the past
so i'm still reading my old lj. tonight's readings were from may 2002 until september 2002. from graduating high school, to working at pennyroyal, to starting college at earlham. it's funny how i talk about so many people in there, but now have no idea who i'm talking about. there's a whole bunch of stuff where i gave "code names" to people at earlham and i can only figure out about half of them. weird.
went to holly's this afternoon for her birthday. it was just me, her, and amanda, but it was nice. too bad it got super cloudy so early. made hotdogs that have a lingering lighter fluid taste to them. i can taste it when i burp. it won't kill me, will it? it's so funny to have adult friends that aren't connected to my work life. i'm still somewhat socially awkward, but less awkward than i used to be.
i've been thinking about misty lately. and realizing that even though she says she wants to keep in touch and maybe be friends and all that, she's not putting forth any effort. so i'm giving up putting in effort there. it's just not worth it. and as jesse at work pointed out, i'm really mostly lying to myself when i say i'm ready to be her friend.
i'm working a double on saturday and then a mini-shift on sunday. it's okay though because it will probably be the last overtime i get for a while. new guy starts work in a couple of weeks. i wonder what he'll be like. at least i won't be the "new" one any more.
i should go to sleep, but i took a nap trying to get rid of my headache earlier. plus i didn't get up til 2 pm. so i'm really not all that tired.
my brain used to spin around all the time. and sometimes it still does. but as i've gotten older, i think i've learned how to stop it from doing that so much. mostly it's in distracting myself... which is how i started reading my old lj in the first place. plus, i think it may be theraputically helpful and i'm almost excited to discuss this with janet this week? next week? i need to figure out when i see her next because i missed one appointment and was then late for the rescheduled one. she made fun of me and asked if i did it on purpose. i really didn't though, i'd just been working six days a week for a month and needed sleep. when you pay for your own therapy, you tend to value it more than when someone forces you to go.
that said, i need to sleep. or at least curl up in bed with a book. (my printed lj is too big to lay in bed with. hah.)