In regards to my cousin’s wedding…
I went to Napa for a wedding, specifically my cousin Ben’s. I basically grew up with him during elementary school. Summers were my sister, Ben and I at my grandma’s house making forts on the back-deck, playing lava and alligators on the stairs, going to the library via the blue wagon in the back, backyards-facing seats, and torturing the dogs while playing dress-up. He was a punk at times, but I remember vividly how he loved to wear a Superman costume that had built-in muscles. And pickles, he loved to eat pickles. So, imagine my surprise when I see a picture of him a few years ago looking all grown up, with a 5-o’clock shadow, and buffed-up like his Superman costume of old. He looked so different, except for the smile; it was still the same open and sweet smile I remembered from years ago. Then I heard that he got engaged and was inviting the family to his wedding. He is a cousin on my dad’s side of the family, and we hardly get to see each other as we are spread out all over the west coast, so the thought of a family reunion (of sorts) was too appealing to pass up.
What I didn’t expect, after my extended weekend away in California, was to come back with all-the-feelings. Grab your sparkling wine (thanks Mumm Napa) and cop-a-squat while I unpack.
Regret: I went down with Nick and Aurelia. And I knew that it would be hard to manage all-the-things with Aurelia in tow. But there wasn’t an alternative. It was either I go alone, or the whole family comes. While alone would have been okay, I wanted Nick and Aurelia to come, visit with people, see some sights, etc. We also had other family obligation in the works with Nick’s side of the family, so all-in-all, our trip needed to be all of us. However, because it was the whole kit-and-caboodle, we had to miss out on some really good extended family quality time. I never got to really talk to Ben. I was constantly thinking about Aurelia’s needs, so I didn’t get to converse with my aunts and uncles without being distracted or running away to grab her. There was also a lack of communication between all the families, so a lot of things could have been done better if I had had the forethought to discuss possible nap arrangements for Aurelia. So, I had big regrets leaving Napa without really having a chance to catch-up with all the family.
Melancholy: Though partnered with regret in correlation to family time (or lack thereof), melancholy’s biggest driver is California. It is always weird going back to California, and every time I fly away I feel something different. But the one feeling that is unchanging is melancholy. This state holds within its borders some of the greatest people I know and I miss them. I miss them a lot. I also miss the community; the understanding that to live in the Bay Area (or really, anywhere) is hard, so let’s not add to it by being dicks to each other. I am so, so, so over the “Seattle Freeze”. People of Seattle: it is completely acceptable to say hello to a stranger in a long line, if your eyes should meet. Also, making eye-contact with a stranger is normal and natural, and you should do it verses acting like the other person is Medusa or carrying a yet-to-be-known deadly contagious disease. Let’s all agree that we all got shit to do and being polite and considerate to the other human beings around is standard practice. You can also refer to this as “basic human decency”. Also, learn to drive.
Love: Man, did I feel the love. I might have been the only one, but I don’t care. I think I felt regret and melancholy so much because of love. Outside of the wedding, I got to visit extended friends and family, and sometimes introduce Aurelia for the first time. Also, there is nothing like going to a wedding, being surround by family and good friends (even if they aren’t your own), and celebrating such a momentous occasion. I felt so lucky to be there, I laughed a lot and boy - did I party. My strained foot can advise on how much I got-down. But I was able to do that because I had my BFF taking care of my precious little one for the night (which was also assisted by another BFF who allowed me to borrow their pack ‘n play), my family around me to share in the laughs and moments, and strangers (Seattle, are you listening?) being chatterboxes and awesome dance partners.
Whew! What a trip. This has been our busiest summer ever. I am happy to be back home, in our normal groove, and not traveling for quite awhile. There's so much more to talk about, but I need a refill.
the end.
What I didn’t expect, after my extended weekend away in California, was to come back with all-the-feelings. Grab your sparkling wine (thanks Mumm Napa) and cop-a-squat while I unpack.
Regret: I went down with Nick and Aurelia. And I knew that it would be hard to manage all-the-things with Aurelia in tow. But there wasn’t an alternative. It was either I go alone, or the whole family comes. While alone would have been okay, I wanted Nick and Aurelia to come, visit with people, see some sights, etc. We also had other family obligation in the works with Nick’s side of the family, so all-in-all, our trip needed to be all of us. However, because it was the whole kit-and-caboodle, we had to miss out on some really good extended family quality time. I never got to really talk to Ben. I was constantly thinking about Aurelia’s needs, so I didn’t get to converse with my aunts and uncles without being distracted or running away to grab her. There was also a lack of communication between all the families, so a lot of things could have been done better if I had had the forethought to discuss possible nap arrangements for Aurelia. So, I had big regrets leaving Napa without really having a chance to catch-up with all the family.
Melancholy: Though partnered with regret in correlation to family time (or lack thereof), melancholy’s biggest driver is California. It is always weird going back to California, and every time I fly away I feel something different. But the one feeling that is unchanging is melancholy. This state holds within its borders some of the greatest people I know and I miss them. I miss them a lot. I also miss the community; the understanding that to live in the Bay Area (or really, anywhere) is hard, so let’s not add to it by being dicks to each other. I am so, so, so over the “Seattle Freeze”. People of Seattle: it is completely acceptable to say hello to a stranger in a long line, if your eyes should meet. Also, making eye-contact with a stranger is normal and natural, and you should do it verses acting like the other person is Medusa or carrying a yet-to-be-known deadly contagious disease. Let’s all agree that we all got shit to do and being polite and considerate to the other human beings around is standard practice. You can also refer to this as “basic human decency”. Also, learn to drive.
Love: Man, did I feel the love. I might have been the only one, but I don’t care. I think I felt regret and melancholy so much because of love. Outside of the wedding, I got to visit extended friends and family, and sometimes introduce Aurelia for the first time. Also, there is nothing like going to a wedding, being surround by family and good friends (even if they aren’t your own), and celebrating such a momentous occasion. I felt so lucky to be there, I laughed a lot and boy - did I party. My strained foot can advise on how much I got-down. But I was able to do that because I had my BFF taking care of my precious little one for the night (which was also assisted by another BFF who allowed me to borrow their pack ‘n play), my family around me to share in the laughs and moments, and strangers (Seattle, are you listening?) being chatterboxes and awesome dance partners.
Whew! What a trip. This has been our busiest summer ever. I am happy to be back home, in our normal groove, and not traveling for quite awhile. There's so much more to talk about, but I need a refill.
the end.