Fall apart
Title: Fall apart
Chapter: 1/1
Author: stargirl82
Fandom: McFly
Pairing: Flones (Danny Jones/Tom Fletcher)
Rating: hard R
Warnings: sex. angst. expletives.
Wordcount: 1576
Disclaimer: Don't know, don't own. Unfortunately. If I did I'd keep them in my closet, all tied-up.
Author's note: I don't know why I wrote this. But I did. It's kinda angsty and I don't know if it really has a point. Tom has done something he considers to be really wrong. And now he has to deal with the consequences.
Tom lay perfectly still, cheek resting on the pillow he'd hugged to him. His eyes were closed and a fine sheen of sweat covered his pale skin as he bit his bottom lip to keep from crying out as his dark-haired lover pounded into him almost ruthlessly. He welcomed it. As long as Danny was busy doing him, he wouldn't notice that something was wrong.
The blond boy turned his face away, buried it in the soft pillow that smelled of lavender and vanilla. A second later Danny bent down and kissed Tom's shoulder, fingers digging into his lover's hips as he moved slower, more lovingly. "You're so hot."
Taking a shaky breath, hoping to God that Danny would mistake it for panting, Tom squeezed his eyes shut and pushed his hips back, allowing the younger boy to go even deeper. He didn't fight it, didn't stop him but he just couldn't bring himself to enjoy it. He didn't want to cum; not when he didn't deserve it. Quite frankly, he didn't deserve to do anything with his lover. Not anymore. Not after what he had done.
Sure enough, Danny picked up his pace and dealt a few particular hard thrusts that would have made the blond cry out in pain if he hadn't bitten his lip as hard as he could.
Then the boy collapsed on top of Tom, breathing heavily.
Danny allowed himself a few seconds of peace before he got up again and disposed of the condom. His sweaty locks clung to his forehead as he caressed Tom's arm and then brought his fingers down to the older boy's stomach. Before he could curl his fingers around the boy's length, Tom moved, curling himself into a ball.
A deep frown on his face, Danny sat up, trying to catch his breath and think at the same time. It was a bit hard with him still feeling a little out of it but he really started to think that something wasn't quite right. To say that Tom was behaving a little odd would have been an understatement.
Oh God, he hadn't hurt him, had he? He did remember being a little rough but surely not enough to severely hurt his boyfriend. "Tom? Tom! Are you all right? Did I hurt you?"
Tom cringed. He couldn't let the other boy think that he'd hurt him during sex. He'd never be able to forgive himself if he let him think that it was his fault. Well, he'd never be able to forgive himself. Ever. But that wasn't the point. Wiping his eyes on the pillow before he lifted his head and faced him, Tom hoped that Danny wouldn't see the few stray tears that had leaked from the corners of his eyes.
"No. I'm... I'm okay." It was a lie. A lie that even Danny could see through.
"Don't lie to me. You're not okay. You're anything but okay. What's wrong? If I didn't hurt you, then why are you so... so... gloomy? You didn't want to have sex, right? Oh please tell me you didn't do it because I wanted to even though you weren't in the mood."
If only it was that simple. Tom shook his head, desperately trying to come up with a story but there was nothing. Nothing. His head was empty, panic was starting to spread out and fill his every fibre. He'd loose him. He would loose him and everything that had ever meant anything to him. One of them would have to quit the band and then they'd be unhappy forever.
All of a sudden, he couldn't bear it anymore. A sob escaped his throat as he threw himself at Danny, very nearly cracking his head open on the bedside table. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean for this to happen, I swear I didn't!"
"Oh my God." The dark-haired boy wrapped his arms around the sobbing and shivering mess that was Tom. He fought his own panic down, determined to stay calm, comfort Tom, then find out what the hell was going on. It almost sounded like Tom had killed someone but he doubted that that was the case.
For a long time, the boys lay there, Danny stroking Tom's back, whispering that everything was going to be all right even though he had no idea what he was talking about. Finally, the blond's sobs died down and he just sniffled every once in a while. Still, he refused to let go of Danny, refused to move and look into the other boy's eyes, scared that he'd find the betrayal in his eyes.
"Babe, we've got to talk. Please tell me what's wrong."
How could he not do what Danny wanted him to do? How much he loved Danny's voice. His eyes. His smile. His touch. How could he have ruined everything?
"You're going to hate me," the blond whispered miserably, face still pressed to the younger boy's chest.
"I could never hate you, Tom. Just tell me what's going on. Please."
"I... I did something... stupid."
It was barely a whisper. Danny had to strain his ears to hear the older boy's words. "What? What did you do?"
Tom gulped, finally pulling away. He sat up and wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand. "I..."
Danny was at the end of his patience. "What? Did you kill someone?" A shake of Tom's blond head told him that he'd guessed wrong. "Tom, you're really freaking me out!"
The older boy cringed slightly. "I... I got really drunk last night..."
"We all got drunk. What happened after I went to bed? You never came up to our room. You..." All of a sudden, realisation dawned on him. "You were with someone else, weren't you?"
The blond didn't confirm it; but he didn't deny it either.
"Who?" Danny didn't sound nice and warm anymore. He'd turned into a cold stranger.
"D-does it matter?" whispered Tom, wringing his hands in his lap, not daring to look at his soon-to-be ex-boyfriend.
"Oh yes, it matters. It matters because you chose to throw away what we had for... for some..." The younger boy was obviously out of words. Tom didn't blame him.
"So, how was it? Did you guys have fun?"
Each word was like a slap in the face. The older boy didn't know how to react. What was he supposed to tell him? "I don't... remember."
"Ah, that's just too bad. You go and get drunk, cheat on me and then you don't even remember it. Bummer." Danny abruptly hopped off the bed. He bent down and picked up his clothes, furiously trying to put them on and ripping his underwear in the process. "I hope you enjoyed having his cock up your arse because this was certainly the last time that I- OH FUCK!" Tossing the ripped piece of clothing back to the floor, he grabbed his jeans instead and stepped into them.
Tom had sat there in silence, watching the angry boy struggle to get dressed but Danny's last words shocked him to no end. "What?" He jumped up and kicked the other boy's shirt out of reach, then grabbed his arms. "Danny, I didn't-"
"Don't. touch. me." The younger boy shoved Tom away.
"But... Danny, I did not sleep with him. Do you hear me? I didn't have sex with him."
They were both breathing hard. Tom watched Danny lift his head in slow motion, hurt and confusion clearly visible on his handsome features. He stopped buttoning his trousers and locked eyes with his boyfriend. "You didn't sleep with him?"
The blond shook his head. "No."
"Did you... suck him?"
Tom's eyes widened in horror and he shook his head again. "No."
The younger boy blinked at him, then stared at him in utter confusion. "I pretty much asked you if you cheated on me and you didn't deny it."
"Yes. I mean, I did. I... we didn't stop drinking when you left. And then... I don't know how it happened but... he kissed me and I... I didn't stop him."
Danny's jaw dropped. Literally. "Let me get this straight. You kissed someone last night? And that's all that happened?"
Nodding his head, Tom looked away, feeling ashamed of himself.
"You shared a few kisses with someone and let me think that you let them fuck you? YOU IDIOT!" The dark-haired boy shouted before he went to throw his arms around a dumbfounded Tom.
"I'm sorry. So, so sorry."
"You better be sorry. God, for a minute I thought we were over." Danny sighed and placed a kiss on the blond's neck. "Don't ever scare me like that again. Ever!"
"Okay." The older boy couldn't believe his luck. He stood there completely thunderstruck, unable to hug his boyfriend back. Apparently Danny wasn't mad at him at all. Or maybe he was just relieved that he hadn't had sex with someone else. "Why aren't you mad?"
Danny took a deep breath. "Oh, I will be mad." After he was done feeling relieved that Tom hadn't cheated on him after all. A kiss or two meant nothing. Especially not if they were drunken kisses.
"Perhaps not," he added a little while later, just before he started sucking on Tom's sweet spot. Rumour had it that makeup sex was the best sex in the world. Danny was determined to find out whether that rumour was true.