wow this thing hasent cancelled..
I havent written in this thing in forever.
I kinda deleted this thing from my mind but latley ive been needing to vent bout louie stuff and family stuff.
Some of you might know about all the drama surrounding me and my family like 3 months ago. Most of that has passed...well the bad stuff for the most part. Its still hard and junk but i just gotta pull through. I cant say it wasent my fault. When some of it was. I made mistakes....But i guess all teenagers are entitled to messing up once in there life. All im looking foward too is picking up the pieces and starting fresh and getting out of here. Not that the valley is bad. Cause its cool but i feel like somewhere else is where i need to be. The relationship with my mom will never get better but that has to do with both of us. im tired of trying to get along with her. It wont happen. IS that hard for everyone to understand. She doesnt want it and niether do i.Yes sometimes i wish it was all movie like but that wont happen.
Louie...And of course all the stuff louie puts me through.well what more do i say about him. He confuses me to no end with his actions.It can be perfect one day and shitty the next. I know him...and hes scared of love. and loving me...thats how its always been with him. I hope one day he realizes its ok to love and give in. But he has this huge wall that no one can break. I know in my heart hes a great guy and i dont doubt he loves me. but its like what kind love is it.. is it whenever he feels like it or what. I cant do it anymore. I dont want to be with someone that feels that way. He leaves the 24 and i wont see him till xmas. Our relationship is dying and i can feel it. Either that or hes shutting me out so it wont hurt as bad. Or maybe im just tripping out or something hoo knows.
Sometimes i wonder why i put up with the way he acts with me.
Its raining hard outside...i wish i had a guy who would want to sit on a porch and watch how the sky changes when the weather is like this. A guy who wouldnt mind sitting on the roof and try to find all the constellations with me. Someone thats up for anything and is funny and makes me laugh all the freaking time.... I know i might be asking for too much but shit....is this dream guy even out there.
Ive concluded that right now im just going to study and not try and look for that someone. whatever happends happends.... God knows whats going to happen and i know he will put the right people and situations in my path.
Its all school and work now....
There wont be anything to distract me from my dream. Its all books and dancing from here on out.
And if any of you know a guy i just described...tell him that there are girls out there hoo will appreciate him...
♥
ps jack...our work out is killing me already and its not even the damn morning
I kinda deleted this thing from my mind but latley ive been needing to vent bout louie stuff and family stuff.
Some of you might know about all the drama surrounding me and my family like 3 months ago. Most of that has passed...well the bad stuff for the most part. Its still hard and junk but i just gotta pull through. I cant say it wasent my fault. When some of it was. I made mistakes....But i guess all teenagers are entitled to messing up once in there life. All im looking foward too is picking up the pieces and starting fresh and getting out of here. Not that the valley is bad. Cause its cool but i feel like somewhere else is where i need to be. The relationship with my mom will never get better but that has to do with both of us. im tired of trying to get along with her. It wont happen. IS that hard for everyone to understand. She doesnt want it and niether do i.Yes sometimes i wish it was all movie like but that wont happen.
Louie...And of course all the stuff louie puts me through.well what more do i say about him. He confuses me to no end with his actions.It can be perfect one day and shitty the next. I know him...and hes scared of love. and loving me...thats how its always been with him. I hope one day he realizes its ok to love and give in. But he has this huge wall that no one can break. I know in my heart hes a great guy and i dont doubt he loves me. but its like what kind love is it.. is it whenever he feels like it or what. I cant do it anymore. I dont want to be with someone that feels that way. He leaves the 24 and i wont see him till xmas. Our relationship is dying and i can feel it. Either that or hes shutting me out so it wont hurt as bad. Or maybe im just tripping out or something hoo knows.
Sometimes i wonder why i put up with the way he acts with me.
Its raining hard outside...i wish i had a guy who would want to sit on a porch and watch how the sky changes when the weather is like this. A guy who wouldnt mind sitting on the roof and try to find all the constellations with me. Someone thats up for anything and is funny and makes me laugh all the freaking time.... I know i might be asking for too much but shit....is this dream guy even out there.
Ive concluded that right now im just going to study and not try and look for that someone. whatever happends happends.... God knows whats going to happen and i know he will put the right people and situations in my path.
Its all school and work now....
There wont be anything to distract me from my dream. Its all books and dancing from here on out.
And if any of you know a guy i just described...tell him that there are girls out there hoo will appreciate him...
♥
ps jack...our work out is killing me already and its not even the damn morning