee of the club, or possibly, Son Yang himself.
The club was set on the strip. It was not flashy, no neon lights or blinking signs, but it was presentable in the same way as luxury hotels. The car pulled up and the escort jumped out. He opened the door for Kakashi and moved away as The Copy Nin did the same for Iruka. The two made their way across the entrance, arm in arm, looking somewhat underdressed in all the surrounding high fashion and chrome. They both wore jeans and black t-shirts, comfortable yet unremarkable shoes. Kakashi’s one nod to the occasion being a simple, black blazer. Iruka’s a tight leather jacket. They moved through the crowd at the doors easily. Despite their lack of pomp and glitz, their escort did his job well and weaved them through and past the doors without fuss.
They turned down a hallway behind the front desk and took a service elevator to the sixth floor. As they stepped out, the atmosphere changed dramatically, and suddenly, Kakashi and Iruka fit right in, despite being entirely overdressed.
There were greeters at a long table waiting for them. An understated but lovely drag queen handed Iruka a small bouquet of white roses and bowed respectfully to Kakashi.
“Welcome, honored guests, Endo-san, Haru-san. My name is Lola. Will you be joining the diners directly, or shall I show you to one of the preparation rooms? If you choose to perform, please use the room for as long as you need.”
“We’ll use the room, thank you.”
Lola nodded. “Our hosts will be thrilled. Here, please take this,” she handed Kakashi a pamphlet. “This is tonight’s schedule. Please feel free to come and go as you please, and when you are ready to preform, just find me or anyone else wearing a name tag. Right this way.”
The room was spacious, fully furnished with a kitchen and dining room. It was more like an apartment or suite than a ready room. Lola bowed and left them with a gentle click of the door.
Kakashi read over the pamphlet as Iruka searched the room. He whistled as he read over the list of names.
“What is it, Endo-san?” Iruka asked.
Kakashi made a motion with his head, directing the sensei’s attention to a speaker installed in the ceiling. The room was audio monitored. It was unlikely there was video, but they would have to be extremely careful how they spoke to each other.
Taking a quick glance where Kakashi had indicated, Iruka gave a quick nod to show he had seen it and understood. They had both been expecting something like that, and had planned on the operation starting even before they entered the car.
“I’ve heard of some of these people,” Kakashi said, his attention returning to the program. “Politicians, big shot lawyers, CEOs of various companies... This banquet is a big deal.”
“Hm…” Iruka hummed as he moved into the kitchen. He lowered his hand to his side and signed in code for Kakashi to read as he spoke.
“You think they have ice, or will we need to get some?” (The ring runs that deep?)
Kakashi sat and responded with hand signals against the arm of the chair. “Check the freezer and I’ll get some if they don’t have any.” (Apparently. Remember, your recon will need to include exactly what it is they’re dealing in.)
Nodding, Iruka checked the freezer. “They have a tray in here.” (Will we need visual conformation?)
(If possible, but I don't think we'll be able to get it on this mission.) “Good. Come over here.” (Any storehouses or warehouses they've set up are probably going to be too far away.)
Iruka moved across the kitchen floor and onto the carpet. He slowly removed his shoes and jacket before climbing up into Kakashi’s lap. He tapped the code onto Kakashi’s shoulder as he leaned in close.
“What is it, Endo-san?” (I’ll see what I can find.)
Kakashi slid his hands over Iruka’s hips and ran his thumbs over that tightly packed section just below the younger man’s waist. He breathed in the scent of clean skin as Iruka put his arms around his neck. (It would be a bonus. But don’t push yourself, locations can be gathered through interrogation.)
“Are you sure about tonight?”
“Yes,” Iruka nodded.
“We’ve never done this before. It’ll be difficult.”
“It’s all right, Endo-san. I’ll do my best for you.”
Leaning in then, Iruka kissed Kakashi’s lips softly, like a lover would, and The Great Copy Nin felt himself slowly melting, his feelings burning, pushing him to the edge of sanity.
“I know you will.”
Iruka kissed him again. It was like he was taunting, daring Kakashi to try and remain under control.
It wasn’t fair. Kakashi’s restraint was so far gone it was in another time zone.
He sat forward and gently pulled at Iruka’s shirt, leaving soft kisses on exposed skin. He felt along the other man’s back, tracing the line of cuts he had inflicted the night before. It was wrong, he knew it was. As he did it, Kakashi hated himself. This was not part of the mission, nor was it comfort for Iruka, he was taking advantage of the situation. This was not for anything but Kakashi’s own selfish desires, and it solidified just how much of a monster he truly was.
“Endo-san…” Iruka’s deep voice was husky. “Endo-san, we don’t have time.” (We really don’t.)
“We have time.” Kakashi pulled Iruka’s shirt over his head, and thankfully, the sensei did not resist. In fact, Iruka pressed in closer, continuing to kiss him, running his hands up The Copy Nin’s jaw and further up into his hair.
(Are they expecting this?) Iruka tapped on the back of his neck.
(I don’t know.) Kakashi started to respond in code but he found he couldn’t remember how. So he spoke, breathing the words against Iruka’s lips. “You’re just very sexy right now and I can’t stop.”
Iruka pulled away and took Kakashi’s face in his hands. “Endo-san?” Their eyes met and Kakashi was sure his were pleading. It was all he could do to not start begging. Iruka studied him for a few seconds that went on so long in Kakashi’s head that he felt he would die.
This was insane, he was using the fact that they were being monitored as leverage. They both knew it would be suspicious if Iruka refused now, and Kakashi was banking on that. The sensei would have to play along or it might jeopardize the mission. God, the mission! He was using the mission to bait Iruka-sensei into sex! This was it. Kakashi had finally crossed over into territory he could never come back from. He was worse than depraved, he was beyond sickening.
He was vile.
Sure enough, because he had no choice, Iruka responded. The sensei held his gaze and slowly lowered his hands to the bottom of Kakashi’s shirt. He pushed it up slowly, sliding it over the Copy Nin’s chest, and then pulled it off when Kakashi lifted his arms.
When his hands returned to Kakashi’s jeans, Iruka slid his fingers underneath and tugged once, roughly. Kakashi groaned and lifted his hips, adjusting himself on the chair. He moved to undo the button, but Iruka’s voice was at his mouth.
“Stop,” he said firmly. Kakashi froze. The command in the sensei’s voice was unmistakable, even if it was sweet, like a request.
“Hands off, please,” Iruka said softly, and Kakashi put his hands up. He wasn’t sure where to put them, so he just rested them on the arms of the chair.
His heart was beating so fast, and his lungs were so tight. He had never experienced a switch before, not one that worked anyway. He had considered it a few times, but no sub he had ever known was capable of it. Of course, the obvious answer was that Iruka was not a true sub, he wasn’t even really into BDSM. Being dominant in sex was probably nothing new to the sensei at all.
But how had they come to this now? How was this happening? Kakashi was aware he was very close to emotional exhaustion. Maybe this was his body and his mind finally just giving up and giving in. It was also possible that he just felt he could submit to Iruka because the feelings he had for the sensei were so strong. Either way, he didn’t know, and frankly at the moment, he didn’t give a damn.
It was only fair, he supposed. Even if Iruka was going to take the lead, this was skirting the edge of non-consensual in the worst way. Kakashi knew he was going to pay for it later, not from Iruka, no he was too kind for that. No, Kakashi would have to answer to the cruelest judge of them all: himself.
The sensei’s hands were on him and pulling him out of his jeans, stroking him hard and rough. Kakashi made some kind of pitiful noise and looked down, watching helplessly as Iruka jerked every last bit of his resistance away.
And then he was moving, up and off of Kakashi’s lap. The Copy Nin started to protest, but then realized, Iruka only stood so he could slide his jeans down over his hips. They puddled on the floor at his feet and he stepped out of them and back into Kakashi’s lap.
Shaking, Kakashi started to reach for him, but Iruka stopped him at the wrist.
“I said hands off, please.”
There was nothing Kakashi could do but obey, so he put his hands back on the armrests. Iruka came over him and spit unceremoniously into his hand and wet Kakashi’s length.
“That’s… going to be rough…” Kakashi whispered.
Iruka looked into Kakashi’s face and smirked. “I know.” Then he lowered himself, pressing Kakashi into him slowly. Kakashi writhed as the sensei came down, and then back up, and then down again. It was torture, going just a little bit at a time like that, and a little painful, but pain and sex was something Kakashi did well, and apparently, so did Iruka. The Copy Nin gripped the armrests with little regard to whether or not he tore the fabric. Iruka was hot and soft and the best thing Kakashi had ever felt. It was better than last night, so much better. It was perfect.
He felt Iruka’s hand on his jaw and he looked up. The sensei’s lips ghosted over his and he whispered in that low, smooth voice that drove Kakashi wild.
“How do you want it?”
Kakashi made another pitiful noise. “Any… uh… however you want it.”
“Hm,” Iruka hummed and kissed Kakashi’s lips, “All right.”
Iruka rode him fast and hard until sweat beaded their bodies and Kakashi’s voice was hoarse. He used The Copy Nin’s shoulders to support himself and pounded Kakashi’s body into the cushions with the power from his hips. Kakashi couldn’t think, he couldn’t even react. All he could do was be swept away by Iruka’s fierceness, his amazing sexuality, his intoxicating body. He could feel himself getting closer, climbing his way towards orgasm with every slap of flesh and quiet “ah!” from Iruka’s lips. He didn’t realize he was talking, murmuring praises under his breath until the sensei clamped a hand over his mouth. It was a good thing, lest he start calling Iruka by his name or crying out “sensei”. Who knows, maybe he already had?
“You’re tightening up,” Iruka whispered, “are you gonna come?”
Kakashi clenched his teeth. He was, but he wanted it to last. He didn’t want it to be over yet.
“Yes,” he breathed, and his head fell back against the chair. Iruka took the opportunity and licked up his neck. “Aahh it feels good…” Kakashi moaned, “let me touch you.”
“Fine,” Iruka panted, “hold my hips. Pull me down on you.”
Kakashi seized the sensei’s powerful hips and did as he was told. He used the leverage to thrust up as well, which resulted in him going even harder and deeper into Iruka’s body.
“Ah!” Iruka gasped, “Ah! Yes!”
Everything started to coil like a spring, pleasure and pain and every last bit of sensation that was left, all wound together, tightening every muscle, and then released. Kakashi came hard, tensing, growling into a sweaty neck. He pulsed inside Iruka’s body, over and over, the pleasure filled his senses, blacked out his vision. For a handful of seconds he forgot who and where he was.
When he opened his eyes, he found Iruka resting above him, panting, his hair damp and sticking to his neck. His skin was flushed. Once again, Kakashi was struck. Iruka was the most beautiful thing Kakashi had ever seen.
There was nothing else to do but kiss the sensei, so Kakashi sat forward and took the younger man in his arms. Their lips met clumsily, tiredly, but it was sweet. Iruka’s arms went around his neck and for one brief moment, Kakashi forgot the circumstances of their coupling. He forgot how this had been a terrible, stupid idea, and that he was now the most revolting of men ever to have walked the planet.
Then Iruka was tensing, pushing himself away, and everything came crashing back to reality. Kakashi had manipulated the sensei into doing this. Kakashi had forced him. He had forced Iruka.
The sensei’s gaze stayed lowered as he ran fingers through his damp hair, most likely to busy himself with something other than looking at Kakashi. It seemed he was done indulging The Copy Nin’s repulsive needs, and was trying to find a way to escape without being suspicious.
“You all right?” Kakashi asked lamely, if only to get Iruka to look at him.
“Endo-san, I need to clean up.” Iruka’s reply was curt, almost cold. He said nothing else as he pulled himself off of Kakashi’s wilting sex and moved straight into the bathroom.
As the door started to click shut, Kakashi was jolted out of his stupor and he stood up. “Haru,” he said, and goddamnit if “Iruka” hadn’t almost escaped from between his lips. “Haru, stop, I’ll do it.”
There was a knock at the door.
Kakashi froze. Really? Right now?
“One second.”
He took a deep breath and focused on slowing his heart rate. This was absolutely the worst time, but what was he supposed to do? They were still on a mission.
There was nothing he could do about his sweaty, disheveled appearance, but he did tuck himself back into his jeans and tried to fix his hair into a more fashionable disarray.
Not surprisingly, it was Son Yang, and his meat slab of a bodyguard waiting when Kakashi opened the door. The Copy Nin folded his arms across his chest and made little effort to try and cover up the fact that their disruption was an annoyance.
“Evening, gentlemen.”
Son Yang bowed his head respectfully, “Good evening, Endo-san. I wanted to stop by and personally thank you for attending tonight and deciding to perform for us. Many of my associates know of you and your partner’s talents, but have never before had the pleasure of seeing them in person.” Yang’s eyes had strayed to Kakashi’s stomach, to the mess of Iruka’s cum glistening over hard lines of muscle.
Kakashi smirked and lifted one arm to lean against the doorframe. He posed, giving the two men a moment to look at the mess, think about what it meant. Then he ran a thumb through it and brought it to his lips, slowly sucking the saltiness from his skin. It was a possessive, gaudy thing to do, but at the moment, Kakashi did not care.
“Cool,” he said softly. “Is that all? We’re in the middle of… preparing, if you don’t mind.”
Son Yang smiled then and motioned to his guard. “No, we don’t mind at all. Again, thank you, Endo-san. And thank Haru-san as well. When you come out, there are three platforms set up for performers. You will have your pick, so please choose platform number two. It’s closest to my table.”
Kakashi straightened and gave Yang a quick bow before he shut the door.
Turning, Kakashi was surprised to find that Iruka had left the bathroom and was once again dressed, and watching him from the bar. The Copy Nin immediately wanted to apologize, beg forgiveness for acting so unprofessionally-so despicably-but something in the sensei’s manner stopped him.
It was strange but, Iruka seemed… okay?
“That was quite a little show you put on, Endo-san,” Iruka said softly. What was that, was he smirking?
Frantically trying to regain his composure, Kakashi shrugged and covered up his uncertainty with the usual: bull shit. “He should know better, my love. Yang thinks because he has a lot of money and owns a lot of stuff he can do what he wants.
I respectfully showed him that I am a professional Dom, and I don’t give a shit.”
That smirk turned into a full on smile and Kakashi’s knees almost buckled. What was happening? Didn’t Iruka understand what had just been done to him?
“Possessive Endo-san is my favorite Endo-san,” the sensei purred. What the hell was happening? Had the last fifteen minutes been a delusion?
“How are you, Haru?” Kakashi asked carefully. “I apologize that it was so rough right before a performance.”
Iruka shook his head and came closer. He even placed a hand on Kakashi’s chest. Maybe it really had been a dream? Some kind of genjutsu?
“I had to spend a few extra minutes cleaning up, but it’s a small price to pay. Besides, Endo-san, the way I remember it, the roughness wasn’t your idea.” With that, the sensei leaned in and kissed Kakashi softly on the mouth.
Kakashi was done. He couldn’t keep up anymore.
“Are you ready, Endo-san?”
Blinking, Kakashi tried to form words without drooling in himself. So much for an elite ninja.
“I need…” he licked his lips. Tried again. “I just need a quick rinse, then we’ll go.”
Iruka nodded and stepped aside so Kakashi could retreat into the bathroom.
The door closed behind him. The room spun a little, catching the Copy Nin off guard.
Maybe none of this was real? Maybe they had finished the mission already but Kakashi had lost it and now he was somewhere in a mental institution gnawing on spoons and shitting his pants?
Turning on the cold faucet, Kakashi leaned over the sink and splashed some of the cool water on his face. He didn’t look in the mirror, he knew what he would see and he couldn’t bear it. At that moment, Kakashi found himself feeling very inferior. Whatever Iruka had done to separate himself from what was happening was incredible, and Kakashi wished he was strong enough to do it too.
* * *
Kakashi watched from behind the doorway as Iruka made his way out into the dining hall. He weaved his way between tables, nodding to diners here and there, distracting more than a few people, and derailing conversations almost everywhere he walked. The performers were expected to appear from behind the curtain at the far end of the hall, the area was situated behind the three performance platforms, an ideal way to make an entrance, but Iruka had suggested that their approach be more low key; a surprise. The people were expecting them to come from backstage, not from the same place the waters and kitchen staff were entering.
When the sensei came upon Son Yang’s table, he slowed, and waved his fingers at the meat slab bodyguard. The big man stared at Iruka with wide eyes. He was probably not accustomed to being addressed directly, or flirted with for that matter, while on duty in public. Son Yang found the performance entertaining and chuckled into his napkin.
Baron Young was also seated at the table and he flinched when Iruka put a hand on his shoulder. The sensei used the Baron’s momentary agitation and slid his hand around the thick man’s throat. He teased, like it was a game, like he was pretending to strangle the Baron right there at the table, but then at the last moment, he released those thick jowls and placed a kiss on the Baron’s head.
Son Yang laughed again, but the Baron did not seem the least bit amused.
Kakashi smiled behind his palm. Served him right. Bastard.
Iruka blew a kiss to Son, and winked at the meat slab before he turned and moved to another table. Kakashi watched Iruka’s hips, his thighs, his bare stomach as he danced his way through the room. He flirted, he smiled, he touched and played carefully, making sure to give Doms and Masters the opportunity to nod consent, or decline.
Not that anyone declined.
After a fifteen, maybe twenty minutes, there was movement behind the curtain. A tall man with short-cropped black hair made his way from backstage and out between the performance platforms. He was lean and muscular, with tattoos covering his arms and most of his back. His face was rough but handsome, and his dark eyes watched Iruka intensely. He had thick leather cuffs on both of his wrists, and a chain connecting the piercings in his nipples.
This man was obviously the sub in one of the other performing duos. Kakashi had told Iruka this was a likely scenario. Another Dom might see “Haru’s” presentation and ask their sub if they wanted to play. It was a fun way to test boundaries and an easy way for the Doms to enjoy their subs from the sidelines. This sub had apparently been given permission to touch, and would proceed if “Haru” gave him consent.
Iruka saw the man coming and beckoned him over with a wag of a finger. The sub moved in carefully, and stood a safe distance from where the sensei stood. He was several inches taller, wider, but his presence was not as intense, or as intimidating as Iruka’s was. Kakashi was very pleased with that. Iruka made for an amazing sub when he needed to be, but there was something about the way the sensei did not really submit to anyone else but Kakashi. Just the thought of it got The Copy Nin’s blood pumping a little faster.
“Haru” reached out a hand and slipped a finger underneath the chain connecting the sub’s nipple rings. He tugged gently, once, getting the large man to move with him towards the platforms. Kakashi swallowed with difficulty as he watched Iruka’s skill, the way he controlled the other man with simple motions of his hands and sly twists of his hips. He was so pleased, and so proud, even though in the back of his mind, Kakashi knew he had nothing to do with it, really.
The sub was on his knees now, “Haru” stood with his back to him, their silhouettes to the crowd. There was no longer a dull murmuring of conversation. Almost every eye in the room was on the two subs and every heart was waiting to see what would happen.
“Haru” looked at the man over his shoulder, and tapped gently on his ass with a single finger. The sub shuddered and leaned in, kissing one cheek through the thin denim. “Haru” smiled and tapped the other cheek. The sub made a low sound and kissed that one as well.
Kakashi was hot. It was so hot, wasn’t there any air in the building?
“He is exquisite,” came a soft voice beside him.
Kakashi said nothing and continued to lean against the doorframe. Feigning disinterest was what he did best. Of course, he didn’t have his mask on. Shit.
“How long have you been together?” the soft voice continued. “How long was his training?”
Kakashi shrugged. “In my opinion, training never ends. His nor mine.”
“Hm, that’s a good way to look at things.”
Kakashi turned and found a small, blond man standing next to him. He was beautiful, light skin, bright blue eyes, and wearing a simple outfit of white trousers and a sleeveless, white tank. Tattoos covered his shoulders and neck, the patterns similar to his sub.
“Yours is quite the site as well,” Kakashi murmured. “His discipline is lovely.”
“Hm,” the man hummed again, “Kuro is a good boy. He’s been a mess today though, he’s wanted to meet Haru for a long time.”
Kakashi turned back to the stage where Haru was standing, hands on his hips, directing Kuro to kiss his feet.
“You know me and my partner, but I don’t have the pleasure of knowing your name.”
“I am called Fai, my lover is Kuro. We are not strictly performers. We mostly teach and train, and we are very exclusive.”
“What made you decide to perform tonight?” Kakashi asked.
Fai shrugged. “Many of the people dining here tonight are former students of ours, or regulars at our lectures.”
Kakashi nodded. That was interesting, maybe this couple would be a good source of intel. Fai seemed genuine, and very in control. He was polite, complimentary and respectful. Competent. Definitely someone Kakashi would have liked to have in his circle if he was still into the lifestyle.
Fai moved closer then, not enough to touch, but enough for Kakashi to feel the warmth of his body. “If you are interested, maybe we could exchange information and meet at a later date. I think Kuro would enjoy some time with Haru without the added stress of performance.” He moved still closer, his lips a mere a hair’s breadth from Kakashi’s ear. “I’m sure he would enjoy yours as well. The four of us could, no doubt, learn many things from each other.”
Kakashi turned and looked down at the smaller man. He was challenging, but still respectful. Dominant without being overbearing. And very attractive. The offer, in addition to the chemistry between Iruka and Kuro, tickled something inside Kakashi that he hadn’t felt in a long time.
“I will speak to Haru,” Kakashi said softly. “I’m sure he will agree.”
Fai smiled. “I’ll find you afterwards then.” The man moved away and slipped back into the kitchen. “It was wonderful meeting you, Endo-san.”
Kakashi turned back to the dining hall, and watched as Iruka pushed Kuro onto his back on one of the tables. The diners had moved the plates and the decorations to the side, making enough room for the two men to perform directly in front of them.
Haru placed a knee on the table at Kuro’s hip. He climbed up and over the larger sub’s body, and settled down on a muscled chest. With simple, silent direction, Haru instructed Kuro to lay his arms flat, palms up. He then took two wine glasses, partially full, and placed them on the tips of Kuro’s fingers, one in each hand.
Smile widening, Kakashi moved slowly into the dining hall, trying to get a closer look. This had not been part of the plan, but as he had assured Iruka earlier, the sensei’s instincts were getting him through.
Haru made a “shush” motion with his index finger against his lips, and then took another two wine glasses and stacked them on the first two. Kuro moaned, because of Haru’s excellent domination, or from the strain of balancing the four glasses, Kakashi was uncertain. It didn’t matter however, the scene was intense and beautiful already.
Moving carefully, Haru backed up and turned to one of the diners. The man immediately gave up his unused wine glass when Haru indicated that he wanted it, and the scarred, beautiful sub held it out as the man filled it from the bottle on the table. Thanking him with a nod of his head, Haru then tipped it gently, pouring a few drops of wine onto Kuro’s stomach.
Kuro flinched, but did not move, not even as Haru leaned down and lapped up the wine slowly with his tongue and bottom lip. The diners around the table whistled and clapped softly as the glasses stayed where they were.
Kakashi was hard, craving the attention Iruka was giving Kuro, but of course now was not the time. He would make himself be seen, but he would stay as an observer. He didn’t want to break Iruka’s flow. The Copy Nin moved around the tables, following the wall towards the makeshift stage. He kept his eyes on Iruka’s back as he walked past Son Yang’s table, not giving him nor the Baron a second glance. They were not worth his time. When he neared the second platform, he set the bag he had been carrying on the floor, and then turned and sat. He leaned back, hands on the cushion, and enjoyed the looks he received from the diners that had noticed him.
Haru was still playing with Kuro, and the tattooed sub still had all four glasses balanced perfectly. There were laughs and quiet cheers from the surrounding tables as Haru fed Kuro bits of fruit from his own mouth, or ran cold strawberries over pierced nipples. The desperation in Kuro’s muscles and the look in his eyes was obvious, but it was also obvious that the man was infatuated. Kakashi couldn’t blame the poor man, he was too.
Finally, Haru took the glasses and placed them back on the table where he found them. Kuro sat up, sliding his hands over Haru’s hips, and gently kissed the smaller man on his jaw. Kakashi felt a rush of jealousy at that, the touch was much too intimate for his tastes, but he stayed where he was, focused on keeping every emotion he was feeling off his face.
He was able to calm his storm when Haru climbed off of Kuro’s lap and kissed both of the larger man’s hands. Haru said his goodbyes and turned to the platforms, and to where Kakashi was sitting.
Kakashi watched the smile spread across that beautiful face, and wished with all his heart that the one smiling at him at that moment was Iruka. What he wouldn’t give to quit this terrible mission and just go home, take the sensei with him, and make love to him the way he deserved to be made love to. Normally, in a normal bed, spoiled and worshiped, waited on hand and foot. Loved and adored by Kakashi every minute of every day.
But it was not Iruka, it was Haru that made his way towards him. It was Haru that licked the stray drops of wine from his wrist and watched him for a reaction. It was Haru that met him at the platform and dropped to his knees when Kakashi motioned for him to do so.
“My beautiful Haru,” Kakashi said, loud enough for the surrounding tables to hear, “I see you’ve been enjoying yourself.”
Haru smiled with mock embarrassment, “Not as much fun as Kuro-chan, I think.” A smattering of laughter from the onlookers accompanied Haru’s words.
Kakashi turned to see Fai leading Kuro to the platform next to them. The couple was already intense, already in the beginnings of a scene. Fai had several straps and what looked like a whip thrown over his shoulder. Kuro was already whimpering, already delirious with happiness as his master laid him down on the cushions. He was murmuring something in a quiet voice, tears making their way down his cheeks from the corners of his eyes.
“Haru,” Kakashi said softly, “Let’s take a moment and watch this performance. I’m sure it will be lovely.”
“Yes, Endo-san.”
Kakashi moved back enough to give Haru plenty of room to climb up beside him. The Copy Nin stayed in the same position he had been in the entire time, relaxed, resting on his elbows. Haru posed beside him, hands caressing his shoulders, his cock within reach if Kakashi wanted to touch it.
“You did well,” Kakashi said, addressing both Haru and Iruka.
Iruka was the one that answered him. He lowered his head to nuzzle into the hair just above Kakashi’s ear. His hands smoothed down the Copy Nin’s back and chest at the same time.
“Endo-san,” Iruka said, his voice sure.
“You will never believe what I found out.”
TBC
All previous chapters here.
:]
Well, here is chapter six. I didn't mean for it to be so long, but I needed to get things set up for the next bit. I'm sorry for all the introspection--not really.
Enjoy Kakashi torturing himself. ;)
Title: What Doesn't Kill You
Paring: Kakashi/Iruka
Rating: Big fat NC-17
Warnings: Angst, manpain, language, BDSM, slight non-con warning.
Summary: Kakashi and Iruka are sent on a dangerous and enlightening mission. Unfortunately, this mission could have serious emotional as well as physical ramifications.
<< part 5
Part Six: Monster
When Kakashi woke, he found his face buried in soft, brown hair. At first he couldn't make sense of the situation, but it only took him a handful of seconds to figure it out. Iruka's smell was everywhere, all around him, invading his senses and forcing Kakashi to remember the events of last night. Or, judging by the faint light from the window, a mere few hours ago.
He could not escape without untangling himself, and he had absolutely no intention of doing that, so he moved in closer. Iruka's back was pressed up against his chest. The sensei's breathing was even, calm, but it was obvious he was also very much awake. Carefully, Kakashi slid a hand over a muscled hip and nuzzled forward into the junction between neck and shoulder. The skin there was warm and soft, and Kakashi did not even try to resist the urge to kiss it.
He heard Iruka sigh and froze. He waited. When the sensei did not try to move or leave his hold, Kakashi carefully pressed his lips to that skin a second time. A third. No resistance. The Copy Nin took that as consent and thrilled at the thought of being able to touch the other man like this. Unhurried, gentle, and all alone with no one to perform for. If Iruka was letting him do this, then... what did that mean?
Fingers ghosted over the back of his hand, and Kakashi actually shivered. Iruka laced their hands together and guided their touch slowly down his stomach. His cock was firm underneath Kakashi's palm, warm. Heart racing, Kakashi rose up to rest on his elbow to stroke Iruka's length at a better angle. It was also easier to kiss down a smooth shoulder, a firm bicep. He couldn't believe the sensei was okay with this, that he wanted Kakashi again after all that had happened. This was no longer comfort, this was lust, need, this was... what was this exactly?
He left soft, open-mouthed kisses anywhere he could reach. Kakashi's tongue felt like ice as it dragged slowly over flesh so hot it was like fire. Iruka moaned as Kakashi pumped him slowly and ran his lips down hard-packed muscle, across tight hips. He gently pushed the sensei to his back and felt hands in his hair as he moved his mouth across Iruka’s amazing stomach.
He looked at the swollen cock in his hand. It was so perfect, so smooth, he wanted so much to put his lips around it. To run his tongue up the side. To hear Iruka’s moans of pleasure as he drank him down.
But he could not move.
Iruka’s hands were in his hair, but he was not pulling, at least Kakashi didn’t think so. Why couldn’t he move? What was happening?
His muscles were not responding. He couldn’t even move his eyes. Was it a jutsu? Shit, had they been discovered? Kakashi’s heart sped up, his breathing became harsh as he fought against whatever was holding him frozen. Panic started to well up in his gut, in his heart. If he couldn’t move, he couldn’t protect Iruka! This didn’t make any sense! How could he not move and have no idea what was happening?!
There was a kunai at his neck. The cold steel of the blade was pressing into his skin. Hard enough to draw blood? He couldn’t tell.
“Bastard…”
Everything inside Kakashi seemed to break all at once. His heart, his soul, his very essence was crushed at the sound of that voice. Kakashi realized at that moment what was happening. And it destroyed him.
It was Iruka. Iruka had the kunai to his throat.
“What do you think you’re doing?” The sensei’s voice trembled with anger. “You think I’m just some sex slave you can use whenever you feel like it?”
No. No, Iruka, I don’t think that at all! Kakashi tried to say, but his voice was gone.
He felt a hand on his shoulder and found himself pushed to his back on the bed. Iruka came over him, still holding the kunai. The sensei was crying, his face wet with tears and red with fury. The sight broke Kakashi’s heart and soul all over again.
“You monster,” Iruka growled, “How could you do this? How could you think any of this was okay?”
I’m sorry, Iruka! I’m sorry! I love you! I never wanted to hurt you!
“You fail everyone! You fail yourself! You don’t even deserve to be a shinobi!”
Kakashi wanted to die. Iruka’s voice was in his head, tearing him apart piece by piece.
“Leave! Disappear! I never want to see you again! See if you can live with yourself knowing that you’re disgusting! And a liar! I HATE you! I HATE-”
Kakashi jerked awake.
He blinked his eyes, trying to focus on the textured ceiling, and took a few deep, shaking breaths. Sunlight poured in from the window, and he could smell coffee. It was a dream? Wait, of course it was a dream. What the hell? So stupid!
“Kakashi-san?”
Kakashi’s head whipped to the side. He was shocked to find Iruka, dressed, and sitting beside him on the bed. The sensei’s hair was brushed smooth but still damp from the shower. He looked relaxed, rested. Infinitely better than he had the night before.
“Kakashi-san, are you all right? You were… it sounded like you were in pain.”
The Copy Nin wiped at his face in a futile attempt to hide his embarrassment and then sat up. The sheets were bunched around his hips. He almost reached for them to try and cover himself up but stopped at the last moment. What would be the point? No sense making this even more awkward.
“Just a bad dream,” he said softly, “It’s not a big deal.”
“What about?” Iruka asked.
Kakashi shrugged. “Oh, you know, one of those that isn’t really scary, but you’re terrified anyway. Like you can’t figure out how to turn off the water in the shower or something.”
To his surprise, Iruka chuckled.
“I have dreams where I can’t flip pancakes.”
Kakashi pushed past his embarrassment and looked up. Iruka was smiling softly, looking right into Kakashi’s eyes. Somehow, just that simple act made the horror of his nightmare Iruka fade. The fear and the shame he had felt as he was held down and threatened with everything he hated about himself still lingered, but it had returned to something manageable.
“Do you end up flipping them over onto themselves? I do that all the time.”
Iruka chuckled again, the sound seemed to be a bandage for Kakashi’s troubling thoughts.
“No, I can’t flip them period, and then they burn. It’s really sad.”
Kakashi had to laugh at that. The thought seemed ridiculous, but in the world of dreams, he could see how it would be terrifying.
“It’s just stress, Kakashi-san,” Iruka said, “It’ll be okay.”
The sensei raised his hand and Kakashi almost flinched. He immediately regretted it however, when Iruka merely brushed Kakashi’s hair from his eyes, and then cupped his jaw in his palm. They stayed that way for a few moments. Iruka’s eyes were clear and focused, even if they were a little sad.
For the second time, Kakashi found himself submitting to Iruka’s comfort, and for the second time, he felt strange accepting it. Before this, it had always been him giving the comfort. He was the one who always brought his submissive back from the edge, or from that place beyond; that dark place Kakashi had no desire to go. It was not bad, it didn’t feel wrong, just… strange.
Kakashi swallowed thickly. “You don’t have to worry about me. Are you all right, sensei?”
Iruka nodded, “Yes.” He released Kakashi’s jaw and lowered his hands to his lap. He was still calm, still collected, but the air in the room had changed. There was tension that had not been there before.
“I am… extremely embarrassed about last night,” Iruka murmured.
“You don’t have to be,” Kakashi said.
“I know that but I can’t just make it stop.”
Shifting, Kakashi found a more comfortable position and leaned in. He was trying to get himself further into the sensei’s line of sight. It seemed to work as Iruka glanced at him out he corner of his eye.
“Do you need to talk about it, sensei? It might help.”
Iruka shook his head. “I do but we have a mission, Kakashi-san. I plan on walking out that door and leaving it in here. I’ll pretend that it didn’t happen so we can focus on what’s important. My embarrassment and my feelings aren’t a priority.”
Kakashi’s heart started to beat a little faster.
“They are to me.”
Iruka turned and looked at him then. His eyes were a mixture of so many things that Kakashi could not distinguish a single emotion. Fear? Sadness? Loneliness? No, that last one might be Kakashi’s own wishful thinking.
“I don’t want to be more of a burden than I already am, Kakashi-san.”
It was so hard to keep himself from reaching out and taking Iruka’s hand. So fucking hard.
“You’re not a burden, you could never be a burden, sensei. Besides, how comfortable you are and how comfortable you are with me is extremely important. It is part of the mission.” But really, fuck the mission. I just want you to be happy. “Please, Iruka-sensei, I don’t mind. If you want to ask your questions, ask.”
A long silence passed between the two of them. Iruka studied Kakashi’s eyes with that completely unguarded yet unreadable face until the Copy Nin’s stomach started to roll with anticipation.
Finally, Iruka took a breath.
“Why did you abandon this lifestyle, Kakashi-san?”
Kakashi swallowed thickly, that was not what he had expected to be asked. Then again, Iruka seemed to always do exactly what Kakashi did not expect.
“I kept hurting people,” Kakashi said. “I would take scenes too far, or I would need an outlet for frustration, but the people I would scene with…” he took a breath. “When your sub isn’t your partner and doesn’t know anything about you, they can’t read you. They can’t tell when you’re over the limit or past what you can take mentally.” Kakashi’s chest started to tighten at terrible memories of the shameful things he had done. He couldn’t understand why he was telling Iruka all of this, he could have just made something up, spare himself the humiliation.
“I’m not… good at holding myself back. I can be, but not after a mission or after… losing someone. I would be cruel to subs and they would just let me. It was awful. I would leave disgusted with myself and in worse shape than when I came in.”
He didn’t look up. He didn’t want to see Iruka’s face. If he was also disgusted with what Kakashi had done, or what he used to be, Kakashi knew he would not survive it. On the other hand, if he was understanding or forgiving, Kakashi knew he might not be able to stop himself from doing something very stupid.
“Were…” Iruka’s voice was so soft. “I mean… did anything we did together disgust you?”
Kakashi’s head snapped up. He met Iruka’s sad eyes and felt something inside himself break. Not for the first time.
“No!” he could not stress the word enough. “No, god, no. Never. Never. I know you, and I trust you. We’re on a mission-working-together. You learn so fast and you’re so…” damnit, I love you so much… “You could never disgust me, Iruka-sensei.”
Iruka seemed to relax. The tension in his shoulders left and he may have even leaned in a little closer to where Kakashi sat rigid.
“I’m...” he said softly, “That’s good.”
`
There was more Kakashi wanted to say, and many things he wanted to ask Iruka, but he pushed it all back and tried to calm his racing heart.
“What else?”
Again, to his surprise, Iruka smiled. It was barely a turn of lips, but it was there.
“Seems silly now.”
Kakashi shook his head. “No, it’s not. I promise.”
Iruka took another slow breath before he spoke. “Last night, was that how you would usually comfort a submissive? Like, another part of a scene? Or was it more like… how you are now?”
Not sure how to answer, Kakashi sat chewing his lip. He must have sat for too long however, because the skin around Iruka’s scar started to turn pink.
“I’m sorry,” Iruka murmured, “I don’t know if asking that is rude or not.”
This time when Kakashi tried to swallow, he couldn’t. His throat was too dry.
“It’s not rude, sensei. And to be completely honest, I don’t know how I am now. I haven’t had any opportunity. And last night? Yes, it was like part of a scene, but not completely because it was you, and I know you. I just wanted to make you feel better. You were hurting and I just wanted to make it stop. That’s it.”
Sorry, Iruka. That’s not it, but hopefully you’ll accept that…
Something flickered in Iruka’s eyes then, but Kakashi was emotionally exhausted, and so past the point of being able to discern what the other man was thinking, it was almost funny. When the sensei’s hand came up and his palm returned to the Copy Nin’s jaw, Kakashi did not flinch. In fact, he leaned in, nuzzling into the other man’s warm touch.
“Thank you, Kakashi-san,” he said, “thank you for telling me. I’ll try and control myself a little better next time. I won’t lose myself like that again.”
The words were on Kakashi’s lips before he could stop them. “It’s all right, sensei. If you do, I’ll be here to bring you back.”
Iruka’s eyes widened and the blush across his scar spread. Within seconds the sensei’s entire face was bright red, and he was stammering behind his fingers.
“Th-thank you, Kakashi-san. I… I’m um…” He was adorable. How could a grown man be so fucking adorable?
Recovering quickly, Iruka took a breath and stood, leaving the space beside Kakashi very cold and empty. “Well, now that I’m twice as embarrassed as I was a minute ago, I’m going to go out into the other room. Once I cross the threshold, it didn’t happen.”
Kakashi nodded. “Okay.”
“No teasing.”
Chuckling, Kakashi played with the sheets. “I wouldn’t do that.”
“Yes, you would.”
The Copy Nin watched Iruka’s back as he crossed the room and reached for the doorknob.
“Hey, sensei.”
“Hm?” the younger man turned around.
The Copy Nin held up his hands and made grabbing motions in the air. “You have the most amazing ass I’ve ever seen.”
“W-what?” he was sputtering. “You said you wouldn’t tease!”
“You haven’t crossed the threshold yet!”
Iruka made an exasperated noise as he opened the door, but he didn’t slip out fast enough to hide his smile.
After the door shut, Kakashi watched the space where Iruka had been standing for a long time. He felt better. He shouldn’t have, he didn’t deserve it, but there it was. Things were still going to be awkward between them, strange, but even if Iruka was embarrassed and even if he didn’t like what they were doing, at least Kakashi knew he was going to be okay. He was focused again, ready to finish the mission. All they had to do was get through this last day, and then they would be done and then they could go home and have all of these memories erased. They would go back to the way they were, like none of this had ever happened.
Sighing, the Copy Nin threw off the sheet and stood. A shower would do wonders.
* * *
“There’s coffee and pastries on the cart,” Iruka said, “The lemon one is okay, but I think the cherry is too sweet.”
Kakashi looked over the assortment of breakfast treats, wondering if it was worth the headache he would have later from the sugar crash.
“Where did these come from?” he asked.
Iruka waved at the cart as he read the paper. “Son Yang. He left a note with information about the club we’re going to tonight in case we wanted to perform.”
“We should.” Kakashi poured himself a cup of coffee and selected a plain roll. “A performance would give us opportunity for recon and easy access to the entire area.”
Iruka nodded. “I thought the same thing.”
Kakashi chewed and moved to the table. It felt strange eating and talking to Iruka like this, but strangely, it also felt right. Comfortable. Iruka really had put last night in the other room and kept it there. He was calm and collected, focused again, like any good shinobi should be. The air in the room was easy, light, like nothing out of the ordinary was happening, or was going to happen. It was incredible how the young man could partition his mind and body like that. Kakashi knew seasoned elite that couldn’t do that. The Copy Nin knew he was going to have to do the same. It was going to be difficult, but he could do it. He could be strong for Iruka’s sake.
Pushing his anxiety and stress and all those other distracting feelings to the side, Kakashi placed his coffee, roll, and the club information sheet on the table adjacent to where the sensei sat, and lowered himself to the cushion.
“We won’t have to do anything too rough tonight.”
Iruka looked at him then, “Really?”
Kakashi nodded. “It’s unlikely in this setting that they’ll want something heavy. I’m fairly certain we won’t even be the only couple performing. It’s possible we might not even have a set performance time and they will expect us to just roam.”
“Oh, I was going to ask you,” Iruka said, “I don’t know the protocol for interaction within community.”
“It sometimes depends on the venue,” Kakashi said as he took a sip of coffee, “but there are a few general rules that go without saying. No touching unless you have permission. Subs can get away with touching other subs most of the time, unless their Master or Dominant has forbidden it, but Masters and Dominants can’t. You must get permission to touch someone else’s sub or slave, also to touch their toys or equipment.”
“Haru was allowed to touch others, after getting permission, I’m assuming.”
Kakashi nodded again. “Correct. Haru would do recon while Endo would chat up the figureheads. Book more shows, acquire private scenes with specific targets, that kind of thing.”
“I noticed the club has no set dress code, so I won’t be required to wear any type of restraints. I can move around freely.”
“I think they’ll be expecting you to,” Kakashi finished the last of his pastry and licked the sweetness off the tips of his fingers. “Haru is quite well-known for his dances.”
“Yeah,” Iruka murmured, “I read that.”
Kakashi smiled, “What, sensei, you questioning your moves?”
“No, my ‘moves’ are fine,” Kakashi was pleased to see the mischievous flash of teeth as the sensei spoke, “It’s just not something I like to do in front of old perverts.”
“I’m an old pervert.”
Another smile, “Old perverts I don’t know.”
“Just pretend I’m the only one there then. And you never know, maybe some of them are younger perverts. The age limit is only twenty.”
“Oh my god,” Iruka laughed behind his fingers, “shut up.”
Kakashi loved that laugh. He wished he could hear it more often.
“But seriously, sensei, I’m sure you’ll do fine, your instincts will get you through. All we have to do now is construct a scene.”
“Speaking of which,” Iruka said, “I think I have an idea.”
* * *
The car picked them up at the back entrance just as the sun started to set. Kakashi sat with Iruka stretched out on the seat beside him, head in the Copy Nin’s lap. There was Champaign and fruit provided at the small mobile bar, and Kakashi had quickly busied himself with feeding Iruka a handful of small, red grapes.
“They’re so sweet, Endo-san,” Iruka said softly as he rolled the flesh over his tongue. “May I have some Champaign?”
“What will you give me if I let you have some?”
Iruka smiled, “What do you want, Endo-san?”
Kakashi took a sip from his glass. “Hm, your devotion, your undying love, your body…”
Giggling, Iruka lifted a hand and ran the backs of his fingers over Kakashi’s mouth. “You already have all those things, you have to be more specific. What about a kiss?”
Kakashi pretended to think that over as he watched out the window. “A kiss for some Champaign… sounds reasonable.”
He took a small sip and leaned in over Iruka. Their lips met gently, and Kakashi opened to share the Champaign with his partner. Iruka moaned and lapped it up with his tongue, sucking it from Kakashi’s lips before he slid a hand around the Copy Nin’s neck.
“Endo-san,” he breathed, “May I have some more, please?”
“No, my lovely Haru. That’s all for now.”
Kakashi straightened and motioned to the bottle chilling in the ice bucket.
“Would you like some?”
The escort sitting across from them jumped. He obviously had been enjoying the show and had not been expecting to be addressed directly.
“I.. n-no, Endo-san. Thank you.”
“Suit yourself,” Kakashi tipped the glass back and finished what was left. “How much longer?”
“Five minutes,” the escort said. He was large, with a rough face. Obviously capable in the way of ex-military or maybe contact sports. He was most likely hired security, a regular employee of the club, or possibly, Son Yang himself.
The club was set on the strip. It was not flashy, no neon lights or blinking signs, but it was presentable in the same way as luxury hotels. The car pulled up and the escort jumped out. He opened the door for Kakashi and moved away as The Copy Nin did the same for Iruka. The two made their way across the entrance, arm in arm, looking somewhat underdressed in all the surrounding high fashion and chrome. They both wore jeans and black t-shirts, comfortable yet unremarkable shoes. Kakashi’s one nod to the occasion being a simple, black blazer. Iruka’s a tight leather jacket. They moved through the crowd at the doors easily. Despite their lack of pomp and glitz, their escort did his job well and weaved them through and past the doors without fuss.
They turned down a hallway behind the front desk and took a service elevator to the sixth floor. As they stepped out, the atmosphere changed dramatically, and suddenly, Kakashi and Iruka fit right in, despite being entirely overdressed.
There were greeters at a long table waiting for them. An understated but lovely drag queen handed Iruka a small bouquet of white roses and bowed respectfully to Kakashi.
“Welcome, honored guests, Endo-san, Haru-san. My name is Lola. Will you be joining the diners directly, or shall I show you to one of the preparation rooms? If you choose to perform, please use the room for as long as you need.”
“We’ll use the room, thank you.”
Lola nodded. “Our hosts will be thrilled. Here, please take this,” she handed Kakashi a pamphlet. “This is tonight’s schedule. Please feel free to come and go as you please, and when you are ready to preform, just find me or anyone else wearing a name tag. Right this way.”
The room was spacious, fully furnished with a kitchen and dining room. It was more like an apartment or suite than a ready room. Lola bowed and left them with a gentle click of the door.
Kakashi read over the pamphlet as Iruka searched the room. He whistled as he read over the list of names.
“What is it, Endo-san?” Iruka asked.
Kakashi made a motion with his head, directing the sensei’s attention to a speaker installed in the ceiling. The room was audio monitored. It was unlikely there was video, but they would have to be extremely careful how they spoke to each other.
Taking a quick glance where Kakashi had indicated, Iruka gave a quick nod to show he had seen it and understood. They had both been expecting something like that, and had planned on the operation starting even before they entered the car.
“I’ve heard of some of these people,” Kakashi said, his attention returning to the program. “Politicians, big shot lawyers, CEOs of various companies... This banquet is a big deal.”
“Hm…” Iruka hummed as he moved into the kitchen. He lowered his hand to his side and signed in code for Kakashi to read as he spoke.
“You think they have ice, or will we need to get some?” (The ring runs that deep?)
Kakashi sat and responded with hand signals against the arm of the chair. “Check the freezer and I’ll get some if they don’t have any.” (Apparently. Remember, your recon will need to include exactly what it is they’re dealing in.)
Nodding, Iruka checked the freezer. “They have a tray in here.” (Will we need visual conformation?)
(If possible, but I don't think we'll be able to get it on this mission.) “Good. Come over here.” (Any storehouses or warehouses they've set up are probably going to be too far away.)
Iruka moved across the kitchen floor and onto the carpet. He slowly removed his shoes and jacket before climbing up into Kakashi’s lap. He tapped the code onto Kakashi’s shoulder as he leaned in close.
“What is it, Endo-san?” (I’ll see what I can find.)
Kakashi slid his hands over Iruka’s hips and ran his thumbs over that tightly packed section just below the younger man’s waist. He breathed in the scent of clean skin as Iruka put his arms around his neck. (It would be a bonus. But don’t push yourself, locations can be gathered through interrogation.)
“Are you sure about tonight?”
“Yes,” Iruka nodded.
“We’ve never done this before. It’ll be difficult.”
“It’s all right, Endo-san. I’ll do my best for you.”
Leaning in then, Iruka kissed Kakashi’s lips softly, like a lover would, and The Great Copy Nin felt himself slowly melting, his feelings burning, pushing him to the edge of sanity.
“I know you will.”
Iruka kissed him again. It was like he was taunting, daring Kakashi to try and remain under control.
It wasn’t fair. Kakashi’s restraint was so far gone it was in another time zone.
He sat forward and gently pulled at Iruka’s shirt, leaving soft kisses on exposed skin. He felt along the other man’s back, tracing the line of cuts he had inflicted the night before. It was wrong, he knew it was. As he did it, Kakashi hated himself. This was not part of the mission, nor was it comfort for Iruka, he was taking advantage of the situation. This was not for anything but Kakashi’s own selfish desires, and it solidified just how much of a monster he truly was.
“Endo-san…” Iruka’s deep voice was husky. “Endo-san, we don’t have time.” (We really don’t.)
“We have time.” Kakashi pulled Iruka’s shirt over his head, and thankfully, the sensei did not resist. In fact, Iruka pressed in closer, continuing to kiss him, running his hands up The Copy Nin’s jaw and further up into his hair.
(Are they expecting this?) Iruka tapped on the back of his neck.
(I don’t know.) Kakashi started to respond in code but he found he couldn’t remember how. So he spoke, breathing the words against Iruka’s lips. “You’re just very sexy right now and I can’t stop.”
Iruka pulled away and took Kakashi’s face in his hands. “Endo-san?” Their eyes met and Kakashi was sure his were pleading. It was all he could do to not start begging. Iruka studied him for a few seconds that went on so long in Kakashi’s head that he felt he would die.
This was insane, he was using the fact that they were being monitored as leverage. They both knew it would be suspicious if Iruka refused now, and Kakashi was banking on that. The sensei would have to play along or it might jeopardize the mission. God, the mission! He was using the mission to bait Iruka-sensei into sex! This was it. Kakashi had finally crossed over into territory he could never come back from. He was worse than depraved, he was beyond sickening.
He was vile.
Sure enough, because he had no choice, Iruka responded. The sensei held his gaze and slowly lowered his hands to the bottom of Kakashi’s shirt. He pushed it up slowly, sliding it over the Copy Nin’s chest, and then pulled it off when Kakashi lifted his arms.
When his hands returned to Kakashi’s jeans, Iruka slid his fingers underneath and tugged once, roughly. Kakashi groaned and lifted his hips, adjusting himself on the chair. He moved to undo the button, but Iruka’s voice was at his mouth.
“Stop,” he said firmly. Kakashi froze. The command in the sensei’s voice was unmistakable, even if it was sweet, like a request.
“Hands off, please,” Iruka said softly, and Kakashi put his hands up. He wasn’t sure where to put them, so he just rested them on the arms of the chair.
His heart was beating so fast, and his lungs were so tight. He had never experienced a switch before, not one that worked anyway. He had considered it a few times, but no sub he had ever known was capable of it. Of course, the obvious answer was that Iruka was not a true sub, he wasn’t even really into BDSM. Being dominant in sex was probably nothing new to the sensei at all.
But how had they come to this now? How was this happening? Kakashi was aware he was very close to emotional exhaustion. Maybe this was his body and his mind finally just giving up and giving in. It was also possible that he just felt he could submit to Iruka because the feelings he had for the sensei were so strong. Either way, he didn’t know, and frankly at the moment, he didn’t give a damn.
It was only fair, he supposed. Even if Iruka was going to take the lead, this was skirting the edge of non-consensual in the worst way. Kakashi knew he was going to pay for it later, not from Iruka, no he was too kind for that. No, Kakashi would have to answer to the cruelest judge of them all: himself.
The sensei’s hands were on him and pulling him out of his jeans, stroking him hard and rough. Kakashi made some kind of pitiful noise and looked down, watching helplessly as Iruka jerked every last bit of his resistance away.
And then he was moving, up and off of Kakashi’s lap. The Copy Nin started to protest, but then realized, Iruka only stood so he could slide his jeans down over his hips. They puddled on the floor at his feet and he stepped out of them and back into Kakashi’s lap.
Shaking, Kakashi started to reach for him, but Iruka stopped him at the wrist.
“I said hands off, please.”
There was nothing Kakashi could do but obey, so he put his hands back on the armrests. Iruka came over him and spit unceremoniously into his hand and wet Kakashi’s length.
“That’s… going to be rough…” Kakashi whispered.
Iruka looked into Kakashi’s face and smirked. “I know.” Then he lowered himself, pressing Kakashi into him slowly. Kakashi writhed as the sensei came down, and then back up, and then down again. It was torture, going just a little bit at a time like that, and a little painful, but pain and sex was something Kakashi did well, and apparently, so did Iruka. The Copy Nin gripped the armrests with little regard to whether or not he tore the fabric. Iruka was hot and soft and the best thing Kakashi had ever felt. It was better than last night, so much better. It was perfect.
He felt Iruka’s hand on his jaw and he looked up. The sensei’s lips ghosted over his and he whispered in that low, smooth voice that drove Kakashi wild.
“How do you want it?”
Kakashi made another pitiful noise. “Any… uh… however you want it.”
“Hm,” Iruka hummed and kissed Kakashi’s lips, “All right.”
Iruka rode him fast and hard until sweat beaded their bodies and Kakashi’s voice was hoarse. He used The Copy Nin’s shoulders to support himself and pounded Kakashi’s body into the cushions with the power from his hips. Kakashi couldn’t think, he couldn’t even react. All he could do was be swept away by Iruka’s fierceness, his amazing sexuality, his intoxicating body. He could feel himself getting closer, climbing his way towards orgasm with every slap of flesh and quiet “ah!” from Iruka’s lips. He didn’t realize he was talking, murmuring praises under his breath until the sensei clamped a hand over his mouth. It was a good thing, lest he start calling Iruka by his name or crying out “sensei”. Who knows, maybe he already had?
“You’re tightening up,” Iruka whispered, “are you gonna come?”
Kakashi clenched his teeth. He was, but he wanted it to last. He didn’t want it to be over yet.
“Yes,” he breathed, and his head fell back against the chair. Iruka took the opportunity and licked up his neck. “Aahh it feels good…” Kakashi moaned, “let me touch you.”
“Fine,” Iruka panted, “hold my hips. Pull me down on you.”
Kakashi seized the sensei’s powerful hips and did as he was told. He used the leverage to thrust up as well, which resulted in him going even harder and deeper into Iruka’s body.
“Ah!” Iruka gasped, “Ah! Yes!”
Everything started to coil like a spring, pleasure and pain and every last bit of sensation that was left, all wound together, tightening every muscle, and then released. Kakashi came hard, tensing, growling into a sweaty neck. He pulsed inside Iruka’s body, over and over, the pleasure filled his senses, blacked out his vision. For a handful of seconds he forgot who and where he was.
When he opened his eyes, he found Iruka resting above him, panting, his hair damp and sticking to his neck. His skin was flushed. Once again, Kakashi was struck. Iruka was the most beautiful thing Kakashi had ever seen.
There was nothing else to do but kiss the sensei, so Kakashi sat forward and took the younger man in his arms. Their lips met clumsily, tiredly, but it was sweet. Iruka’s arms went around his neck and for one brief moment, Kakashi forgot the circumstances of their coupling. He forgot how this had been a terrible, stupid idea, and that he was now the most revolting of men ever to have walked the planet.
Then Iruka was tensing, pushing himself away, and everything came crashing back to reality. Kakashi had manipulated the sensei into doing this. Kakashi had forced him. He had forced Iruka.
The sensei’s gaze stayed lowered as he ran fingers through his damp hair, most likely to busy himself with something other than looking at Kakashi. It seemed he was done indulging The Copy Nin’s repulsive needs, and was trying to find a way to escape without being suspicious.
“You all right?” Kakashi asked lamely, if only to get Iruka to look at him.
“Endo-san, I need to clean up.” Iruka’s reply was curt, almost cold. He said nothing else as he pulled himself off of Kakashi’s wilting sex and moved straight into the bathroom.
As the door started to click shut, Kakashi was jolted out of his stupor and he stood up. “Haru,” he said, and goddamnit if “Iruka” hadn’t almost escaped from between his lips. “Haru, stop, I’ll do it.”
There was a knock at the door.
Kakashi froze. Really? Right now?
“One second.”
He took a deep breath and focused on slowing his heart rate. This was absolutely the worst time, but what was he supposed to do? They were still on a mission.
There was nothing he could do about his sweaty, disheveled appearance, but he did tuck himself back into his jeans and tried to fix his hair into a more fashionable disarray.
Not surprisingly, it was Son Yang, and his meat slab of a bodyguard waiting when Kakashi opened the door. The Copy Nin folded his arms across his chest and made little effort to try and cover up the fact that their disruption was an annoyance.
“Evening, gentlemen.”
Son Yang bowed his head respectfully, “Good evening, Endo-san. I wanted to stop by and personally thank you for attending tonight and deciding to perform for us. Many of my associates know of you and your partner’s talents, but have never before had the pleasure of seeing them in person.” Yang’s eyes had strayed to Kakashi’s stomach, to the mess of Iruka’s cum glistening over hard lines of muscle.
Kakashi smirked and lifted one arm to lean against the doorframe. He posed, giving the two men a moment to look at the mess, think about what it meant. Then he ran a thumb through it and brought it to his lips, slowly sucking the saltiness from his skin. It was a possessive, gaudy thing to do, but at the moment, Kakashi did not care.
“Cool,” he said softly. “Is that all? We’re in the middle of… preparing, if you don’t mind.”
Son Yang smiled then and motioned to his guard. “No, we don’t mind at all. Again, thank you, Endo-san. And thank Haru-san as well. When you come out, there are three platforms set up for performers. You will have your pick, so please choose platform number two. It’s closest to my table.”
Kakashi straightened and gave Yang a quick bow before he shut the door.
Turning, Kakashi was surprised to find that Iruka had left the bathroom and was once again dressed, and watching him from the bar. The Copy Nin immediately wanted to apologize, beg forgiveness for acting so unprofessionally-so despicably-but something in the sensei’s manner stopped him.
It was strange but, Iruka seemed… okay?
“That was quite a little show you put on, Endo-san,” Iruka said softly. What was that, was he smirking?
Frantically trying to regain his composure, Kakashi shrugged and covered up his uncertainty with the usual: bull shit. “He should know better, my love. Yang thinks because he has a lot of money and owns a lot of stuff he can do what he wants.
I respectfully showed him that I am a professional Dom, and I don’t give a shit.”
That smirk turned into a full on smile and Kakashi’s knees almost buckled. What was happening? Didn’t Iruka understand what had just been done to him?
“Possessive Endo-san is my favorite Endo-san,” the sensei purred. What the hell was happening? Had the last fifteen minutes been a delusion?
“How are you, Haru?” Kakashi asked carefully. “I apologize that it was so rough right before a performance.”
Iruka shook his head and came closer. He even placed a hand on Kakashi’s chest. Maybe it really had been a dream? Some kind of genjutsu?
“I had to spend a few extra minutes cleaning up, but it’s a small price to pay. Besides, Endo-san, the way I remember it, the roughness wasn’t your idea.” With that, the sensei leaned in and kissed Kakashi softly on the mouth.
Kakashi was done. He couldn’t keep up anymore.
“Are you ready, Endo-san?”
Blinking, Kakashi tried to form words without drooling in himself. So much for an elite ninja.
“I need…” he licked his lips. Tried again. “I just need a quick rinse, then we’ll go.”
Iruka nodded and stepped aside so Kakashi could retreat into the bathroom.
The door closed behind him. The room spun a little, catching the Copy Nin off guard.
Maybe none of this was real? Maybe they had finished the mission already but Kakashi had lost it and now he was somewhere in a mental institution gnawing on spoons and shitting his pants?
Turning on the cold faucet, Kakashi leaned over the sink and splashed some of the cool water on his face. He didn’t look in the mirror, he knew what he would see and he couldn’t bear it. At that moment, Kakashi found himself feeling very inferior. Whatever Iruka had done to separate himself from what was happening was incredible, and Kakashi wished he was strong enough to do it too.
* * *
Kakashi watched from behind the doorway as Iruka made his way out into the dining hall. He weaved his way between tables, nodding to diners here and there, distracting more than a few people, and derailing conversations almost everywhere he walked. The performers were expected to appear from behind the curtain at the far end of the hall, the area was situated behind the three performance platforms, an ideal way to make an entrance, but Iruka had suggested that their approach be more low key; a surprise. The people were expecting them to come from backstage, not from the same place the waters and kitchen staff were entering.
When the sensei came upon Son Yang’s table, he slowed, and waved his fingers at the meat slab bodyguard. The big man stared at Iruka with wide eyes. He was probably not accustomed to being addressed directly, or flirted with for that matter, while on duty in public. Son Yang found the performance entertaining and chuckled into his napkin.
Baron Young was also seated at the table and he flinched when Iruka put a hand on his shoulder. The sensei used the Baron’s momentary agitation and slid his hand around the thick man’s throat. He teased, like it was a game, like he was pretending to strangle the Baron right there at the table, but then at the last moment, he released those thick jowls and placed a kiss on the Baron’s head.
Son Yang laughed again, but the Baron did not seem the least bit amused.
Kakashi smiled behind his palm. Served him right. Bastard.
Iruka blew a kiss to Son, and winked at the meat slab before he turned and moved to another table. Kakashi watched Iruka’s hips, his thighs, his bare stomach as he danced his way through the room. He flirted, he smiled, he touched and played carefully, making sure to give Doms and Masters the opportunity to nod consent, or decline.
Not that anyone declined.
After a fifteen, maybe twenty minutes, there was movement behind the curtain. A tall man with short-cropped black hair made his way from backstage and out between the performance platforms. He was lean and muscular, with tattoos covering his arms and most of his back. His face was rough but handsome, and his dark eyes watched Iruka intensely. He had thick leather cuffs on both of his wrists, and a chain connecting the piercings in his nipples.
This man was obviously the sub in one of the other performing duos. Kakashi had told Iruka this was a likely scenario. Another Dom might see “Haru’s” presentation and ask their sub if they wanted to play. It was a fun way to test boundaries and an easy way for the Doms to enjoy their subs from the sidelines. This sub had apparently been given permission to touch, and would proceed if “Haru” gave him consent.
Iruka saw the man coming and beckoned him over with a wag of a finger. The sub moved in carefully, and stood a safe distance from where the sensei stood. He was several inches taller, wider, but his presence was not as intense, or as intimidating as Iruka’s was. Kakashi was very pleased with that. Iruka made for an amazing sub when he needed to be, but there was something about the way the sensei did not really submit to anyone else but Kakashi. Just the thought of it got The Copy Nin’s blood pumping a little faster.
“Haru” reached out a hand and slipped a finger underneath the chain connecting the sub’s nipple rings. He tugged gently, once, getting the large man to move with him towards the platforms. Kakashi swallowed with difficulty as he watched Iruka’s skill, the way he controlled the other man with simple motions of his hands and sly twists of his hips. He was so pleased, and so proud, even though in the back of his mind, Kakashi knew he had nothing to do with it, really.
The sub was on his knees now, “Haru” stood with his back to him, their silhouettes to the crowd. There was no longer a dull murmuring of conversation. Almost every eye in the room was on the two subs and every heart was waiting to see what would happen.
“Haru” looked at the man over his shoulder, and tapped gently on his ass with a single finger. The sub shuddered and leaned in, kissing one cheek through the thin denim. “Haru” smiled and tapped the other cheek. The sub made a low sound and kissed that one as well.
Kakashi was hot. It was so hot, wasn’t there any air in the building?
“He is exquisite,” came a soft voice beside him.
Kakashi said nothing and continued to lean against the doorframe. Feigning disinterest was what he did best. Of course, he didn’t have his mask on. Shit.
“How long have you been together?” the soft voice continued. “How long was his training?”
Kakashi shrugged. “In my opinion, training never ends. His nor mine.”
“Hm, that’s a good way to look at things.”
Kakashi turned and found a small, blond man standing next to him. He was beautiful, light skin, bright blue eyes, and wearing a simple outfit of white trousers and a sleeveless, white tank. Tattoos covered his shoulders and neck, the patterns similar to his sub.
“Yours is quite the site as well,” Kakashi murmured. “His discipline is lovely.”
“Hm,” the man hummed again, “Kuro is a good boy. He’s been a mess today though, he’s wanted to meet Haru for a long time.”
Kakashi turned back to the stage where Haru was standing, hands on his hips, directing Kuro to kiss his feet.
“You know me and my partner, but I don’t have the pleasure of knowing your name.”
“I am called Fai, my lover is Kuro. We are not strictly performers. We mostly teach and train, and we are very exclusive.”
“What made you decide to perform tonight?” Kakashi asked.
Fai shrugged. “Many of the people dining here tonight are former students of ours, or regulars at our lectures.”
Kakashi nodded. That was interesting, maybe this couple would be a good source of intel. Fai seemed genuine, and very in control. He was polite, complimentary and respectful. Competent. Definitely someone Kakashi would have liked to have in his circle if he was still into the lifestyle.
Fai moved closer then, not enough to touch, but enough for Kakashi to feel the warmth of his body. “If you are interested, maybe we could exchange information and meet at a later date. I think Kuro would enjoy some time with Haru without the added stress of performance.” He moved still closer, his lips a mere a hair’s breadth from Kakashi’s ear. “I’m sure he would enjoy yours as well. The four of us could, no doubt, learn many things from each other.”
Kakashi turned and looked down at the smaller man. He was challenging, but still respectful. Dominant without being overbearing. And very attractive. The offer, in addition to the chemistry between Iruka and Kuro, tickled something inside Kakashi that he hadn’t felt in a long time.
“I will speak to Haru,” Kakashi said softly. “I’m sure he will agree.”
Fai smiled. “I’ll find you afterwards then.” The man moved away and slipped back into the kitchen. “It was wonderful meeting you, Endo-san.”
Kakashi turned back to the dining hall, and watched as Iruka pushed Kuro onto his back on one of the tables. The diners had moved the plates and the decorations to the side, making enough room for the two men to perform directly in front of them.
Haru placed a knee on the table at Kuro’s hip. He climbed up and over the larger sub’s body, and settled down on a muscled chest. With simple, silent direction, Haru instructed Kuro to lay his arms flat, palms up. He then took two wine glasses, partially full, and placed them on the tips of Kuro’s fingers, one in each hand.
Smile widening, Kakashi moved slowly into the dining hall, trying to get a closer look. This had not been part of the plan, but as he had assured Iruka earlier, the sensei’s instincts were getting him through.
Haru made a “shush” motion with his index finger against his lips, and then took another two wine glasses and stacked them on the first two. Kuro moaned, because of Haru’s excellent domination, or from the strain of balancing the four glasses, Kakashi was uncertain. It didn’t matter however, the scene was intense and beautiful already.
Moving carefully, Haru backed up and turned to one of the diners. The man immediately gave up his unused wine glass when Haru indicated that he wanted it, and the scarred, beautiful sub held it out as the man filled it from the bottle on the table. Thanking him with a nod of his head, Haru then tipped it gently, pouring a few drops of wine onto Kuro’s stomach.
Kuro flinched, but did not move, not even as Haru leaned down and lapped up the wine slowly with his tongue and bottom lip. The diners around the table whistled and clapped softly as the glasses stayed where they were.
Kakashi was hard, craving the attention Iruka was giving Kuro, but of course now was not the time. He would make himself be seen, but he would stay as an observer. He didn’t want to break Iruka’s flow. The Copy Nin moved around the tables, following the wall towards the makeshift stage. He kept his eyes on Iruka’s back as he walked past Son Yang’s table, not giving him nor the Baron a second glance. They were not worth his time. When he neared the second platform, he set the bag he had been carrying on the floor, and then turned and sat. He leaned back, hands on the cushion, and enjoyed the looks he received from the diners that had noticed him.
Haru was still playing with Kuro, and the tattooed sub still had all four glasses balanced perfectly. There were laughs and quiet cheers from the surrounding tables as Haru fed Kuro bits of fruit from his own mouth, or ran cold strawberries over pierced nipples. The desperation in Kuro’s muscles and the look in his eyes was obvious, but it was also obvious that the man was infatuated. Kakashi couldn’t blame the poor man, he was too.
Finally, Haru took the glasses and placed them back on the table where he found them. Kuro sat up, sliding his hands over Haru’s hips, and gently kissed the smaller man on his jaw. Kakashi felt a rush of jealousy at that, the touch was much too intimate for his tastes, but he stayed where he was, focused on keeping every emotion he was feeling off his face.
He was able to calm his storm when Haru climbed off of Kuro’s lap and kissed both of the larger man’s hands. Haru said his goodbyes and turned to the platforms, and to where Kakashi was sitting.
Kakashi watched the smile spread across that beautiful face, and wished with all his heart that the one smiling at him at that moment was Iruka. What he wouldn’t give to quit this terrible mission and just go home, take the sensei with him, and make love to him the way he deserved to be made love to. Normally, in a normal bed, spoiled and worshiped, waited on hand and foot. Loved and adored by Kakashi every minute of every day.
But it was not Iruka, it was Haru that made his way towards him. It was Haru that licked the stray drops of wine from his wrist and watched him for a reaction. It was Haru that met him at the platform and dropped to his knees when Kakashi motioned for him to do so.
“My beautiful Haru,” Kakashi said, loud enough for the surrounding tables to hear, “I see you’ve been enjoying yourself.”
Haru smiled with mock embarrassment, “Not as much fun as Kuro-chan, I think.” A smattering of laughter from the onlookers accompanied Haru’s words.
Kakashi turned to see Fai leading Kuro to the platform next to them. The couple was already intense, already in the beginnings of a scene. Fai had several straps and what looked like a whip thrown over his shoulder. Kuro was already whimpering, already delirious with happiness as his master laid him down on the cushions. He was murmuring something in a quiet voice, tears making their way down his cheeks from the corners of his eyes.
“Haru,” Kakashi said softly, “Let’s take a moment and watch this performance. I’m sure it will be lovely.”
“Yes, Endo-san.”
Kakashi moved back enough to give Haru plenty of room to climb up beside him. The Copy Nin stayed in the same position he had been in the entire time, relaxed, resting on his elbows. Haru posed beside him, hands caressing his shoulders, his cock within reach if Kakashi wanted to touch it.
“You did well,” Kakashi said, addressing both Haru and Iruka.
Iruka was the one that answered him. He lowered his head to nuzzle into the hair just above Kakashi’s ear. His hands smoothed down the Copy Nin’s back and chest at the same time.
“Endo-san,” Iruka said, his voice sure.
“You will never believe what I found out.”
TBC
All previous chapters here.
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