(no subject)
I've gotten to the point where I don't even want to check my bank account. I don't want to know what it has to say to me.
A huge part of me and a part of why I'm doing what I'm doing is to NOT be a slave to money. I want to understand what it's like to not have money.
But I think I've been treating it like a game. Like I can say "time-out" whenever I want to, then reach into my piggie bank and pull out enough to buy books for law school, to buy an amp for my guitar, to just buy a new damn pair of socks. But it's not there.
Granted, I have a mom. So I can kinda do that to some extent, but only for real necessities. It wouldn't come to the point where I'm really hungry and can't get money, or cold and can't pay for heat, or am out of housing because I can no longer pay the rent.
So somewhere between there and the other there, is here. Is where I am. I'm not comfortable, but I don't want to be.
I guess I'm just still working on my mindset.
A huge part of me and a part of why I'm doing what I'm doing is to NOT be a slave to money. I want to understand what it's like to not have money.
But I think I've been treating it like a game. Like I can say "time-out" whenever I want to, then reach into my piggie bank and pull out enough to buy books for law school, to buy an amp for my guitar, to just buy a new damn pair of socks. But it's not there.
Granted, I have a mom. So I can kinda do that to some extent, but only for real necessities. It wouldn't come to the point where I'm really hungry and can't get money, or cold and can't pay for heat, or am out of housing because I can no longer pay the rent.
So somewhere between there and the other there, is here. Is where I am. I'm not comfortable, but I don't want to be.
I guess I'm just still working on my mindset.