(no subject)
☣paperwings.
G | EPISODE RAIN | 1059
Just a young man and his dog, taking a stroll down a path that's already been etched in both of their heads twice as much as they've gone through it. It doesn't take too long to realize that they're regulars around this area, because everyone around them is sending hello's and how are you today's down their way. But instead of replying, instead of acknowledging them with a smile, Akihiko walks on without noticing anything else. It takes a few sharp barks from Koromaru to bring him back to reality, and not a moment too soon because he would have tripped over the flowers left at the grave of someone he wasn't sure he was ready to say goodbye to.
"Ah, sorry, Koromaru. I wasn't paying attention..." Even then, there's an absentminded tone in his voice. Koromaru barks again, and it's obvious he's not pleased with this, but Akihiko doesn't address it a second time. When there's way too much on your mind, you discard things just a little bit too quickly, and somehow, it's hard to get it all back, but that's never your main concern. What Akihiko wants right now are answers. Answers to all the questions, answers to all the confusion-- answers that'll come from a source that'll never deliver.
Because he's gone now.
Dead and rotting, buried underneath the ground with a stone marking where he lies,
ARAGAKI SHINJIRO
1991 to 2009
"This is how it should be."
This is the way you had to go.
But that doesn't make it okay.
You left without telling me anything, and now, I don't know what to do.
Knees that were once firm suddenly feel weak and wobbly, and they can't help but want to buckle underneath the realization that it's only been a few days, and sure the news did sink in, but it's never going to hurt any less, never going to stop bringing back the idea of I failed to protect someone again. But they don't give in to the pressure, he keeps standing on his own two feet and makes himself remember what he said right in front of Shinji, what he told himself the day after--
I can't carry this guilt forever.
(But you make it a point to make it hard for me, huh, Shinji?)
And there's a part of him that feels bad for putting the blame on someone else who can't fight back anymore, but there's another part that can't help it. He's always been about making excuses (she died because I wasn't strong enough to save her), but now, it's a different story. Shinji died because--? Because what? He can't find a reason that fits the puzzle, and that only serves to tell him that he's been leading his life down the wrong way. Become strong enough to do what we think is right-- yeah, sure, what good did that do?
Just look what happened.
"Hey, Koromaru," he starts, and you can tell he's a little desperate for answers, "Shinji took you for walks, right? Everyday, since that bastard didn't care enough to come for school. You're the lucky one," and this is where his forehead creases in deep thought, "Did he ever tell you anything? A reason why he accepted it? Something I would've missed?" By now, he's kneeling beside his companion, his eyes searching for the things he wants to know, but Koromaru only barks and looks at him with a content face.
Akihiko stares at him for a little while longer, and then he finally closes his eyes with a frustrated sigh. "Who am I kidding..." Koromaru's ears flatten themselves down, and he's whining at Akihiko, nudging his face to get him to cheer up and start smiling. But Akihiko only looks at him, and he stands up without other things to say except for, "Let's head back." There's no explanation given; it's not like it's necessary, so he starts to walk away. He hears whining again, but he doesn't look back and wait for it to stop.
It's a quiet walk back home, but it's no surprise. Koromaru looks like he has something to say, but he's not given a chance to say it. Akihiko doesn't look all that happy right now, and even if there's no anger written on his face, it's not hard to tell that he is. But if anyone asks, they'd get the same old answer of I'm fine/it's nothing and be left with that, and they'd never pry. He's just good at dodging things he never wants anyone to bring up, especially since he's had enough of it with the way he digs it up all on his own.
This is stupid, he tells himself, but he shakes that thought away as soon as he opens the door to the dorm. Aegis is the only one present in the living room, and he sends a nod of acknowledgement down her way, but doesn't stop to talk about anything. The only thought in his head is the fact that he still has a bunch of studying to do; it's nearing the exams, after all. Before he can even head up the stairs, however, Koromaru's barking a few times, and then Aegis' monotone voice cuts through the silence.
"Koromaru-san would like you to wait for he has something to tell you." A static flatline strings the words together, and Akihiko finds himself stopping in his tracks to look back at her and Koromaru. There's a curious look on his face (What is it?), and even though he doesn't voice it out, Aegis only nods and continues talking. "Koromaru-san says Aragaki-san would like you to remember--" And suddenly it's not Aegis telling him the next few words, but--
You're fine like this, Aki. Don't hold on.
Shinji. Shinji. That bastard.
Even in death, you're still telling me the same thing.
And Akihiko's smiling like he hasn't in a while, because he knows, he knows this is what he has to do. He's not looking at either Koromaru and Aegis anymore, but what he says is still addressed to them, "Thanks. That's all I needed to hear." The smile on his lips is soft now, thankful, relieved, because at least now, he finally has an answer.
One is good enough, Shinji. This is good enough.
title. Paperwings.
genre. General.
rating. G.
characters. Aegis, Koromaru, Sanada Akihiko; Persona 3.
warnings. Spoilers for October Full Moon.
wordcount. 1059.
notes. I'm way over my head.
disclaimer. Bodies, limbs, thoughts, &things aren't mine. I just pull the strings &stay on the sidelines, 'cause that's where the puppeteer belongs when her dolls are strutting all over the stage.
synopsis. This is good enough.
G | EPISODE RAIN | 1059
Just a young man and his dog, taking a stroll down a path that's already been etched in both of their heads twice as much as they've gone through it. It doesn't take too long to realize that they're regulars around this area, because everyone around them is sending hello's and how are you today's down their way. But instead of replying, instead of acknowledging them with a smile, Akihiko walks on without noticing anything else. It takes a few sharp barks from Koromaru to bring him back to reality, and not a moment too soon because he would have tripped over the flowers left at the grave of someone he wasn't sure he was ready to say goodbye to.
"Ah, sorry, Koromaru. I wasn't paying attention..." Even then, there's an absentminded tone in his voice. Koromaru barks again, and it's obvious he's not pleased with this, but Akihiko doesn't address it a second time. When there's way too much on your mind, you discard things just a little bit too quickly, and somehow, it's hard to get it all back, but that's never your main concern. What Akihiko wants right now are answers. Answers to all the questions, answers to all the confusion-- answers that'll come from a source that'll never deliver.
Because he's gone now.
Dead and rotting, buried underneath the ground with a stone marking where he lies,
ARAGAKI SHINJIRO
1991 to 2009
"This is how it should be."
This is the way you had to go.
But that doesn't make it okay.
You left without telling me anything, and now, I don't know what to do.
Knees that were once firm suddenly feel weak and wobbly, and they can't help but want to buckle underneath the realization that it's only been a few days, and sure the news did sink in, but it's never going to hurt any less, never going to stop bringing back the idea of I failed to protect someone again. But they don't give in to the pressure, he keeps standing on his own two feet and makes himself remember what he said right in front of Shinji, what he told himself the day after--
I can't carry this guilt forever.
(But you make it a point to make it hard for me, huh, Shinji?)
And there's a part of him that feels bad for putting the blame on someone else who can't fight back anymore, but there's another part that can't help it. He's always been about making excuses (she died because I wasn't strong enough to save her), but now, it's a different story. Shinji died because--? Because what? He can't find a reason that fits the puzzle, and that only serves to tell him that he's been leading his life down the wrong way. Become strong enough to do what we think is right-- yeah, sure, what good did that do?
Just look what happened.
"Hey, Koromaru," he starts, and you can tell he's a little desperate for answers, "Shinji took you for walks, right? Everyday, since that bastard didn't care enough to come for school. You're the lucky one," and this is where his forehead creases in deep thought, "Did he ever tell you anything? A reason why he accepted it? Something I would've missed?" By now, he's kneeling beside his companion, his eyes searching for the things he wants to know, but Koromaru only barks and looks at him with a content face.
Akihiko stares at him for a little while longer, and then he finally closes his eyes with a frustrated sigh. "Who am I kidding..." Koromaru's ears flatten themselves down, and he's whining at Akihiko, nudging his face to get him to cheer up and start smiling. But Akihiko only looks at him, and he stands up without other things to say except for, "Let's head back." There's no explanation given; it's not like it's necessary, so he starts to walk away. He hears whining again, but he doesn't look back and wait for it to stop.
It's a quiet walk back home, but it's no surprise. Koromaru looks like he has something to say, but he's not given a chance to say it. Akihiko doesn't look all that happy right now, and even if there's no anger written on his face, it's not hard to tell that he is. But if anyone asks, they'd get the same old answer of I'm fine/it's nothing and be left with that, and they'd never pry. He's just good at dodging things he never wants anyone to bring up, especially since he's had enough of it with the way he digs it up all on his own.
This is stupid, he tells himself, but he shakes that thought away as soon as he opens the door to the dorm. Aegis is the only one present in the living room, and he sends a nod of acknowledgement down her way, but doesn't stop to talk about anything. The only thought in his head is the fact that he still has a bunch of studying to do; it's nearing the exams, after all. Before he can even head up the stairs, however, Koromaru's barking a few times, and then Aegis' monotone voice cuts through the silence.
"Koromaru-san would like you to wait for he has something to tell you." A static flatline strings the words together, and Akihiko finds himself stopping in his tracks to look back at her and Koromaru. There's a curious look on his face (What is it?), and even though he doesn't voice it out, Aegis only nods and continues talking. "Koromaru-san says Aragaki-san would like you to remember--" And suddenly it's not Aegis telling him the next few words, but--
You're fine like this, Aki. Don't hold on.
Shinji. Shinji. That bastard.
Even in death, you're still telling me the same thing.
And Akihiko's smiling like he hasn't in a while, because he knows, he knows this is what he has to do. He's not looking at either Koromaru and Aegis anymore, but what he says is still addressed to them, "Thanks. That's all I needed to hear." The smile on his lips is soft now, thankful, relieved, because at least now, he finally has an answer.
One is good enough, Shinji. This is good enough.
title. Paperwings.
genre. General.
rating. G.
characters. Aegis, Koromaru, Sanada Akihiko; Persona 3.
warnings. Spoilers for October Full Moon.
wordcount. 1059.
notes. I'm way over my head.
disclaimer. Bodies, limbs, thoughts, &things aren't mine. I just pull the strings &stay on the sidelines, 'cause that's where the puppeteer belongs when her dolls are strutting all over the stage.
synopsis. This is good enough.