More changes coming
Hope everyone's well. I do believe I have forgotten how to be warm and sociable - there's so much going on right now, I feel like I can only give any given situation a cursory glance.
Vision changes - in a nutshell, my left eyeball is undergoing "vitreal detachment" - where the vitreous humor begins to change from a gel to a liquid, and the membrane surrounding it starts to sag (much like the membrane around an egg yolk) and pull away from the retina. Nothing is clear - it's like looking through a film of cellophane all the time. Refracts the light and distorts clarity. So much for the expensive Progressive lenses in the glasses. No cure, no treatment - it's a product of aging. Leave it to one's body to remind one of one's age. *roll eyes*
I am now working two jobs - the driving job which has cut my hours drastically in the past year - and now sitting overnight with a 95-year-old lady three nights a week. Pleasant work, but not exactly job security. Stretched a little thin? How about this - I'm also enrolled in an online college course. Finally going to get my bachelor's. Business Administration, with a focus in Entrepreneurship. It's a three-year program. So far I have a solid B, which is horrible from my standpoint - I can do better.
Daughter is bringing more - intrigue - into the mix. She wants to move out. Like, asap. Doesn't matter that we are three months behind in the rent (mostly thanks to her wanting things that are NOT on the budget - like cigarettes and alcohol) and it's obvious we are on a sinking ship. Doesn't matter that she can't go anywhere on her money because we have to live off of it - she's supposed to pay half of everything and there's not enough. I can't deal with it any longer. She is an addict and an alcoholic and there was a Very Valid Reason Why I Stayed Away From Her For Ten Years!
The political unrest has me positively in knots. I see the clips of what those barbarians are doing overseas, with their mass shootings and beheadings... and I know they're over here, too, but our Illustrious Leader wants them here and has no intention of making them go anywhere. I want to run, I want to hide - I have a place to go... but now there's no more money to travel. Whatever savings I had disappeared early in the Care and Feeding of Daughter. I don't want to do this anymore. I'm done. I can't do it. How can anyone "run and hide" when you have an emotionally and psychologically damaged adult female along with a diaper baby and a first-grader? How can I run? How can I stay? *facepalm*
I have Too Much Stuff. It's all mine - it's all got my energy signature on it, and I paid for most of it, so that's money spent. How can I take it with me? A lot of people came together to help us get into this apartment; all that effort and expense is going to be wasted because most likely we are going to lose this apartment. What a slap in the face to those who put out so much!!!! I can't face this. It's a shame. It's a damn shame.
I need to go - I'm going to come back to this later. No promises as to when. There's just never enough time for anything. Always interruptions.
Vision changes - in a nutshell, my left eyeball is undergoing "vitreal detachment" - where the vitreous humor begins to change from a gel to a liquid, and the membrane surrounding it starts to sag (much like the membrane around an egg yolk) and pull away from the retina. Nothing is clear - it's like looking through a film of cellophane all the time. Refracts the light and distorts clarity. So much for the expensive Progressive lenses in the glasses. No cure, no treatment - it's a product of aging. Leave it to one's body to remind one of one's age. *roll eyes*
I am now working two jobs - the driving job which has cut my hours drastically in the past year - and now sitting overnight with a 95-year-old lady three nights a week. Pleasant work, but not exactly job security. Stretched a little thin? How about this - I'm also enrolled in an online college course. Finally going to get my bachelor's. Business Administration, with a focus in Entrepreneurship. It's a three-year program. So far I have a solid B, which is horrible from my standpoint - I can do better.
Daughter is bringing more - intrigue - into the mix. She wants to move out. Like, asap. Doesn't matter that we are three months behind in the rent (mostly thanks to her wanting things that are NOT on the budget - like cigarettes and alcohol) and it's obvious we are on a sinking ship. Doesn't matter that she can't go anywhere on her money because we have to live off of it - she's supposed to pay half of everything and there's not enough. I can't deal with it any longer. She is an addict and an alcoholic and there was a Very Valid Reason Why I Stayed Away From Her For Ten Years!
The political unrest has me positively in knots. I see the clips of what those barbarians are doing overseas, with their mass shootings and beheadings... and I know they're over here, too, but our Illustrious Leader wants them here and has no intention of making them go anywhere. I want to run, I want to hide - I have a place to go... but now there's no more money to travel. Whatever savings I had disappeared early in the Care and Feeding of Daughter. I don't want to do this anymore. I'm done. I can't do it. How can anyone "run and hide" when you have an emotionally and psychologically damaged adult female along with a diaper baby and a first-grader? How can I run? How can I stay? *facepalm*
I have Too Much Stuff. It's all mine - it's all got my energy signature on it, and I paid for most of it, so that's money spent. How can I take it with me? A lot of people came together to help us get into this apartment; all that effort and expense is going to be wasted because most likely we are going to lose this apartment. What a slap in the face to those who put out so much!!!! I can't face this. It's a shame. It's a damn shame.
I need to go - I'm going to come back to this later. No promises as to when. There's just never enough time for anything. Always interruptions.