All those big words she learned in college...
Complete insomniac last night. I didn't sleep a wink, I was just up thinking, and thinking. Mostly about college, Serwaa, my Dad, and Nick. So just as my room started to light up by the sun, I threw back my sheets in frustration.I gave up sleeping and decided to get up and surf the web. This was like 6:30. So hopefully I can put all my thoughts to the side and sleep tonight.
Let's see...Lately me and my Dad have been butting heads w/everything. Today he lectured me about becoming a dedicated student, and how he doesn't feel that I'm taking things seriously. He thinks I should hold off college and work in the "real world" for a while. A little depressing that he doesn't believe in me, but oh well. I'm feeling so distant from my family. It's gotten to a point where I cannot stand to even be in the same room as my Dad. I feel guilty for being out of the house so much, but when I'm home I'm either in trouble, or grinding my teeth. Sigh.
Summer has been great, It's so amazing that I've found friends that actually seem to like me for me. The days have been so much fun! Slurpee madness, wonderful Target, going Star Wars card huntin', I just simply cannot get enough. Although the summer is a little bittersweet...Serwaa, and Monica, I really wish that things could have gone better. I honestly don't know what I did that offended you guys so much. Serwaa I've tried calling you a million times but you never answer. I just wanna talk, and I guess I'm just wondering why our friendship had to go sour. We were gonna freaking be college buddies! It just seems like we should clear some things up.
I am so happy that Nick and I are together. It's nice to meet someone who can always make me laugh. Being happy and laughing over trivial point games, playing Mortal Kombat, watching him get frustrated at the radio. I love it all. Although at times it seems like he's putting up with me, I am so thankful that he continues to do so.
It's so strange how I've been feeling lately. It's like a current keeps pulling and tugging me under. Trapped, maybe smothered, I feel that I can't be myself. Everyone keeps telling me to change, and that I'll be 18 soon. To act my age, to mature, to buckle down, to focus. It's like everything that I do will ripple and cause me some sort of grief down the road. Thinking about all this, I guess it's just growing up. I'm a bit timid of the future.
So, I was going to see Willy Wonka today, but that kinda died. Very very cool of my Mom, today we went to Sam's Club and she bought me the new Harry Potter book! I already devoured one chapter, I really have to wane myself, or I'll be done in a second. I really enjoyed playing in the pool with my little sister today, I was outside cleaning my rat's cage and I got majorly hot and sweaty! Then I cleaned up my little dogs, clipped their nails, and gave them stylish hair-dos. Took them for a walk, that was surprisingly pleasant. I ran around like a mad-man chasing my dogs in the park, their fast little devils. So then I came home starving....and well I nearly cried when I smelt the kitchen. Steak....BLAH! and even more bleh.. baked potatoes. So I had some potatoes and bread for dinner. Now I'm like starving. Oh, well. I think I will buy tickets for the system of a down concert, I love them so! Well that's about it! 35 more days till school!
**** So today I found out some very unsettling news. At Sam's Club they have chickens roasting on display, I counted and there were 40 in all. I asked the butcher how many times they put new chickens on there and he says it depends they restock up to 2-3 times a day! That's like 120 dead chickens roasted up everyday!! So for a year thats 43,800 dead chickens!!! That's just one store, in one city, in one state!! Craziness. - Not that I have anything against chicken eaters, I love chicken too...It's just crazy! ****