what a fool
I was out the other night and I ran into a friend I haven’t talked to in a while. They asked about you, they asked how “we” were. I just started to laugh, it’s all that I can do at this point. After all, “we” were just a joke all along. If I don’t laugh about it, I might catch myself getting sappy ... and I can’t have that. Not in your name! The funny thing is, when I told them the tale “we” wrote, and about the surprise ending you delivered, they got angry. Angry at you for me; I’m sure it was their good intentions when they started to insult you. An attempt to make me feel better about it all, but ... something strange happened. It was the most peculiar thing of the evening, perhaps even of the month. I caught myself getting defensive, defensive about you! Silly huh? I know, it didn’t make any sense, not then and it still doesn’t. I was caught between the burning desire to join in the bashing, and the strange urge to defend you. As if you deserved defending or something. There was a time when I knew a man who looked a lot like you that was worthy of defense, well ... perhaps that was just it. I suppose it’s possible, maybe it was me, I had it wrong all a long. Maybe I never knew you. Oh that stings, because that just makes me the fool all over again. I’m so tired of being the fool, I’ve played that role one too many times.