this is my last goodbye
i dont think it's as much as me as it is problems with each other. so... i'm going to say this.
megan- i can't apoligize enough for doing what i have in the past. but you also have to understand that what i'm doing right now isn't connected to the past. and what happened over the weekend happened...and that's all. i'm not dealing with all the drama anymore for the fact that number 1, i'm in pennsylvania. number 2, it just feels like i'm now the one butting into everything that i dont believe i have any business with and number 3, my life is just as stressful as everyone else's right now. but my petty problems dont mean shit to anyone when you're hurting. i wish for the best for you, and you should know that. i just can't sit around and feel horrible for what happened when it felt so right at the time, and even still does feel right. to an extent. i dont know how you and jordan are...and i never will now. but i got into it without thinking, and i think it shouldn't be as big of a deal as everyone's making it. i do see your side of it, but when thinking about it all...if i had a best friend, that happened to be a guy, and that happened to be someone that you clicked with when you came back, i'd be so incredibly happy for you because i really care about you and love seeing you smile. i also know how much a nice relationship would mean to you. and if it happened with someone that i was best friends with, it would just make sense to me that my other best friend would be nice for him. but, that's just my way of seeing things. i probably was being selfish for wanting my happiness....and my happiness seems to always screw things over with you. you can talk to me if you ever want to have anything to do with your "best friend" in PA.
jordan- i can't think of anything right now that's going to sound remotely appealing to you whatsoever. i can sit here and tell you that i still care about you, i'm still glad that everything happened, and i still miss everything about you. but, it then sounds like i'm taking your side. and i'm not taking anyone's side. i'm best friends with megan and i want to me more with you. on both hands i have people who made everything perfect for a few days...and i can't choose between them. after all this stupid drama that could've easily been avoided without overanalyzing everything that happened...things are never going to be how i want it. but, i guess that's what i get for once again meddling in megan's life. i dont regret anything that i did while i was there. in fact, still thinking about it brings a huge smile to my face. i'm sorry that i upset megan and in return ended up causing this huge fight. but you are right when you say i need to be happy. and i do, i guess i chose the wrong way. i should've known this was going to be f-ed up because it's one of the greatest things that has happened to me in quite sometime. i suppose i'm just being selfish for finding my happiness that's connected to megan. maybe someday, if everything ever returns to how it was, i can kiss you again and feel the same thing i felt when i was there. again, i'm sorry for making you unhappy about something that should be overwhelmingly happy.
megan- i can't apoligize enough for doing what i have in the past. but you also have to understand that what i'm doing right now isn't connected to the past. and what happened over the weekend happened...and that's all. i'm not dealing with all the drama anymore for the fact that number 1, i'm in pennsylvania. number 2, it just feels like i'm now the one butting into everything that i dont believe i have any business with and number 3, my life is just as stressful as everyone else's right now. but my petty problems dont mean shit to anyone when you're hurting. i wish for the best for you, and you should know that. i just can't sit around and feel horrible for what happened when it felt so right at the time, and even still does feel right. to an extent. i dont know how you and jordan are...and i never will now. but i got into it without thinking, and i think it shouldn't be as big of a deal as everyone's making it. i do see your side of it, but when thinking about it all...if i had a best friend, that happened to be a guy, and that happened to be someone that you clicked with when you came back, i'd be so incredibly happy for you because i really care about you and love seeing you smile. i also know how much a nice relationship would mean to you. and if it happened with someone that i was best friends with, it would just make sense to me that my other best friend would be nice for him. but, that's just my way of seeing things. i probably was being selfish for wanting my happiness....and my happiness seems to always screw things over with you. you can talk to me if you ever want to have anything to do with your "best friend" in PA.
jordan- i can't think of anything right now that's going to sound remotely appealing to you whatsoever. i can sit here and tell you that i still care about you, i'm still glad that everything happened, and i still miss everything about you. but, it then sounds like i'm taking your side. and i'm not taking anyone's side. i'm best friends with megan and i want to me more with you. on both hands i have people who made everything perfect for a few days...and i can't choose between them. after all this stupid drama that could've easily been avoided without overanalyzing everything that happened...things are never going to be how i want it. but, i guess that's what i get for once again meddling in megan's life. i dont regret anything that i did while i was there. in fact, still thinking about it brings a huge smile to my face. i'm sorry that i upset megan and in return ended up causing this huge fight. but you are right when you say i need to be happy. and i do, i guess i chose the wrong way. i should've known this was going to be f-ed up because it's one of the greatest things that has happened to me in quite sometime. i suppose i'm just being selfish for finding my happiness that's connected to megan. maybe someday, if everything ever returns to how it was, i can kiss you again and feel the same thing i felt when i was there. again, i'm sorry for making you unhappy about something that should be overwhelmingly happy.