(no subject)
i am not sure if i am in the right place. part of my absolutely loves georgetown--the school spirit and academics and the international atmosphere and just everything. It is so interesting and everyone wants to be here and my classes are challenging and it is is in a phenomenal location. but part of me keeps nagging me that this is not what i want at all. it is not real by any sense of the world--it is full of rich kids in the latest marc jacobs and ralph lauren fashions, getting completely wasted all weekend in order to feel important, and interesting. they take for granted the wealth and fortune of their lives and live to an excess- they are clearly bright and motivated kids but they seem to be so average, so fake. i worked so hard throughout high school and now i feel like i am dealing with many of the same people i have for that past four years. now don't get me wrong,pre-gaming in some kids dorm room or going party hopping is sometimes fun, but it just seems so pointless and repetitive, as if we need that to keep us going throughout the week.
i just feel like i want to do something raw and interesting, something that actually makes me feel like i am living and experiencing something new rather than being trapped in a bubble in the rich part of DC. I love it here, but part of me worries that i will become like them. and i know that this is a complete generalization because there are so many interesting kids here, and i just havent met them yet. but i myself am not interesting, so how can i meet any of those kids? i feel so run of the mill here, which is fine, but i just dont like what the mill has to offer, if that makes sense. i feel like casey's college experience is everything, where he is actually doing something new and real and interesting. i shouldn't follow the beaten path so much and try to excel and be ordinary. but then i feel like to achieve my desired goal in life i need to go to georgetown and be in sfs and do great things. i can't even think about it now.
i love it here, and its 4 am
i just feel like i want to do something raw and interesting, something that actually makes me feel like i am living and experiencing something new rather than being trapped in a bubble in the rich part of DC. I love it here, but part of me worries that i will become like them. and i know that this is a complete generalization because there are so many interesting kids here, and i just havent met them yet. but i myself am not interesting, so how can i meet any of those kids? i feel so run of the mill here, which is fine, but i just dont like what the mill has to offer, if that makes sense. i feel like casey's college experience is everything, where he is actually doing something new and real and interesting. i shouldn't follow the beaten path so much and try to excel and be ordinary. but then i feel like to achieve my desired goal in life i need to go to georgetown and be in sfs and do great things. i can't even think about it now.
i love it here, and its 4 am