ER visit on Wednesday
Writing this after midnight, but Tuesday's events are still "yesterday" to me, and Wednesday's are still "Today"...
Tuesday while driving for work, I noticed a shift in my field of vision. Kinda shimmery on the periphery, and blank spots where I couldn't see anything at all. And I was SLEEPY!!! Man, I was so sleepy! It was so weird. And I couldn't make any real decisions - stay or go home, stay or go home, I couldn't choose. I bulled my way through and made it to the end of the day. My car was on the fritz again, but at least this time it quit in my parking space instead of 90 miles from home. (continue thought below the Note)
[Note: This entry was interrupted for better than a week, so what follows is dated 4/17/14.]
(That ended up being a drain from the overflow valve; I had never seen it do that before, so I didn't take any chances. Chose not to drive it until I could get the garage to look at it.) Walked home. Called my closest friend, the one who was sheltering me until this Daughter Fiasco happened, and the next day I called out sick and she took me to the ER.
I was treated like a Cardiac patient (btw, food trays for Cardiac patients aren't that bad) with chest X-ray, bloodwork, and brain MRI. Hooked up to monitors, of course. There were no visual disturbances that day, but I did get light-headed if I moved certain ways. Tests revealed nothing. There were no indicators of any stroke or anything like that. Everything "normal". (Boy, do I have THEM fooled! LOL) I got the hospital to give me a note excusing me from work the next day, so I was off for 5 days - Wednesday through Sunday. Spent Thursday through Saturday at my friend's - which worked out well since her hubby was on an extended business trip for the week. I did get a follow-up visit on Thursday with my PC doc; he noted that my BP was higher than smart, so I promised I would be more obedient about taking my BP meds, then went with my friend back to her house. Also called an ophthalmologist, who I see tomorrow. SHE seemed more concerned than my PC was; but then, if she was so concerned, why didn't she bump me in for a sooner appointment? Hm.
Let's back up a bit - did I mention that we had a visit from Child Protective Services two weeks ago? Yeah... that went well. The social worker came to the door all polite and caring, telling us what services we might need that they had to offer... and then, after we'd warmed up to her and candidly answered some questions, THEN she took the gloves off and said she was from Child Protective Services. I flat-out told her that I felt that was a bit underhanded to do it that way... but what can you do?
Upshot of all of it was, Daughter was POSITIVE I had called them! I didn't - and I looked her in the eye and told her so. Granddaughter has missed 20 days of school just since December. I had been telling Daughter this would throw up red flags if she wasn't careful. Later on, I told my oldest son that I hadn't called CPS, and he believed me, and I think he was able to temper Daughter's sense of betrayal somewhat. Son-in-law has promised me that if the girls are taken from the home, that he will make sure I never see them again.
Let me say this up front - I did not want to get into this situation in the first place. I was brow-beaten into getting into a situation that at the very least I cannot financially survive in. But I will be damned if I will let anything bad happen to my grandkids. I may not want to be wrapped up in child care for such young kids, but I won't hurt them, and I will "do my duty" by them. It may not be softness and light, but it won't be drugs, alcohol, and scary fights, either. And from the looks of it, I may very well be the only adult in my grandkids' immediate family circle who doesn't drink. And let me add one other thing here - I won't use my grandkids for emotional badminton birdies, either. If the courts give them to their dad, I will not put myself in the position of being the other half of tearing them apart.
And, of course, now Daughter has to submit to a drug screening. Which she will fail. So guess what - she went running 80+ miles away for Spring Break to spend time with hubby and let the girls see their daddy (which they need, I know)... and to avoid the test until she has less of the stuff in her system. *shake head* You can run, but you can't hide. I don't know where this is going to lead.
When I was growing up, I NEVER, EVER, IN A MILLION YEARS would have been allowed to do anything like this and not get permanently cast out of the family for it. I did so much less and still got cut out. I didn't even KNOW about some of this stuff until I was well into adulthood. Well, the alcohol - I knew about that because of my parents and grandmother - but drugs? Nah. Not even a blip on the radar. Jeez. I so hate whatever influence got my daughter set on this path. It feels like she's stuck in the La Brea tar pits, and I can touch her, but I can't pull her out. And she likes the tar.
My counselor says I need to take care of MARY, and I will... but soaking in a tub of lavender-scented Epsom salts just isn't always feasible. (I don't really like soaking in a tub of hot water, anyway.)
Tuesday while driving for work, I noticed a shift in my field of vision. Kinda shimmery on the periphery, and blank spots where I couldn't see anything at all. And I was SLEEPY!!! Man, I was so sleepy! It was so weird. And I couldn't make any real decisions - stay or go home, stay or go home, I couldn't choose. I bulled my way through and made it to the end of the day. My car was on the fritz again, but at least this time it quit in my parking space instead of 90 miles from home. (continue thought below the Note)
[Note: This entry was interrupted for better than a week, so what follows is dated 4/17/14.]
(That ended up being a drain from the overflow valve; I had never seen it do that before, so I didn't take any chances. Chose not to drive it until I could get the garage to look at it.) Walked home. Called my closest friend, the one who was sheltering me until this Daughter Fiasco happened, and the next day I called out sick and she took me to the ER.
I was treated like a Cardiac patient (btw, food trays for Cardiac patients aren't that bad) with chest X-ray, bloodwork, and brain MRI. Hooked up to monitors, of course. There were no visual disturbances that day, but I did get light-headed if I moved certain ways. Tests revealed nothing. There were no indicators of any stroke or anything like that. Everything "normal". (Boy, do I have THEM fooled! LOL) I got the hospital to give me a note excusing me from work the next day, so I was off for 5 days - Wednesday through Sunday. Spent Thursday through Saturday at my friend's - which worked out well since her hubby was on an extended business trip for the week. I did get a follow-up visit on Thursday with my PC doc; he noted that my BP was higher than smart, so I promised I would be more obedient about taking my BP meds, then went with my friend back to her house. Also called an ophthalmologist, who I see tomorrow. SHE seemed more concerned than my PC was; but then, if she was so concerned, why didn't she bump me in for a sooner appointment? Hm.
Let's back up a bit - did I mention that we had a visit from Child Protective Services two weeks ago? Yeah... that went well. The social worker came to the door all polite and caring, telling us what services we might need that they had to offer... and then, after we'd warmed up to her and candidly answered some questions, THEN she took the gloves off and said she was from Child Protective Services. I flat-out told her that I felt that was a bit underhanded to do it that way... but what can you do?
Upshot of all of it was, Daughter was POSITIVE I had called them! I didn't - and I looked her in the eye and told her so. Granddaughter has missed 20 days of school just since December. I had been telling Daughter this would throw up red flags if she wasn't careful. Later on, I told my oldest son that I hadn't called CPS, and he believed me, and I think he was able to temper Daughter's sense of betrayal somewhat. Son-in-law has promised me that if the girls are taken from the home, that he will make sure I never see them again.
Let me say this up front - I did not want to get into this situation in the first place. I was brow-beaten into getting into a situation that at the very least I cannot financially survive in. But I will be damned if I will let anything bad happen to my grandkids. I may not want to be wrapped up in child care for such young kids, but I won't hurt them, and I will "do my duty" by them. It may not be softness and light, but it won't be drugs, alcohol, and scary fights, either. And from the looks of it, I may very well be the only adult in my grandkids' immediate family circle who doesn't drink. And let me add one other thing here - I won't use my grandkids for emotional badminton birdies, either. If the courts give them to their dad, I will not put myself in the position of being the other half of tearing them apart.
And, of course, now Daughter has to submit to a drug screening. Which she will fail. So guess what - she went running 80+ miles away for Spring Break to spend time with hubby and let the girls see their daddy (which they need, I know)... and to avoid the test until she has less of the stuff in her system. *shake head* You can run, but you can't hide. I don't know where this is going to lead.
When I was growing up, I NEVER, EVER, IN A MILLION YEARS would have been allowed to do anything like this and not get permanently cast out of the family for it. I did so much less and still got cut out. I didn't even KNOW about some of this stuff until I was well into adulthood. Well, the alcohol - I knew about that because of my parents and grandmother - but drugs? Nah. Not even a blip on the radar. Jeez. I so hate whatever influence got my daughter set on this path. It feels like she's stuck in the La Brea tar pits, and I can touch her, but I can't pull her out. And she likes the tar.
My counselor says I need to take care of MARY, and I will... but soaking in a tub of lavender-scented Epsom salts just isn't always feasible. (I don't really like soaking in a tub of hot water, anyway.)