More Car Problems
After clocking out for lunch today, I had so many plans for what I was going to accomplish during the hour off... Going to the bank... stopping to see the kitties and read my library book which I had left on the dining room table for later... Having a car which would not start did not figure high on that particular list, but it quickly overrode
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It's not only better to give than receive, it's a damn sight easier. And it's very difficult to truly give. To give someone something and attach no strings to it -- and to cut the strings that the receiving person may put on themselves for taking the gift. But only one who freely receives a gift can return a truly free response.
Yes, learned the hard way. Before I married the first time, I was entirely self-supporting. Within a year and a half, I was deep in debt, pregnant, and every stitch of clothing I had (including underwear), and our car, was a gift from my parents. It was very, very hard to go back to being dependent on them, and even harder to maintain a sense of inner independence.
It raised some interesting issues. At one point, I had to tell my parents that unless they allowed me and the former Bravest Man Alive to make decisions ourselves, I would have to stop taking money from them -- even though we needed it badly. And then, when he decided to leave us, I had to ask them for help again, to pay the lawyer and keep me sane for a while, because I was laid off a month after he left. (Unemployment was $137 a week back then... I think I'm still carrying some of that debt.)
But what I learned then informs both my giving and receiving now. I hope I can give help without strings, and I hope I can receive help graciously, without feeling smaller than I really am (which is not large, but still). Because when the chips are down and all you have are your friends and family, it's your openness to receiving what they can give and understanding why they give in just the way they do that will build the relationship.
I am rejoiced that you have a son who can help you. Don't worry -- you will have many more opportunities to nourish and provide for him.
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