Engineers...HA!
This, my friends, is taken from Mr. Luh:
>Understanding Engineers - Take One
>Two engineering students, one wheeling a bicycle, were
>crossing the campus when one said, "Where did you get such
>a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was
>walking along yesterday minding my own business when a
>beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike
>to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take
>what you want." The first engineer nodded approvingly, "Good
>choice; the clothes probably wouldn't fit."
>_________________________________________________________
>Understanding Engineers - Take Two
>To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist,
>the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice
>as big as it needs to be.
>_________________________________________________________
>Understanding Engineers - Take Three
>A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning
>for a particularly slow group of golfers ahead of them. The
>engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been
>waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know,
>but I've never seen such ineptitude!" The pastor said, "Hey,
>here comes the greenkeeper. Let's have a word with him."
>"Hi George! Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're
>rather slow, aren't they?" The greenkeeper replied, "Oh, yes,
>that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight
>saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always
>let them play for free any time." The group was silent for a
>moment. The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say
>a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good
>idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and
>see if there's anything he can do for them." The engineer
>said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
>__________________________________________________________
>Understanding Engineers - Take Four
>What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil
>Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons, and Civil
>Engineers build targets.
>__________________________________________________________
>Understanding Engineers - Take Five
>The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
>The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it
>work?" The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much
>will it cost?" The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you
>want fries with that?"
>__________________________________________________________
>Understanding Engineers - Take Six
>Three engineering students were gathered together discussing
>the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a
>mechanical engineer." Just look at all those amazing joints."
>Another said, "No, it could only have been an electrical
>engineer. Just look at the thousands of electrical connections
>in the nervous system!" The last one said, "Actually, it was a
>civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through
>a recreational area?"
>__________________________________________________________
>Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
>Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, you don't fix it.
>Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough
>features yet .
>Understanding Engineers - Take One
>Two engineering students, one wheeling a bicycle, were
>crossing the campus when one said, "Where did you get such
>a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was
>walking along yesterday minding my own business when a
>beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike
>to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take
>what you want." The first engineer nodded approvingly, "Good
>choice; the clothes probably wouldn't fit."
>_________________________________________________________
>Understanding Engineers - Take Two
>To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist,
>the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice
>as big as it needs to be.
>_________________________________________________________
>Understanding Engineers - Take Three
>A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning
>for a particularly slow group of golfers ahead of them. The
>engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been
>waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know,
>but I've never seen such ineptitude!" The pastor said, "Hey,
>here comes the greenkeeper. Let's have a word with him."
>"Hi George! Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're
>rather slow, aren't they?" The greenkeeper replied, "Oh, yes,
>that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight
>saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always
>let them play for free any time." The group was silent for a
>moment. The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say
>a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good
>idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and
>see if there's anything he can do for them." The engineer
>said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
>__________________________________________________________
>Understanding Engineers - Take Four
>What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil
>Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons, and Civil
>Engineers build targets.
>__________________________________________________________
>Understanding Engineers - Take Five
>The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
>The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it
>work?" The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much
>will it cost?" The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you
>want fries with that?"
>__________________________________________________________
>Understanding Engineers - Take Six
>Three engineering students were gathered together discussing
>the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a
>mechanical engineer." Just look at all those amazing joints."
>Another said, "No, it could only have been an electrical
>engineer. Just look at the thousands of electrical connections
>in the nervous system!" The last one said, "Actually, it was a
>civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through
>a recreational area?"
>__________________________________________________________
>Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
>Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, you don't fix it.
>Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough
>features yet .